Sadness and grief after I left my counsellor

So a couple of weeks ago I ended my contact with my counselor of two years. I don´t regret it as I acted from how I felt in our last meeting and from how I´ve felt almost from the beginning when seeing her.

But it´s still sad and today when something positive happened I for a second got the thought "I´ll tell my counselor next time" but instantly I of course remembered I won´t see her again.

Even if she acted the way she did I feel a little bit sorry for her, not much but still. It´s not that I plan to call her or anything, it´s just in my thoughts. I don´t miss her as I did with my counselor in church who left me in 2019. But not everything was bad with this last counselor and by that I miss parts of our time together.

I hadn´t want to stay with her just to be prepared to be suddenly cut off from the facility, it had been much worse to see her not knowing if next session will be the one when she tells me they have decided I won´t be a patient at their facility any longer. I much rather get that message by letter or by phone as they won´t be able to make anything better.

It though hurts it all ended in this abrupt way and I think my counselor should have acted differently, already when I brought up things I was disappointed about. She never did that, I assume she just got irritated even if she didn´t show that much irritation directly towards me.

Even if I knew it wouldn´t be likely that my counselor would contact me after I cancelled my session and told her I don´t want to see her anymore I still had some little hope that she´d just send me a little text or something. It´s all so sad.

I really wonders what she thinks, perhaps she just forgets about me or think negatively about me.

Hi Sarah, I can identify with how you feel as I also feel intense sadness over the loss of the T I had been seeing for two years, and who I also chose to stop seeing. I’ve also had the experience of thinking that I would like to tell her something, but Knowing that I can’t. I also wonder what she thought when I stopped seeing her, and kind of assumed that she probably had some negative thoughts about me. I found the therapy experience so painful I try to not think about it, and when I realise I am, I try to block the thoughts by replacing the thought with the word hedgehog. It seems to help. Sometimes I slip and allow myself to think about it again, as I’m feeling better about it, but then painful feelings come up again. I’m also saying to myself ‘don’t expect to feel any different right now’. That seems to help.

Thanks for your support. I´m sorry your going through a similar situation, this is not how it should be when someone needs care!

Why did you stop seeing your therapist? You said it was painful, I guess your therapist did something that made you feel that way?

I´m now constantly worrying about if I´ll be cut off from the facility or not. For me it´s not only about getting another counselor but also in some way get a doctor to sign my sick leave. If they cut me off from the facility I also lose contact with my doctor.


I´ve tried to get them to act in some way and I contacted their reception staff and asked them to send a message to their coordinator who allocate patients and who chooses whom the patient gets to see. This was yesterday so I´ll have to wait some more, again.