Couch 233: Nothing’s Ghana Stop Us Now

Hugs, Polibeth. Glad the test was negative and hope you feel better soon.

Which is why she’s been making me get up and physically change the channel for her.

Havent i been showing my appreciation?

Man, i just had the scariest nosebleed! I was stuffing kleenex up there, and it felt like every time i pulled it out, it started fresh cuz it got stuck? So i switched to paper towels and called dr on demand, but by the time they REJECTED MY INSURANCE (wtf) it felt like it had stopped. Brawny to the rescue. Usually im a Puffs girl. Now we know why.

Is Brawny/Puffs a butch/femme analogy?

Hope you feel better soon, Polibeth.


You too, Una! Yikes! Glad it stopped.

Here's tonight's hat, haha it wasn't supposed to be a bucket hat but that's what it accidentally turned into. I figured out what I did wrong on the part I was playing around with design, so I think tomorrow evening I'll re-make it the way I actually envisioned it.

Winter and after the procedure I had - I had some bad nosebleeds when I got home.
I think dry air combined with blood thinner stuff to keep clots away was the problem -but as I was on opiates as well - It didn't really worry me. I was pretty mellow. Opiates have their place.

PSA - trader joe's eggnog yogurt is over nutmegged.

If she is a puffs girl -you must be the brawn

Had a dream last night that I had a teletherapy session with a new female T. At the end of session, she said she wanted to do a summary. She said, "So you need a new kidney, and much of your focus is on that." I held up my hand like "stop" and said, "What are you talking about?" Dream T: "You don't need a new kidney?" Me: "Not that I'm aware of." Dream T: "Oh."

So, I would not recommend that T.

Oh no, LT...Dream T needs to be more careful.

Thats why shes been getting up to change the channel.

Ahem - now who's the one seeing everything in a freudian hue? Oh geez - its me, idnt it? Even picking my paper products by their cis names.

Our Christmas tree!

Pretty tree, Scarlet!

Exactly what I was going to say.

I don’t like Puffs fwiw. Too soft.

I read that as "I had a telepathy session" at first!

That's a pretty tree, Scarlet! Love the snowflake ornaments.

So I know I'm supposed to be working and I was but - sitting there answering a message I had this freaking huge aha moment about food and why I got so overweight - right out of a clear blue sky, like forrest gump would say - I don't know if I can even get it into words but I'll try. Growing up, food (like everything else) was very controlled and bla bla bla I didn't get the love/affection from my parents that I needed/wanted, my feelings were punished rather than accepted that's all old news and I'm over it but what the aha moment was - was that we did eat dinner around the kitchen table every night and apparently I began equating food/being fed with feeling cared about (ie they must love me because they feed me even if they don't show it and they hate my feelings) so in a very real sense food became love. slowly and gradually through therapy I learned to love myself and lost some of the excess weight in 2018 (that sadly I gained back 2/3's of after surgery in 2019) but again so very gradually I learned that I was even worth taking care of and made the decision in July of this year to be accountable to myself, to take care of myself, and since then I've lost back what I had regained plus another 10 lbs and I'm taking care of myself in other ways - by eating healthy foods and walking/swimming and maintaining my shamanic practices. Whew. I don't know if any of that makes sense but it feels just huge to me.

Now I have that Allstate commercial in my head "you got the brawn, i got the brains, lets make lots of money" haha

I object to the implication that ex-hankster has the brains in our relationship.

Great Pet Shop Boys song! (I knew the song before the commercial came out--was afraid the commercial would ruin it for me, but not yet!)

Artie, that seems like some really good insight, about food and its meaning to you.

Oops! No implications meant in either direction. Just heard the song in my head, was all.

Thanks LT it felt like a biggie when it hit. I figured if I put it here it wouldn't get lost in a random word doc on my computer!

In awkward things I've said to Dr. T:
At the end of session, we were scheduling for next week, and I was asking about his scheduling around Christmas/New Year's. He will be in the office a few days the week before and the week after, which I was relieved about (he'll be away for like 5 days).

He added that he was going to be away for a full week at the end of January. Me: "Oh, so you'll probably be away for my birthday then! [realizing it probably sounds odd that I'd want to see him on my birthday]...Sorry I'm such a weirdo!" (said in a very light tone). He just looked amused.

ETA: I did say, too, that I would have completely understood if he were taking more time at Christmas, and he said I'm always understanding of that, and he appreciates it.

You have the PhD, so i think that solves that argument. But im the comedian.