Couch 218: Northern Minnesota 2050

If the address of her "new office" is the same as a restaurant, be suspicious!

Yes. He just called me and said he knew he hadn't been very available for me but that he was thinking of me, asked how i was doing, said it was good to hear my voice, and that he was looking forward to our session. That felt very nice. Gotta admit I was confused when I saw his name pop-up on my phone, especially because I was still in bed and half asleep.

I am so effing mad. The secretary who manages the doctors in my division told me to block off this week (8/15-8/21) for onboarding, so I did. She never emailed me a schedule despite several email requests from me. She just emailed me TODAY telling me I have to block off next week for onboarding instead. Well I can't effing do that because I shoved all of this week's stuff to next week, plus I'm taking my freaking BOARD EXAMS next Friday.

I have no idea what I'm going to do because obviously I still have to do the idiot onboarding stuff (even though it's the same damn hospital where I did my residency) but I'm sure as hell not doing it next week. She didn't even apologize, or acknowledge she did something wrong!

I'm so glad I'm only going to have this job for a year.

Wow, that's an incredible oversight, Chihiro.

Sounds like their stuff up, though - they ought to have the dates for the exams?

Ugh, that sucks Chihiro...

Hugs, chihiro, that sucks. Surely they can get it figured out!

well my first virtual class starts this evening, Psych Research Methods. I've done mostly online classes up til now, this one had only ever been offered in person during the day when I couldn't go because of work, this semester it's two evenings a week and virtual on top of that, so much the better. Just waiting on content to be loaded, prof put up a syllabus this morning but that's all that's there so far. I would like instructions on where and how to access the virtual classroom.... well, she has 8 hours til class time so I assume it will all be ready by then.... i'm just being hyper cuz I'm off work today haha. I think I shall use this energy for good and go clean my house or something. hugs to all who want.

eta a little while later I see that we'll be using google meet. we'll see how it goes!

I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

Did you make a decision?

Good luck with the class!

J is coming over tonight and I'm not really excited about it. I don't know what my deal is. I was head over heels for him like a month ago. T thinks I should dump him because I deserve someone who really clearly wants to be with me. My BFF from back home agrees. My local BFF is more encouraging. I have no idea what the eff I think. (I know that's stupid AF--believe me, I'm judging myself too.)

I like spending time with him but we run out of things to talk about and he doesn't want me singing or humming and he hates cats for some reason and doesn't really believe in marriage and is wary of my mental health stuff and I just don't know. I feel like I'm looking for a clear-cut reason to break up with him but I can't find one.

At the same time, I am 31 and feel like I missed out on all the good guys because I didn't really care about dating in my 20s (I was suuuuper school/career focused) and I am fat and ugly and crazy and who the hell else is going to date me? And I hate dating so freaking much. And every relationship has its downsides, right? So maybe I just hafta settle for this guy.

I don't know, just ignore me. I'm dumb and I don't know what I want.

And to you with yours!

You sound like you're overwhelmed. Are you having fun with him? Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you have overlapping interests? That's all that should matter one month in. Other than if he's being abusive in any way, in which case, dump him.

Yeah, I think I am overwhelmed.

We've been dating for two months now. Nothing abusive. We do have fun together.

The hitch is that about a month in he moved a 90 minute drive away. (He had already told his landlord he wasn't renewing his lease before he and I met.) And also the thing where he said he wasn't sure he could see a future with me. (Well, he said he felt hesitant about it, though he couldn't seem to tell me why he felt that way.)

T is worried that I'm going to get deeper and deeper into this and that I'm going to get hurt. My BFF thinks I deserve someone who adores me and J seems to just kinda like me okay.

Don’t think of it as he’s the last train leaving the station. He’s not.

And the every relationship has its flaws argument just perpetuates unhappy relationships imo.

Carolyn Hax often says that if you’re single and don’t want to be, the important thing is to learn to be happy with you in your singleness, not find a relationship to bandaid that over.

Plus, he hates cats.

ETA: is he near your age? I guarantee you you are not the only woman to find him wanting.

Thanks, @@

He's 36. He's had serious relationships before. One was like 2 years but then she cheated on him.

I sense a total lack of enthusiasm about him. This early in, you should still be excited. If you're meh about seeing him, that's very telling. I think of some relationships I had in the past where I'd get a phone call shortly before a date and sort of hope it was the guy calling to cancel--and that was a big sign for me.

And I agree that you deserve someone who adores you. I get an "afraid of commitment" vibe from what you've said about him.

There is no guarantee in any relationship that one or other person or both won't get hurt. How would anyone know in just two months whether there was a future? Do you have a cat? I think you may be rushing things a lot.

The videos I requested be captioned a month ago for a course I'm teaching (this is for my use) are *still* not captioned, and the first batch were due to be captioned this past Monday.

(Yes, yes, I know, the fall is uncertain. But I can sue. The virus can't.)

I am angry that I would get a better and much more timely disability accommodation if I were a student in this course than I am getting as the one teaching it. Maybe I should go find a deaf or hearing-impaired student to enroll in it and ask for captioning.

That is reprehensible, ATAT. I would happily caption the material for you, were I in a position to do so.

I got the remaining 5 upper teeth pulled today. I'm in a lot of pain from the two front sites. I wish I didn't have to make the decision. I still don't know if it was the right thing to do. They all were compromised (root canals + crowns), and one had an infection. But my teeth might have lasted another 5 years (probably not). It's just hard removing your teeth especially when they're still functioning.

They didn't give me the temporary dentures today. They're waiting to make the impressions when the swelling goes down on Monday. So I'll have L on Friday...without any upper teeth. I'm thinking of canceling. It's just so embarrassing!

Hugs, that sounds awful. Could you email L in advance about your fears? I think she'd be completely understanding.

Thanks. I have been updating her with everything which is hard enough. I'm waiting to hear back from her sometime probably tonight. I just don't see a solution to this.

First night of Psych Research Methods done. I enjoyed it, having live interactions with my classmates even if it was online. (Google Meet is a lot like Zoom.) I actually spoke up and participated a few times. Our introduction discussion post was due tonight already before class ended! She gave us the last hour to write and post them. Going forward, our assignments/discussion posts are due every Sunday night by 11:59pm.

I found earplugs for swimming, they're the squishy silicone putty ones. We'll see how they work tomorrow, I plan to swim at some point. I like stay at home PTO days. I mean, an actual vacation would be nice too, but not in the cards right now. It's nice to just kick around the house.

Tomorrow morning I have to go do followup bloodwork, then diabetic cat has a vet appointment in the afternoon, but will work in my swim around those. Then I 'see' L on zoom Friday morning.

Very important to get the cat to the vet. It's been a while since Bunny, my last wonderful cat, passed away. I'm planning to look for a new kitty when this pandemic is over.