Couch 228--The Wellness Couch

Random:
AbusivePDoc died just a few months ago.

I used to google him fairly often to see what he was up to since his multi-state license revocation.
Found him on a couple of tele-health sites still using ‘M.D.’ by his name. Turned him in. The sites deleted him.
Found him being a guardian ad litem for a disabled woman. I contacted the woman’s listed attorney- just to send them his revocation information. Not sure if it made any difference or not. If there was something to gain out of the relationship with the disabled woman, I'm betting he tried to find it.

Now that he’s passed, I feel a small sense of relief.
I don't feel I have to continue to check up on him.
The sense of relief is the most positive feeling I’ve had about this situation in a long time.

I agree with what you're saying, ATAT. I think what's difficult about Dr. T is that he *was* comfortable with returning to in-person sessions last month, but then he read the APA guidance. I understand that maybe it's that he's more comfortable following the guidance vs. what he feels. But it's also difficult for me knowing that he'll be traveling at some point in July (not sure what mode of transportation--I mean, maybe they're just driving and like staying in a cabin or with other vaccinated people), but also isn't willing to meet in person, even though we're both vaccinated. I fear APA will be all "let's be as careful as possible" and say masks are recommended for, say, the next year for T's meeting in person. And my T is all "Oh, a mask strains my voice too much because I talk louder with it" (he told me that--I am not exaggerating) so won't meet in person without one. Which is frustrating... I mean, I just got a mammogram today wearing a mask.

This is something you can learn, like anything else it just takes baby steps! Try maybe 30 mins at a time or you can start even lower.

Ooooh I'll have a google later.

It strains his voice? Sometimes your therapist makes me appreciate Info.

I mean, if he said my kid’s too young to be vaccinated (is he?) and I want to be safe, sure. But his vocal cords? Stopdog can recommend a nice gargle.

It could be a scheduling issue and not directly related to covid restrictions. Bands are probably trying to reschedule a bunch of missed concerts and venues are probably as well. It sucks that you have to wait a whole extra year to see them perform though. Hopefully some other act you want to see will come soon. I know how much you love music.

That's annoying. Strains his voice? Seriously? Thankfully P hasn't ever brought up APA guidance and is apparently just doing what he's comfortable with. I hope he goes back to in-person soon.

LOL to the gargle. Yeah...no, it's the voice thing. Which I feel like makes him a rather special snowflake? His son is 13 or 14, so he'd be eligible for Pfizer now, and I get the sense they're vaccinating him.


For me, some of my "do I feel comfortable eating inside" decisions are based around the slight possibility that I could still catch COVID and pass it on to my D, who is 10 and not eligible for vaccination. But I also contemplated eating inside at a place I went to today, as it was dead empty, but it was also nice outside, so I opted for that.

Or a leech!

Have you been able to tell him how much this is really affecting you- with the changing goal posts? First his wife's vaccination now the recommendation.

I actually laughed when I read the strained voice thing, but deleted it because I thought maybe it was just me being mean.

Does he wear the N95 ones? Could he try something thinner ?

LT, maybe your Dr T has a bunch of anti-vaxxer clients. So its not about you, but it is about them. Altho i can see about the mask muffling his voice too. I could barely hear my dentist and the assistant and they were practically sitting on my head.

What puzzles me is this: like the concert being postponed again. Its like you take a broader mandate very personally. I mean, its not like the music group knows you. But it feels like the same thing as Dr T saying no in person sessions. And even THAT seems extremely personal, instead of like you are in the same boat as billions of other people.

Like you are rushing to the front of the line. What is your hurry? Just, what is that about? Getting back to normal? Being at the forefront of creating a new normal? Cuz im like, i dont want anybody putting any NEW cooties on me until we got THIS one figured out. Im very cautious. But i feel like youre out there singing "Come to the Cabaret!" Usually i tell people to "leap and the net will appear", but i wanna hold you back here!

Dr. T has said he would only see vaccinated clients in person. So it's not about that. I'm not pushing to the front of the line--in fact, he's said other clients are really pushing him for in-person, and I'm not one of them (like, I asked recently, "Am I one you consider to be pushing?" and he said that I wasn't).


Part of it is my wanting a regular reason to be out of my house. To have a place where I can deal with reintegrating into the world, where I can get real-time therapy to help with that. If he was also planning on seeing unvaccinated clients in person, I would feel much less comfortable about it. I figured he could help me to dip a toe in the water of being somewhat back to normal. I'm not pushing for anything. In my state, they're allowing for people to be unmasked in stores, restaurants, etc. no matter their vaccination status. And rates are quite low in my area (like, my county is currently below 1% positive test rate, and the cases per 100,000 are what CDC considers in the green range).

I told him fairly recently, like a month ago maybe? I feel sort of guilty about bringing it up again. Especially because he was there to support me in the evening a few weeks ago. Like I feel it isn't fair for me to ask more of him now, when he gave more than I'd expected then. But maybe it's also my fear of avoiding a conflict? So I think I need to mention it again tomorrow...

I kind of understand about the strained voice in a mask thing - it happened to me too when teaching. And so hard to take a drink of anything with the mask on - I even tried using a metal straw but it would get caught under the mask or I would poke myself with it (that did provide amusement for the students - they probably were playing bingo or something with the poking and choking I was doing).
Do NOT gargle with leeches - bad plan.

LT, there is no world to re-integrate into yet. We are in a state of flux.

I didnt mean the front of the line just with Dr T, i meant with the world in general.

I feel like I'm waaaaaaaaaay back here, around the block a couple of times from the front of the movie theater. I wasnt even GOING to the movies, but youve been camping out overnight waiting for the doors to open.

Or like, we've been on Noah's Ark. It's gonna be DIFFERENT out there now.

Anybody getting what im saying? Or is my brain being deprived of oxygen again?

I guess the idea of reintegrating into the world is foreign to me, because I never really felt un-integrated from it. Things just changed.

Rad idea: find an interim therapist to help with that one issue—I bet a lot of clients are experiencing that—who is seeing clients in person. Your therapist can hardly object to that.

ETA: I think I understand what una is saying. Also I can see her little gray head several blocks back, yelling about leeches.

Thanks, that's a good idea. From a search I did a few days ago, seems like most T's in my area (including a couple I'd contacted in the past) are still virtual. I suppose this is one situation where living in an liberal area is a negative?

My ex-T is in person, but my current T, Dr. K is virtual. It doesn't bother me much. Since I have never seen him in person I don't have anything to compare it to. It's a little weird because I've never seen his office or anything so there's less of a secure feeling when I log in to see him (Doxy.me) but mostly it's good.

Ex-T wears a mask though as do the clients.

Going to stay at the Disneyland Hotel when we go to Disney in July!

It's hella expensive, but you know, you only live once! I wanted to stay at the Grand Californian but it was like a grand a night! Yeah, I'll take Disneyland Hotel. It was still expensive but at least I can relax knowing that it's not a grand.

I didn't have any un-integratedness either. There were some shifts but basically I am the same.

And on the ETA - that is scary if you do

So peanut butter + shortbread = eh.

The problem is the shortbread is gluten free and therefore dry and crumbly (so dunking is out).

Could you mush them together (as you seem intent on mixing the two) and make a sort of cookie butter?