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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,185
(SuperPoster!)
13 67.2k hugs
given |
#661
Lost, that is so me. Thanks. Haiku version
Fear is the cheapest Room in the house. I'd like to See you in the best. Last edited by unaluna; Jun 22, 2024 at 04:18 PM.. |
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![]() LostOnTheTrail
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![]() LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,922
12 3,210 hugs
given |
#662
Thanks for the smile, Una.
I love your version. ![]() __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,972
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.3k hugs
given |
#663
Dear T,
I feel weird about how session went today. The energy just felt off. Maybe it's because you're stressed? And/or because, for part of session, I was trying to talk about anything except the move? So I wasn't being authentic? And the good-bye just felt off. Usually, if you say "have a good couple days," and I say, "thanks, you, too," you'll say "thanks" or "I appreciate that." So your just saying "You're welcome" today felt weird. Especially as I got really emotional in the last few minutes. I do think I want to do in-person Tuesday. If today had felt good, I might have opted to just do virtual. I feel like I should have just left it be at Friday and not come in person today, but of course I can't go back in time. I know I risk Tuesday being difficult, if your office is more empty. But maybe if I could be more authentic, even if its painful and I'm crying much of the time, it would feel better? Hope it works out that I can come in. Love, LT |
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![]() LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,185
(SuperPoster!)
13 67.2k hugs
given |
#664
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,922
12 3,210 hugs
given |
#665
Well, you have an email.
I imagine you were anticipating some kind of verbal response from me, rather than a soluble one...although you probably expected that too. Of course, virtual is better than nothing, and if that's what you're offering, that's what I get... If the one thing I've managed to keep thanks to Steve is 'Self care requires telling the damn truth', then I need to share how I feel about this. My fear is losing control, because sharing space helps so much with the settling. It's hard for me that I only have the vaguest idea of what actual therapeutic work we did last week. It takes some to make it so that I don't even want a written record of the session. See you Thursday, Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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![]() LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,972
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.3k hugs
given |
#666
Dear T,
Now I'm sort of wondering whether I want to even see you at all this week, whether in-person or virtual. If you're really stressed about the move, which is fully understandable, and I'm upset about it, I just am unsure how it would go well. I had the thought earlier that maybe we could do something fun, like a game--Uno perhaps? But when I mentioned that ages ago before a vacation, you'd said we should discuss it first. And I didn't bring it up, so I doubt you'd go for it tomorrow. And we could only do some sort of online game Thursday. Trivia is out, as you've already said you dislike that. I could show you more photos, I guess. I thought yesterday that you'd tell me some interesting stories about objects in the room, but that hit a total dead end. I want something connecting and relaxed. But is that possible at this point? I guess if I'm considering canceling entirely, I have until 1 today to decide.... Love, LT |
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![]() LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,752
5 |
#667
I am angry about not being angry anymore.
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![]() LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,972
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.3k hugs
given |
#668
Dear T,
Visiting the lobby of the new office made me feel a bit better about the move. It took away at least a bit of the unknown. And I do think it was about my coming up with something to help the fear. I wish you'd recognized that, rather than seeming freaked out by the prospect of my running into you there. Maybe we can talk about it more tomorrow. It's a completely different thing, but it makes me think of when I decided to try that walk 100 miles in a month thing. How I thought it was a good source of motivation, and you were all negative about it. Obviously, there were different reasons behind your reactions, but still. It feels a bit undermining in a way. Love, LT |
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![]() LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,922
12 3,210 hugs
given |
#669
Visiting the future is draining work.
In the here and now, I need to be heard and understood. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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![]() LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,398
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,854 hugs
given |
#670
Hey L guess what, you know that emotional regulation stuff we worked so much on? Well the switch finally flipped, as it were, and I find myself able to do it at long last. At least I got here before I turn 62 soon huh? haha
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![]() LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,952
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,087 hugs
given |
#671
Thanks for being cool about my medical emergency that is still going on. But I do feel pretty guilty. I think its common for people going through medical stuff to feel guilty at times.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,972
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.3k hugs
given |
#672
Dear T,
Still feel a bit sad about seeing your office in person for the last time today. But I felt the session was pretty connected, which was what I needed and had missed Sunday. I want to talk more about how you understood I was looking for connection Sunday, but didn't want to give it in the way I was seeking. It would be good if, in the future, you could just acknowledge that. I know you said today you were concerned about hurting me. But it seems like it would hurt less if it felt like you picked up on what I was looking for. So I'd at least feel seen. And it's a little thing, but your saying "take care" when I left felt nice (much better than "you're welcome" from last time). Then, after I turned back and said "goodbye, office," started crying, then apologized, your gently saying "It's OK" helped a lot. Wish I could message you to let you know I arrive safely at my destination, but I know that's not what the relationship is. Talk to you Thursday. Love, LT |
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![]() LostOnTheTrail, Mountaindewed, ScarletPimpernel
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,922
12 3,210 hugs
given |
#673
Of all the emails I have ever sent, then wished they'd self-destruct....that was the one.
I needed to get it out, and that was probably not the way to do it. Well, I'll face the music in the morning. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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![]() ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,952
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,087 hugs
given |
#674
Why am I not looking forward to seeing you? Doctors and therapy appointments are now just as stressful as work was.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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