Did your therapist block you on Facebook?

I couldn’t find my old therapist on Facebook. Tonight I was making a new email account and then I decided to make a new Facebook that I’d just delete later. And I found my therapist did in fact block me. Why would she do that? I find it kind of hurtful.

I'm sorry your ex-T blocked you. That would hurt me as well.

Ex-T, T, and L have all locked down their profile in fb because of me. It hurts, but not as bad as if they blocked me. L was really nice and told me she would give me the pictures from there (she knows I would look at pictures to feel connected to her; not to stalk her).

I would be terribly hurt by that, too. But then...your ex-therapist didn't always handle things in the best way, imo.

you asked why would she do that? only she can answer that, maybe next time you see or talk with her you can ask her...

that said I can tell you why many of my treatment providers make sure they block their clients.... they know that its tempting for clients to search social media (Facebook twitter ect... ) and thats their private life that we as clients dont have a right too.

quite frankly I trust my therapist to tell me what they want me to know about them, and they trust me to tell them what I want them to know about me.

yea they are right it is tempting to do a facebook search of my doctors and therapists but I respect them and their wishes not to have their clients entering their private lives. thats their down time, their family time, facebook is not their work time.

I guess it's part of her ethical code? I mean in the UK T's aren't allowed to be associated with clients outwith the therapeutic relationship. So I have never even looked for mines on fb or anywhere else as its her life and also I wouldn't want her checking on my fb page (not like I write anything on it anyways). It would be weird. It's bad enough seeing a professional out with in my personal life ie my ex nurse went to the same church as me. That was awkward and I stopped going. Made it easier for us both (we were normal when we saw each other) it's just like seeing a teacher out with school as a kid it's ethical code of conduct right?

Your T blocked you so the therapeutic code wasn't and will not again be broken.... I don't know your history I'm just guessing this is what it could be.

He hasn’t blocked me from there the last time I checked anyway.....but at the very beginning of therapy years ago I added my therapist on Facebook. I didn’t know they weren’t allowed to have connections to their clients like that. I felt sure he would accept my friend request (he didn’t of course). Annoyingly he didn’t bring it up in session so I asked him why...he said he had too much personal stuff on there.

That was when I realised that other people had real families and things that they wanted to hide from me. I am not connected to my family at all on Facebook so this wasn’t obvious to me. It felt horrible. But then I was glad because I really don’t want to see updates on how happy he is in his marriage etc, it would make me feel like such a loser and an outsider.

My t very rarely makes public posts on her Facebook page so there's not much to see but I have a look anyway just to feel connected to her. I've never told her because I'm afraid she might block me although given her personality I think it's more likely she would understand why I do it it. I won't take the risk though. I guess part of me feels really ashamed that I look.

Mine is not on Facebook (he told me he's not on any social media--well, LinkedIn, but that doesn't count). However, his wife is on Facebook, and she posted in a parenting group I'm in (I was in the group before I started seeing him and had no idea she was in it). I emailed him to let him know (in retrospect, I should have just not said anything). She left the group later that day. I felt bad that she had to leave the group because of me, and T said she didn't post in there much anyway, so it's OK.

I have no idea if she blocked me from her profile because that would likely require my T to give her my name, which would be a breach of confidentiality (I haven't tried to look at her page after reading that, on certain apps or browsers, there's a way for people to see who looked at their page--not sure if that's accurate or not). But I imagine if I told him I was looking at her page, he'd have figured out a way to have me blocked. (I admit I did read her past posts in that group before she left, but T said he understood that, because it was a group I was already in, I wasn't looking at her private page.)

I know it's painful, but I can understand why they do it if they use Facebook for a personal page, rather than a business one (I know some have business accounts, and that's different). They may not want clients to see the potentially messy details of their personal lives. Or if they knew clients could see, they might feel they need to censor what they post (say, avoiding anything political or controversial in any way). Also, your former T may just have a policy of blocking all clients, not just you.

The ethical code of conduct is pretty strict on that: therapists aren't encouraged to 'friend' clients on social media. This further blurs the boundaries between what is meant to be a professional (therapeutic) relationship vs. something more friend-like. Not even mentioning all the elements of transference (or counter-transference) etc. A therapist is not (meant to be) a client's friend.

My ex therpist dumped me before facebook was a thing. However, i had searched for her and she never came up. After ten years, there she was, and she had been on facebook for years and years. So i am wondering if she blocked me at first, and then unblocked me. I have not tried to contact her there. But it was nice to see her pictures.

The therapist I have now invited me to find her on facebook, for her professional page and her personal page. Her personal page has a “code name” so people cannot just look her up. So i can see both. She thought it would be helpful for me to have that connection to her inbetween sessions.

