Couch 236: NY PS Langston Hughes

It really was lovely. I got a lot out of it last night. It is nice how this type of thing works pretty darn well over zoom if you open yourself to it! The good thing about a first time being online, is that you can just leave if you're uncomfortable and there's no anybody asking you where you're going or feeling weird getting up and leaving a physical space. And if you decide to go back again to an online one, and anyone asks, you can just say your internet went out

I remember - the first drumming group I hung out with, I was a member of the meetup group for like a full year before i got up the nerve to go to my first circle with them. It would not have taken me near that long if they'd been online too then.

Maybe we need a "random things my t said" thread!

I'm sorry your h made that comment about your d and that it was hurtful to you. I can understand why it would be. I hope he was joking more than anything else, but even still hopefully he won't do it again.

Thanks, Artie. I imagine he didn't realize it was hurtful. I was saying to Dr. T today that I just want to get the sense that H is feeling empathy for D for what she's dealing with, rather than just annoyance (when she's doing things like screaming, asking the same question a bunch of times, etc.). Like I get the feeling annoyance, but to feel the empathy at the same time.


And also, that is a good idea for a thread, "Random Things My T Said."

Good to know you weren't aware of the egg thing either and haven't personally had issues! I was truly puzzled by that.

Also, I admit that I only knew she was an actress known for being particularly dramatic, so I googled her after making this post!

Thanks for the kind words and for understanding and sorry you dealt with that from your mother, too. That's a good way of describing it, that it's basically "I don't understand you and don't want to deal with your feelings." For me, the lesson I learned was that I should keep any of those negative feelings inside, and I don't want D to learn the same lesson. I mean, she shouldn't act them out by screaming in class or, say, drawing on another kid (like she did recently), but completely bottling them up isn't helpful either. I want her to learn how to identify them and express them more productively, which is going to be extra difficult with the autism (and I imagine I'll need professional help for that). But I also don't want to give her the message that "any negative feelings are bad."

that's one reason I was glad that h and i already had pretty much everything in place when we were getting ready to move from MO to CA - when at pretty much the last minute before the move, I found out I was pregnant with our son. H said we could cancel the move and stay if that was what I wanted, but it wasn't. I knew that I didn't want my son growing up around my mom all the time and learning that feelings are bad like I did growing up.

I saw Visa and the acupuncturist yesterday.

Visa was fine, though she informed me she thought our first session was difficult (I told her I almost walked out on her because she got so impatient repeating herself when I didn't hear her). Why was it difficult, I asked. Apparently because a) I was upset (I was) and b) she didn't think I liked her (I didn't have an opinion one way or the other). Does she really think about b?

Acupuncture was, I don't know, interesting. It had an immediate effect (thoughts slowed way down), which I wasn't expecting and which impressed me. The woman insists she could stymie the progress of my hearing loss, which I doubt, and besides that would be with herbs, which for now I'm a no too. I slept better last night, but still not very long, and still woke up crying. I think I have cried more in the last month than ever before in my life. But I did make another appointment for next week.

I think it is fine for a parent to point out when a kid is being overly dramatic. I think parents should do it

Acupuncture has had immediate and drastic improvement for me a couple of times as well for physical stuff. I tried something once - I think it was cranial sacral stuff and the woman came in the room and dramatically swooned backwards calling out to me to tell my aura she was not a threat but she could not enter the room because my energy was repelling her. I admit I got a little rush out of knowing my energy had my back.

See, energy's real!

SD i didnt want you to miss this!

I have no trouble believing therapists are
the corona virus. I have always thought of them as being virus like.

Or this woman was just a fruitcake

“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”—Sherlock Holmes

Fruitcake is highly probable.

It has been 3 weeks since my cat went missing. I don't think I'm ever going to see him again, and this realization punches me right in the face over and over.

Hugs, Velcro, I'm so sorry....

So sorry, Velcro.

I'm down with covid. Had to insist I be taken to a care facility as I can't self isolate as a tenant. Had to be really insistent with the clinic staff. They had ridiculous questions like why can't my landlady cook for me or buy food for me.

They called the government hotline and I was accepted. Was supposed to be moved the next day.

Folks who got me emergency food that morning before my clinic appointment also told me my landlady was annoyed, and that they hope she won't give me trouble.

Glad I was insistent as my new landlady was very unhappy (due to fear, and I'm hoping there isn't a cultural belief that I bring her bad luck) enough to call the hotline and kick up a fuss after dousing the gate and kitchen with disinfectant.

So I got moved in 3 hours. My room mate is pretty decent. It was a little weird (for me, given my previous life) to converse with her because she was curious why I'm renting. She doesn't rent, as she's got a stable family.

I'm from a very different socioeconomic strata since I've not regained the ability to work full-time and the economy has changed numerous work sectors a lot. There aren't a lot of job stability these days and folks like me have 2 or more part time jobs, particularly if it's "casual part-time" which means you don't have regular guaranteed work.

She was shocked but she wasn't judgmental though. She realised landlords have quite a lot of power, and that social safety nets have huge cracks. Which is good given the various propaganda in my nation and how it fools so many.

I know people in my country sometimes look at the UK's NHS and think its great when it's a zip code lottery. Like how different areas in the same American state can vary extremely widely.

I definitely feel I'm pretty fortunate despite being unfortunate because sadly, plenty of folks in worse situations.

Hey Lemon, you're really brave. My story is similar in some aspects except

Huge hugs Velcro

I'm sorry you have Covid, QM. Are you feeling many symptoms? How long do you have to stay isolated? I hope you recover quickly....

Oh gosh QM, I'm so sorry!! I hope you aren't feeling too bad and that you recover quickly. Hugs if wanted.

@Lemoncake I really admire you for talking to your cousin. I’m sure that took a lot of strength. How did you handle them minimizing it? I’ve always wanted to talk to the people who did stuff to me and bring up incidents that happened, but I’m too scared. I’m afraid they’d flat out deny it or turn it on me.

For years I’ve also wanted to reach out to my old neighbor who was also abused by my foster brother when we were like 10-12, but I don’t because if she’s forgotten it, I don’t want to make her life hell by putting it back in her mind. I wish I could hear her memories though because sometimes I don’t trust mine or they’re foggy.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've a number of symptoms including brain fog, being very tired, a wicked sore throat, a fever, a painful and wet cough, sniffly nose, sneezing. No wheezing, thankfully.

I'm concerned about the long term effects, in particular as I already have higher risk for cardiovascular issues, respiratory issues, endocrine crap.

I'm admittedly am grateful that I'm getting 3 meals a day in the hotel. If I had stayed in the flat, and had gotten food delivered, what if it negatively impacts my financial assistance application?

I am very tired of having chronic health problems (mental and physical) at this young an age, watching doctors judge me for having "so many old people problems at so young an age" like I wanted this.

Landlady got angry with me getting the poor quality pad-lock stuck 3 times in 2 days and all I could say is that I'm visually impaired like my former landlady. Even though it's true (as though I like being visually impaired), she probably thinks I'm lying.

My room mate doesn't have it as badly, and we're supposed to look out for each other in the event of an emergency. She's noted my memory problems though I excused it as "just PTSD".

If I test negative tomorrow, I will have to go home... if I'm not evicted from my new home for catching covid...

Wishing you speedy recovery.

Have you already sent off the financial assistance application? It would just be food though nothing luxurious but a need.

Do you have a copy of your contract? I don't think you would be kicked out for being being ill.

Could you ask you sister to bring you a better lock too?

I only ever had one sessions with Rob about this and never touched it because I feel like he took her side by saying " but she was a child" after I told him. I know that were exposed to a lot of inappropriate things like pornography, but I just feel it was still real despite our ages.That it could still be abuse even though we were children. Sticking to that fact does make me feel like I'm being dramatic. I've cried an awful lot because for the first time I have proof.

I just can't be around her and also declined her invitation to come to her brother's brithday dinner.

I think your body will always know even if you "forget".