Couch 235: Home State Advantage

Well that means I have no choice but to be the one to eat cake. It's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it.

Thank you, Lost.

I mentioned this to a friend and possibly suggested I'm having a big of delusional thinking which I am prone to do especially when it comes to contamination. I feel like if I tell someone something bad I could contaminate them with that information and stuff. It's very confusing for me at times. I'm hoping Julieanne can sort it out for me tomorrow when we have our T appointment. I had a therapist for a while who was really good at these sorts of thoughts but she very annoyingly always said, "It doesn't work like that" but never explained why not or how come. So I am open to the possibility that I am having some paranoia or delusional thinking but I'm not sure and it sort of scares me. And it makes me feel like I'm bad and deserve punishment which is also scary for me. That is why I contracted with my T. She hasn't got back to me but I know she will when she is done with clients or whatever it is she does on Mondays. Hopefully my mind can sort out and not be so confused. Thanks for your response. I appreciate it.

I will join you if it's gluten-free.

LT, there's a reason nobody remembers Louis XVI's response to Marie Antoinette, Qu'ils mangent de la risotto, "let them eat risotto."

Big hugs, Kit. I agree that you are not responsible for it and I'm glad you reached out to Julieanne.

Just had a scare with a client. I love when those happen at the end of the day just in case you were planning on sleeping.

Luckily seem to have figured it out. Well, the problem is still there but the more important part, that it's not my fault or my company's fault, was figured out to my satisfaction. Everything else can be fixed. And hopefully I didn't cram the truth down my client's throat.

Also I finished putting in my hours. What a relief.

Now I have to go clean the counters so I can send pictures.

Info's retirement got me thinking of an old short story I started, a satire on therapists ("A Good Therapist Is Hard to Find"), years ago. I've been fiddling with it tonight.

If the premise is a good therapist is hard to find, what should the plot be, do you think? What's the story arc? That's my sticking point.

Enjoy the cake on my behalf. It it your civic duty! Or some sort of duty.

I agree with this 100%.

Kit, it's not your fault. Think of it this way, if you think you have that much control over her life in some way, you are taking away from her experiences, what has caused her her depression. Instead of looking for who is to blame, reach out to her as a friend who also experiences mental health issues. I bet your experiences are way different, and yet you both have this common ground. Be her support.

@@ I think I'd probably go through all the common therapist neuroses and hypocrisies (hypocrisys? Nothing looks right...). I would find that amusing, anyway. I don't know about a particular storyline or arc. I need a creativity transplant.

Or maybe you should talk about where to meet a good therapist, how to keep her once you've found her, how to make her commit, how to break up when your therapist just isn't working, etc.

ETA - I knew a psychologist who did a program with the theme of a good man not being hard to find. She recommended going to country clubs iirc.

Country clubs? Did she define good as rich and golf-playing?

Oh, here’s a LOLInfo moment. So today I finally got an accommodation that was never done last semester, live captioning for faculty senate meetings (they just...didn’t do it). Nice, I guess, but I can’t really be pleased about it. I was in shock when they failed to do it. Then I was angry. I sh’d over it. I had to complain to a bunch of people to get them to do it. So the message to my eyes is, you’re not worth it unless someone forces us to do your legal responsibility. The best I can do is MEH. Feels like a Pyrrhic victory.

Last week Info had asked me to let her know if they did it. So I emailed her, and said most of the above. Her response? “YEAH!! You made it happen! Time to celebrate!”

Did nothing I said register with her? I was very clear I was not in a celebratory place.

I know she didn’t mean any harm, but what a way to miss the point.

Fortunately that’s probably our last email exchange.

ETA: actually it’s not that funny at all. I’d appreciate some support.

Happy Birthday, LT!! Mine is on Friday!

My T LIKES to bring up when my birthday is coming up. And I knew her birthday was in January, but we happened to have a session on her birthday and she fake-guilted me into not doing something because it would ruin her birthday. lol, she was joking though. (it did work, though)

Edit: I said the word 'birthday' a lot. Sorry!

Aww, Kit. It is absolutely NOT your fault. You did not contaminate her with your illness. *hugs if wanted*

Okay--SO, to make a longggg story short, I am getting a new car on Saturday, though I have to drive 8.5 hours to my home state to get it. My car I have now has been rattling for a couple of weeks, so it has made me nervous to drive it that far. Then this morning, the check engine light came on, so I took it in.

Well, the catalytic converter is shot, and there is a leak in the exhaust pipe, and all of it would cost $1900 to fix. Nope. But, the mechanic was like "There is no way you should drive your car to <insert state>."

I was going to trade in this car, and put that money towards a down payment (most of the down payment), and now am screwed. I've rented a car to drive up on Friday, but have to sell it here?

Anyone have any advice on selling a broken car? Will a dealership or something take it? I clearly do not expect to get much money out of it. Also, it has to be done by Thursday night, bc I need the license plates to transfer to my new car.

This is a NIGHTMARE. I've had such problems this month getting the car ready to sell; I won't even go there!

Oddly enough, our therapists have the same birthday. I wondered for a bit if you saw my therapist, but we live in different states so that would be a heck of a commute for you.

Also I know very little about car stuff, but here is what the internet says: Best Ways to Sell a Car That's Not Running.

Do you have a local mechanic that you trust? They might have ideas too.

I do know that used car prices are historically bonkers right now, so maybe fixing and then selling is not a completely irrational choice depending on the year/model/condition.

I do think her definition of rich included wealth. Which may have been reasonable for her personally given her income and appearance but seems like bad general advice.

What an airhead. I'm sorry she responded in such an inappropriate way.

Oh right, I think you’ve mentioned that before. How funny!
Yeah it is too expensive to fix, probably more than the car is worth. This is so so stressful. I wish I could talk to my T tomorrow about this, but have to wait until Wednesday

If you don't think you'll get much cash out of selling it, you could always donate it to one of those charities that takes cars. Your plates would be free to transfer, you'd get a charitable tax deduction, and you wouldn't have to go through the stress of trying to sell a car that needs repairs. Another idea would be to sell it for scrap. I've never done that but you'd get some cash out of it at least.

those are also great ideas, thanks NP. I do have an appt on wed w carmax and i’m going to see what they say. then depending on how that goes, we’ll check out the other options

ATAT - I think it is good you are moving on

Ironic that shes tone-deaf? But we already knew that the only taste she has is in her mouth.

ATAT, you are doing service by serving on the cursed (accent on the second syllable) Faculty Senate in the first place, and they choose not to put accommodations in for you? That is inexcusable.

I agree: why celebrate the fact that your employer has finally--after months of delay and open refusal, making you fight for it and branding you as 'a problem*'--provided the accommodation that it had within its power to provide and was legally and ethically obligated to provide from day one?

*I cannot recall if they labeled you "a problem" or "difficult." I believe it's the former. The latter is the kiss of death on your medical chart, but this is a different situation.

Ficc the patriarchy.

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@@, I'm sorry that Info didn't respond more appropriately to your email. Especially since she asked you to let her know, you'd think she'd have paid more attention to what you said. Hugs if wanted.

I've really gotten myself into a funk over a lot of "it's just life, Artie, get over it" kinds of stuff. Including the L thing. As she would tell me "You're really in the soup right now". I don't know how to get myself out of it. I've been making myself go for walks every day (and making myself are the operative words). Maybe I just need another little vacation after our mandatory overtime is done. We have 2 more weeks of it (for now), hopefully they don't continue it longer than that. It picked me up a little talking to my sister yesterday but I'm feeling down again this morning. Boo. Oh well, back to work.