Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

If you like that guy, you might like this guy too. He also does historical cooking.

Townsends - YouTube

It's probably not a good time for me to bring up my biennial mention of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919 in Boston...turns out, molasses can move quite quickly when it's under pressure.

And speaking of pressure, I really need to do some SIM card shopping. Really really need to.

Crap crap crap crap crap


I told my BF a messed-up thing about my childhood* and now I'm freaking out.


We were ever-so-slightly drunk and giggly because we'd taken an online beer tasting class and had about a bottle of beer each (which is more than either of us usually drink). And we were hanging out in bed, laughing about how we had completely opposite childhoods when it came to sex ed (he grew up in the Middle East and I grew up in a super liberal part of the US). I mentioned the messed-up thing and he said, "what?! That's awful! That must have been traumatic," and put his arms around me. And I had been laughing, but him saying that sort of brought me to the awfulness of it (and also the awfulness of other messed up stuff that happened) and all of a sudden it wasn't funny anymore. And he was falling asleep and I kept my head buried in his chest and felt like crying and I both wanted him to notice and didn't want him to notice because I didn't want to be alone with it but also I didn't want to contaminate him with my messed-up-ness or make him have to deal with my big trauma feelings when he was just trying to fall asleep, the poor bastard. And I was sort of snuffling into his shoulder and he woke up and said, "what's wrong? Are you crying?" And he sleepily put his hands on my face and tilted my head so I would look him in the eye. And I said, "I just got stuck thinking about some bad things." And he put his arms around me and said, "try not to think about the bad things, please, babe" and drifted off again.


I shouldn't have told him. We've only been together for four months; wtf was I thinking?


Moreover, I hate how ambivalent I am about talking about it because it is so effing BPD to be like, "I just dropped this tuth-bomb but no wait now I can't tell you any more about it nevermind but I also can't stop having big feelings about it so now I'm just messed up and sad but can't talk about it or get over it I'm just stuck and now you're stuck with a girlfriend who is in no-fun-trauma-mode."


I hate myself so much right now.

I’m determined to finish my NaNoWrimo novel this month — I got up to 33k words in November but then I had a solid week of work and fell off the wagon. I want to get to 50k by the end of the month (during which I do not have any shifts scheduled!) so it should be totally doable.

The issue is that in order to finish, I have to go back and re-read what I’ve already written... which is sort of embarrassing and sometimes just plain bad. But I’m going to give it a shot, and try to get 1k words in today!

Personally, I am glad no one told Stephen King. I love his "big books" and when the complete and uncut version of The Stand came out, I was thrilled!!

I prefer the second draft and beyond editing. Crafting each sentence to be precise and concise. I am a fan of brevity. I hate the plot part.

I prefer the second draft and beyond editing. Crafting each sentence to be precise and concise. I am a fan of brevity. I hate the plot part.

Early in the pandemic I read "It." It should not take 900 pages to fight the clown.


.....

I enjoy that too. For grad school there was one class where we had to write a 150 page paper, you could use a partner, or up to four people. I did it with a partner who had a similar writing style and we edited and edited and edited and edited that thing. Got a pretty high A on it as well.

But I remember one bizarre teacher in Grad school that insisted each sentence have 7 words and each paragraph 4 sentences. It was bizarre. I was like, "What?" I don't remember what class she taught but I got an A in it. I just had to be very careful with my wording and say exactly what I meant in seven words per sentence.

7 words per sentence, 4 sentence paragraphs? I would totally fail at that, probably. I can imagine it was not easy. Feels weird to do it even once.

But I remember one bizarre teacher in Grad school that insisted each sentence have 7 words and each paragraph 4 sentences. It was bizarre. I was like, "What?" I don't remember what class she taught but I got an A in it. I just had to be very careful with my wording and say exactly what I meant in seven words per sentence.

I see the value of the exercise, but I think it’d be hard for someone like you who has a good imagination.

I wonder if she changed it ever? Like one semester it was 7 words, 4 sentences, and the next it was 8 words, 3 sentences?

Yes, I actually read the syllabus.