Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

It's funny but I could picture this!

"Get off my lawn."

I have a new favorite thing thing to dehydrate - strawberries. They are delicious dehydrated. The dogs love them too. I am not a gardener but I have friends who will bring me a couple of buckets of theirs and I am looking forward to adding dehydrated strawberries to my usual list of things to do with them

Hi guys. I asked old T if I could come back and have therapy with her (we ended because of her MS but she is working again) but she told me no. That I need to keep working with current T. I'm so hurt. I have an internal locus of control so I am blaming myself of course. I tried to process it with current T but it didn't go so well. I don't really think current T got my distress.

Cheese = Always YES

Dried strawberries are my youngest son's favorite thing ever. I dehydrated an entire flat last summer. For his birthday I gave him an entire jar of his own. Totally worth it for the look on his face.


They're really good in oatmeal.

Good to hear. Yesterday i ordered a variety of dried berries for my covid bunker.

I like how we cover the gamut!

Hugs, Kit. I replied in your thread.

So I was just searching my insurance website and had completely forgotten about the thing with EAP that offers 5 free sessions with one of their counselors. Maybe I can utilize that to consult about L. I think I'll give it a shot, filling out the request for authorization now. I kinda feel like I'm sneaking around behind her back but I suppose I'll get over it.

Aren’t therapists you see through an EAP mainly there for workplace issues (like conflicts with other employees) or for issues that might affect work (drug addiction, marital problems)? I genuinely don’t know—that’s what I’ve always assumed, though.

Actually, it sounds like it's for pretty much anything people need support for and family members can use it too. Just from what I'm reading. They may have expanded things because of covid and stuff. And if you use the phone support thing you don't even have to give your name.

Eh, maybe it's a dumb idea anyway. I should just go the normal route and find someone that takes my insurance and pay for a session.

wow, they also provide 2 free 60-minute calls with a money coach if you need financial help. Now I'm sure they've expanded things since covid started, I don't remember seeing that before.

So out of curiosity, art, do you see what you did there? I asked a question out of curiosity, you answered it just fine, then you talked your plan and yourself down as a “dumb idea.”

Where did that come from? Why talk yourself down? It’s a perfectly fine idea and you should give it a try. It might not pan out, but most ideas don’t.

(Not said critically at all.)

Time to go do my evening set of exercises for physical therapy. I go back to the PT place on Thursday morning (cuz I took that day off work). Later couch.

Thank you for catching that, I mean that, I actually saw it too, after I submitted it. That's been like the main thing we've been talking about lately in therapy because I have been noticing myself saying things like that all over the place these days. I think it comes from the same place saying "I don't know" after so many things I say comes from.

I never used to notice it. L started pointing out how often I say "I don't know" so I'm noticing that more, and by extension I guess I'm noticing other stuff. It's that autonomous complex thing, maybe?

ok now i'm off to do my shoulder exercises.

The cardiologist’s office my PCP referred me to is badgering me by phone and now mail. They’re either obnoxious or desperate for business. Either way it’s a turnoff.

Call me once and let me decide if I’m getting back to you.

I agree - I hate it when it seems like they are hounding you to make an appointment with them.

I am glad the cdc is now telling people to stop with the pointless sterilization of everything with lysol and bleach

EAP is for anything. It does not have to be related to work at all. It can be depression or anxiety or relationship problems or parenting issues or anything. Those issues intrude into your mind during work hours and make you less efficient and less effective as an employee, so it's to the company's benefit to help you get them addressed.

Sent from my SM-G981U using Tapatalk

Late as usual. Surface transmission has been suspect for almost a year now.

I know - but now maybe people will pay attention. And stop the stupid temp checks as well. They don't do or mean anything.
I hate pointless theater

I'm writing some really sad poetry for this years poem-a-day challenge, go figure. Well, at least today's effort didn't leave me in tears like yesterday's did, I suppose that's a positive anyway. I made myself ugly-cry yesterday with what I wrote.

My mom is still doing that in her garage - wears gloves and wipes everything down with lysol wipes when my sister brings her groceries before anything comes in her house.

Yet, she won't get the vaccine.
(eta I shouldn't judge. I suppose she has her reasons.)

Hugs. Will update.

So far today is utterly bad.

I'm Triggered. Sometimes I write stuff about grief, loss of my family, stuff I'm having a hard time with etc on my Instagram. I'm having a very very very difficult time right now.

A friend of mine tends to jump in with her experiences as a way to relate. On 99% of my posts, and sometimes she'll DM too. Not a single word about the pain I am expressing, just all about her.

She's autistic and that's her way of showing empathy, it's not anything malicious, and I don't hold it against her. I don't consider her as lacking empathy.

Hoeever, sometimes, like today... because some very painful unresolved stuff of mine is coming up...I get upset because it feels like she's turning the spotlight on herself.

It's not deliberate I know, and usually I'm more than capable of understanding it etc. Just not really today. I feel like I have to take care of her. That she's jumping in to make it about herself etc and then pressure me to comfort her.

I'll recalibrate. Right now I recognise it touches into my wounds. I'll be ok & if needed I will talk to her.

I just want to voice it out here because I'm sure some of us are caregiver-type where sometimes friends assume we never have a hard time.

And because people here have always been kind to me.

I don't see the problem artie bean. If you're entitled to 5 free sessions why not take them up?