Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Artie-Also glad it wasn’t anything serious!

Thank you! Yeah, he mentioned something about having to do less xrays. I guess they still need those for some things, though.

I had taken today off work for some other stuff so it worked out well that I was able to get in today!

thank you! me too. I had myself half convinced that they were going to have to pull both teeth. Yeesh

Also glad it wasn't anything serious, Artie!

The Therapy office called me today and left a message about setting me up with a new Therapist. I'll let you know how things go.

I had to go to day 1 of a two day in person thing at work today. They had a catered lunch. Tacos, which was fine except for the utter lack of any seasoning. Did they forget that salt exists? They also had some gluten-free cookies. Flavor-wise, they were ok, but texture-wise there was something just off about them. To @@ and any other couchies who can't have gluten, I sincerely hope this was not a representative sample of baked gluten-free goodies.

I also forgot how much my legs and feet swell up when I have to sit in a chair all day. At home I usually have my feet up on the couch I work from. In my "day jammies", bra-less, shoe-less. WFH has it's perks.

The first baked goods I had after starting gf tasted awful. Some still do, but I think I got used to it for most things.

And some are extraordinary—I had these really good gf donettes made with ricotta cream cheese at a restaurant a couple weeks ago.

On another note, maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but I spotted my first Mother’s Day card and gift display today. It brought tears.

Glad it’s not more serious art. There’s also interdental brushes you can get from any pharmacy which help too.

I also enjoy the bra-lessness and shoe-lessness of working from home! And I hate when places don't season things at all. That's how my mother-in-law's cooking is, too. Not that my mom's is much better, but at least it has salt!

For the future, if you need to sit in a chair all day, maybe you could try compression socks?

Hope the new therapist is a good fit!

Hugs, if wanted.

Has GF pasta gotten any better? I tried going GF maybe 15 years ago as an experiment, and the pasta seemed like the worst of the substitutes.

thanks! I'll have to look into those. I do use dental floss, but maybe need something with a little more oomph.

on break now, was going to go for a walk but it's chilly out there brrrr so I decided to walk at lunch instead...

1 week no smoking! And the cravings are still so bad. But I remember last time I quit. The cravings never went away. I asked H if I could save up the money I'm saving us and in 3 months buy a ring that I wanted. He said yes!

Oh, and somehow, the tax preparer guy got us a refund on our taxes! H found papers that stated he owned an ev last year, and I got the document of how much I paid L. Both helped a s*** ton!

That's great that you've gone a week, Scarlet! I like the idea of saving for a ring. And good that you're getting a refund!

Today is supposed to hit 73 with tornados here!

Did they chip those little suckers off for you? They are like stone. Plus how the heck are you supposed to bend a string? I think some angles are physically (as in physics!) impossible.

Will be back in Therapy this Friday

So pleased for you, RT. I hope the new therapist is helpful to you.

If you had extremely strong parental transference towards a therapist and they were fully aware of that and they knew the abusive and neglected relationship you had as a child with your own parents, and they know you long for them to be able to be the parent you never had, would the following situation upset you?
You have an agreement with your therapist that they will send you one text between sessions to try to help keep the connection alive. They have forgotten a couple of times in the past which has caused big ruptures and they have promised to do better.
They forget again so you text them and tell them you’re hurt that they have forgotten. In the session the following day they say sorry but that it’s important for you to understand that they play an extremely active role in their children’s lives and if something comes up with them they will always prioritise them even if that means causing hurt to their clients and that’s something you must accept. Bare in mind this therapist doesn’t ever really disclose anything about their life.
Logically that’s obviously reasonable, but is being upset about the fact that they are being so blatant about the fact that they have a relationship with their kids that you desperately long for a complete emotional over reaction? Would it be wrong to wish they never mentioned their relationship with their children?

Yeah, the biggest one came off when they were poking around in there with their pokey-thingie.

stay safe!

it's only suppose to get up to 66 F here today. But, we're expecting to get into the 80's by Friday and then the low 90's by Monday! Summer's tryna come early!

That sounds painful, KLL.

I'm going to offer something that R has said to me in the past: 'Your feelings cannot be wrong, because they are yours.'

It might be uncalled for to lash out at him, but you are entitled to feel how you feel about the experience.

I can't remember whether you've mentioned this before, but would your T be open to writing you a note that you could keep with you between sessions?

R has written a couple of short post-it note messages for me, to which I still refer on rough days.

I hope you are able to find a place of peace with all this.

We are already in a review how sessions are going every four weeks because things have been very difficult between us. I haven’t lashed out at him, I just sat and sobbed for 40 minutes after he said it and then text him today to say how it had made me feel.

He said he would write a note and leave a voicemail for me previously, but never did it - this has been one of the (many) problems, him not doing the things he said he would and then making me feel like I’m in the wrong for being upset about that because he’s ‘busy and not a person who always does everything he says he will.’ Apparently that’s ok because he’s fallible and not a perfect human being.

I'm so sorry you are having to tread carefully within the therapeutic relationship.
I didn't intend to infer that you'd lashed out at him, just to cite an example of extreme response.

None of us are perfect, but many people still try to stick by what they have said they will do.

I hope you are able to get to a more even footing in your work with him.

Wow, KLL. I would be upset and hurt as well. There are many different and better ways to tell you that the text may not always happen. And then maybe go onto how you feel about intermittent texts? Maybe you can compromise or find a different solution. That’s what I would hope for.

The tone I take (and i know tone is hard to read in writing) is that he may be feeling overextended (absolutely NOT your fault), and is having a defensive reaction to you by bluntly by giving you the impression that your are “less than,” which is not true. Did he try and explain more or differently when you got upset?