I guess I just feel kind of bad because in December she got her Covid vaccine yet never mentioned it to me. I saw it on her Facebook. I know I was in IOP at the time so maybe by the time I got out it was just old news to her. Plus I never asked either if she got it. Maybe she thought I’d just get upset that the therapists at her clinic were getting vaccinated but still were not opening up the practice.

My new therapist never mentioned getting her vaccine yet I don’t care that she hasn’t talked about it. My mom says I’m just having separation anxiety with the old T.

But I’m pretty bummed about her today.

I know my therapist is on facebook I don't plan on mentioning anything to her. It's againts the clinics policy to add clients on social media. I can understand that. I had to quickly get out of a local group my therapist had joined. I feel that would of caused some issues down the road. I sometimes look at her page and find comfort in doing so.

I doubt that my T is on Facebook. I wouldn't want to interact with her on social media, anyway. It would diminish my ability to be upfront with her during sessions.

I agree with what Beth said in that I have no desire to interact with any of my therapists, past or present, on social media. I typically look up therapists before my first appointment with them, but unless I see that they’ve posted publicly in the past, I don’t really see the need in going back. I like having the therapeutic relationship confined to a space, where I can enter and leave as needed. Yes, I know I’m fortunate that I’m able to see my T in person currently.

I am not on facebook. I was not all that interested in them.

I was never curious to know if my last therapist was on Facebook or not while I was seeing him; honestly, it didn't cross my mind to even think he would allow such interaction - he was very professional and had healthy boundaries.

We DO Facebook with each other now since I haven't been his client in a very, very long time. I actually Facebook with all three of my old therapists now, but this was something that started a few years ago I guess after running into them in various places and we exchanged information to stay in touch through Facebook. Lately, my last therapist has been keeping up with my husband's health crisis and occasionally pm's me just checking up on me; we've had more interaction in the last couple months than usual, and it has been reassuring to know we have his support if we need it.

I do know because I am now interacting with them on Facebook, that all three have a pretty limited friends list, and their pages are pretty locked down. I know them well enough to know none of them would have interacted with a client WHILE that person was still seeing them, and I get the distinct impression I am one of only a few former clients they interact with that way. I've never asked, but I am fairly certain if they saw a current client trying to interact with them on Facebook, they would block them simply because it is just not a professional interaction.

I completely agree with all of this. I had a therapist who was friends with me on social media and even has pictures still posted on it of her and i together when she used to come to my house to spend time together. It caused lots of issues seeing pics of her kids and vacations etc. She always had it public anyways. She posted some very personal stuff that anyone could see and she didn’t care but this is also the same person who developed a personal role with me so she could play “mom” before falling off the face of the earth. Now I know that social media and therapists don’t mix.

Sounds like she had bigger problems than just the social media!

OP—I'm not FB friends with my T but he has some public postings that I've looked at in the past and he knows that. I'm sure I would feel hurt if he blocked me. It would probably be good to talk to your new T about these feelings, she probably can't explain why it happened but she can explore your reaction to it with you.

She hasn't blocked me, but there are certainly some things which I am unable to see.

Both of my Ts have/had FB but the only thing I can see is their profile pictures. They are pretty open during our appointments so I really do not care to find information.

I couldn’t even send her a request she has that part blocked from everyone. I think her settings were that only friends of friends can send requests. I have that for my own Facebook. I wonder how much longer It will take me to get over this. I’ve gotten over other people and places before. Most people and places I got over a lot easier and quicker then her. But she’s been one of the hardest people for me to get over despite only being in my life for less than 2 years.

I don't know, I've never given her the opportunity as far as I know. She did tell me one time that during one of our breaks, she had looked me up on facebook because she was curious if i was still in town (i had previously been making noises about leaving h, which of course i did not do) "but there was nothing there". I was like yeah, that's cuz i have my privacy settings to post to friends only. and you're not my friend so there. (actually i didn't say that last part even though I wanted to haha)

It may take some time to get over it. You're moving, right? And that's why you changed T's? I'm wondering if that might make it easier, once you're in a new location. Though I suppose it could also make it harder maybe?

That’s what my mom says. That the more I work with the new T things will get easier and once I am actually moved everything will be easier. It’s just anticipatory anxiety right now she says. I’m not sure if that’s necessarily true but at Thanksgiving I was very happy at my sisters. Not driving by her office everyday I go out will also be a tremendous help.

She didn’t like it when I went to a store near her house. I stopped going. I knew about the store before I was seeing her. Maybe she’s just super paranoid about her clients knowing her personal life.

I find it a bit odd if a T goes around social media to find their clients just to block them if there were no social media related conflict. Like why bother to do that? I understand if a client tells a T they keep looking and it causes harm to either party somehow but otherwise it makes no sense to me.

I befriended mine after therapy.