Couch 222: Create, Cooperate, Harmonize

Congrats, Artie!!! Both on passing the class and overriding the "good girl."

Hugs, Chihiro.

hugs chihiro.

Thanks for sharing this. I got lots of sleep last night (for once), so maybe I can make it till 11 to go out and look? Says partly cloudy though (then rain a couple hours later), so not sure if I'll be able to see. But worth a shot.

Supposed to be clear tomorrow night, but I generally never have two good nights of sleep in a row...but hey, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I could wander outside.

We were going to go drive out and watch for the meteor showers but we are under a lot of cloud cover for miles

Watching Columbo. One of my favorite episodes. Julie Harris and Donald Pleasance.

I love watching Columbo. I might settle in with that tonight.

I'm hoping that pdoc's office calls tomorrow with an appointment slot for me this week. It is so difficult to get an appointment

Thank you. Kidlet was 100% fine today. Eating, drinking etc so who knows. Maybe just a sleepy down day. We all have those.

Donald Pleasance was so spluttery in this episode. Spluttery as in what was once referred to as flaming? When Julie Harris goes to kiss him, ugh - total recoil! (on his part). His half-brother is a "sporty playboy". Anyway his performance gives a very "Death In Venice" fraught, tragic sense to the mystery.

Wishing your child a speedy recovery.

I'm sorry about your loss too,

Wow, I am incredibly grumpy today. Not sure why. Could be that I've been eating like utter crap for the last few days, unclear.

T ended up calling me at 4 PM on Saturday and we talked for an hour. It was good to connect. She asked me specifically what I believed religiously on a couple of things and then disagreed with me. That's fine, she can believe what she wants, but I just found it odd because she was asking me. Maybe because she was telling me what she believes and I wasn't responding. We are similar in our beliefs but have some doctrinal differences. It's not a huge deal, but she seemed to make it a huge deal last session for some unbeknownst reason. But she is going to see me this coming Saturday at 4 (I couldn't do our usual time of 11 AM) so that's something.


I'm pretty sure pdoc is going to disagree with her on a couple of things she had to say about my hallucinations. I see him beginning of January.

Kit, I'm glad you were able to talk to your T. But I find it odd she expressed her difference in opinion on the religious topics. I could certainly see Pastor T doing that (and would probably make sense for him to do so). I'm not religious, but I think it would bother me if my T were sharing her religious beliefs with me. Dr. T has shared a few political things, but that was after he knew I very much agreed with him, because of things I'd said. Had he countered my political beliefs with his own, that would have bothered me.

Do you feel like you could say something to her about the religious stuff? Particularly, why she was asking you then sharing her beliefs?

Glad you can see her Saturday, too.

Seemingly random things I have now cried about in therapy: Not caring about wearing jewelry or makeup anymore (due to COVID and mostly being in the house). I used to carefully choose what (usually beaded) bracelets I'd wear. I'd always wear my wedding/engagement ring on my left hand plus some sort of ring on my right hand. Now no rings at all. Because if I'm just running out to get carryout, who cares? And I'd often wear necklaces of various types. I mentioned not bothering with makeup or doing anything to my hair anymore, too (also with tears). That it used to be stuff I cared about or had fun with. Dr. T said it sounded like a symptom of depression, which makes sense.

I hope I can get back to at least enjoying jewelry again once COVID is over. Or occasionally doing makeup, like for a date night or something, though if I don't care about wearing it for a trip to Target, that could be a positive development, I think (being less concerned about my appearance and what others think of me).

Oh, and I got a "Take care" at the end this time. Probably because we were talking about his time off for holidays (really just two 5-day weekends) and I was tearing up slightly.

Yeah it was odd but my T gets loopy sometimes. That's what I call it.....loopy. I probably won't call her out on it unless she persists because I'm not in therapy for religious reasons and I couldn't care less if she disagrees with what I believe. All I care about is if she respects what I believe. I still feel like she respects what I believe even though she thinks I'm dead wrong. It had to do with a part of the afterlife so I kind of chalked it up to I guess we'll see whose right when we die. So it's probably not an issue I need to bring up. It was a weird/nice/different session. She sort of apologized for missing my appointment but not in a super great way. She was just a bit loopy. Still glad I got to talk to her though. She's comforting and calming.

Last night i dreamt that i moved to the UK on an impulse but mother was there she has been dead for nearly 20 years and my ex's nephew who i am not really keen on lived there too starting some weird business. Halfway through the dream i realised that if i stayed more than 6 weeks i lose my govt pension and started to panic until someone pointed out i had dual citizenship and it would be ok and it was. I am sure irl it would nt be so easy. It was such an emotionally intense dream i woke up tired. I tend not to have emotional dreams and am usually the observer in dreams.

Uuuugh I don't feel well and I'm bored and I'm tortured by my effing mental health and I am SO FREAKING SICK OF THIS.

This pretty much encapsulates it. (Includes bad language so don't click if you would like to avoid such things.)

At least it rhymes!

Covid talk

My Coworker from NY (I'm in CA) sent me a Christmas present. It is a little decorative tree. It is ceramic or glass I'm not sure which and it lights up and it is really pretty. I'm surprised because every time I send her something she's like, "Don't send me stuff. Don't spoil me." Of course I send her stuff anyway! I'm pleasantly overwhelmed by her kindness today.

More Covid talk: