Couch 227 - The Safe Couch

I'm so glad you got to see your nieces and that you had a good time! Sounds like you had fun.

HUGS Artie

Update on cyst:

Yesterday I tripped over an extension cord that was on the floor and it didn't give at all. It was immediately painful like I'd stubbed my toe. It was aching a bit last night and today it's mildly swollen and hurts to touch and there's limited range of motion in my big toe. I'm wondering if I should go get it checked out or just leave it alone and it'll heal on its own.

Looks like I'm going to get a case manager for a few months. Case manager/care coordinator. Something like that. I had one last year for about 5 or 6 months and it was helpful. I'm hoping this will be good too.

I remember that, Kit. I'm glad you found the last one helpful, and hope this one will be just as good.

Thank you Lost!

My ex will be here soon and i really wanted to look like i had everything under control, well i do but he always points out things that dont really matter to me and makes it look like i cant cope, anyway the cats went wild last night and knocked things over and spread things all over the floor and now i just feel defeated. I want the next 24 hours over with.

I like the info report because in the 9 years i saw my T i think he basically just wore 2 pairs casual pants and plain white button down shirts, but i only saw him twice a month so he could have other clothes.

Hope you find the case manager helpful Kit

My ex is taking my daughter out for the day. We will see how long that is.

I’ve seen individual items twice or more, but never a single outfit twice.

Maybe she’s like royalty, has a staffer writing down when she last wore each item and with what she accessorized it.

Or maybe I am oddly obsessed with her bespoke couture.

I am impressed that you notice what the therapist is wearing. I have absolutely no idea what the woman wore ever - or if she repeated any clothes or not. The closest I have is that the other person I knew who hired her made reference to the woman wearing fishnet stockings - at this point I can't remember if I witnessed it myself or not.

Info kind of makes one notice her. Which I guess is the goal.

Now my nose is all blocked up and i am feeling a bit flu-ey

maybe she has a computerized closet like Cher did in the movie Clueless and it won't let her repeat outfits haha

I have a gf who is a librarian who has her closet on index cards.

Eta - is bespoke a fancy word for street pickins?

I am glad info doesn't feel the need to conform to sartorial norms/expectations.

I like the Info Fashion Reports too. I can never remember what my therapist wears.

My daughters friends are being mean as they are not happy that i invited an old friend of my daughters not realising that she dated one of the other friends and now i dont know if anyone is turning up. The old friend has already cancelled.

The ex isnt too bad atm

You bring up an interesting point. Do you think she is at all willful in devising these confluations?

Eta - did you see, new alison bechdel book out v soon.

My private takeaway regarding Info Fashion Report has been "who says you have to reach a certain age to throw out societal norms? Go on, rock the clothing "

In my (East Asian) culture, women can be really harsh on how you look and dress. I've gotten people literally telling me I'm "disgusting" for having leg hair and struggling with cystic acne. There's all sorts of pressure, even to have "perfect" eyebrows, fair skin (I got weird looks when I stated I don't need or want skin whitening products), a certain kind of frame, pin straight hair (I have wavy, I get pressure to chemical treat it to straight).

So I like how she doesn't care what people think.

At some point, I swapped out the jeans / long pants for shorts because I finallyyyyyy felt OK to show legs and leg hair in social gatherings and therapy. Took me YEARS.

Okay, so you are going to make me actually THINK about it! I would prefer a more neutral presence in MY therapy space. I dont need my t's issues with femininity on display in every session, i have PLENTY enough of my own. Plus it's a mother-father thing for me - dad had taste, mother had none, so it grates on me there. I judge her as less than.

So yeah maybe this is like CE's t's "nonperforming hair". Or remember the NEW YORKER issue with the various t's offices?

I dont understand the reason behind her choices and i dont want to be confronted or affronted with them! Is she saying to revel in your poor choices? As long as you are out there MAKING choices? Still, the bright colors hurt my eyes.

You don't have to understand the reason behind her choices. There is no basis to conclude someone who doesn't dress the way you approve of is having issues with their femininity. A woman gets to do what she likes with her body/clothing and she doesn't need to justify it to anyone.Women's bodies are not there for anyone else and it doesn't matter if someone else approves or disapproves. No woman needs to dress to please anyone else - not men or other women. If someone is affronted by another's clothing -then it is on the affronted person to get a grip. This is something I feel very strongly about (I really don't feel all that strongly about 95% of things).