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Default May 13, 2024 at 02:06 PM
  #561
Well they haven't cancelled yet. Theres still plenty of time though.

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LonesomeTonight
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Default May 13, 2024 at 04:33 PM
  #562
Dear T,

Happy 54th Birthday! Because I couldn't say it in session, though you understood my allusion to it. I suppose it was fairly obvious.

I feel disconnected from you. I don't know if it's partly because of the above, your talking about texting with your friends, unresolved stuff from last week, and/or other stuff. Guess I'll try to ponder it and write about it between now and next session, see what bubbles up.

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LT
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Default May 14, 2024 at 07:40 PM
  #563
Possible trigger:


I feel it deep in my blood sometimes. Spring of 06.

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Default May 15, 2024 at 07:08 PM
  #564
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Possible trigger:

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Default May 15, 2024 at 09:17 PM
  #565
omgosh I love writing (and revising) poetry every day! This practice makes my soul so happy. And I'm not even writing about you/therapy anymore. How about that?
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Default May 15, 2024 at 11:03 PM
  #566
I understand things happen, but I really needed you tonight. I waited all day for you. And tomorrow is extremely inconvenient for me. The night before the move? I have other things I need to do!

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Default May 16, 2024 at 12:01 AM
  #567
Theres a song on my phone called Greenlight. It reminds me of when one of my therapists called me a greenlight for saying you don't mess with small peoples food and you don't mess with big peoples food.

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Mountaindewed
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Default May 16, 2024 at 10:11 AM
  #568
I think you'll be pretty concerned about me throwing up in my sleep. Its not as funny as having diarrhea in your sleep which you did think was pretty funny.

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Default May 16, 2024 at 04:23 PM
  #569
Our soluble session was followed by a griefquake watching This is Us.

I'll make contact with the helpline tomorrow.

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Default May 17, 2024 at 02:27 AM
  #570
So, the chances are I'm not your first client to cry over something inconsequential and then end up sobbing over something else?

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Default May 17, 2024 at 12:59 PM
  #571
Dear T,

I kind of wish you'd either confirmed or denied that it was your wife. Or, if you weren't willing to do that, to ask me how it felt if I thought that she was. I felt weird talking about it, not knowing who it was.

I do find it sort of odd that when I asked if it was you, then said, "I guess it could be a doppelganger," you said, "It was me. I wouldn't lie to you, LT." Just weird you'd throw that in.

I will do my best to put this out of my mind. I certainly wouldn't email about it. (Though, I suppose I'm going to a concert tonight--maybe I should temporarily delete Gmail from my phone!) May want to talk about it more Monday though, I don't know.

Love,
LT
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Default May 17, 2024 at 02:52 PM
  #572
Dear T,

Also, I appreciated the "weird" exchange at the end. Felt warm and connecting, especially as we were both laughing.

Love,
LT
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Default May 17, 2024 at 03:38 PM
  #573
I be calling later bored, hopeless, and hopefully not inebriated. I have a feeling either so little is going to happen tonight or A LOOOOT of shyts going to go down. The “passive” suicidality will kill me, but nobody cares because I don’t have a plan of overtly committing suicide.

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Default May 17, 2024 at 07:12 PM
  #574
You looked slightly uneasy when I said "I was just dreaming about my hot PT"

Then later you said "you were just having a nice dream."

We were talking about me throwing up in my sleep.

I know you get that slight unease look when I talk about liking females. But don't worry.

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Default May 18, 2024 at 09:37 AM
  #575
Dr. S. That was pretty bad. I don't think I would have expected it from you. I guess that is really a difference between job you and real you. You thought it was ok to do what you did now that you are not responsible for my care.
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Default May 18, 2024 at 11:27 AM
  #576
Feeling raw and exhausted.

I haven't had a session like that in a very long time.

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default May 18, 2024 at 01:23 PM
  #577
Soooo, this morning I thought I’d spend forever traveling around the country, but my partner just asked me if I’d consider moving in with them and their roommate. Didn’t say this, but I had a complete lack of feelings toward them for a couple days, but I just had a call with them and omg the love is back. I have to go back so I guess I will see you Wednesday.

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Default May 19, 2024 at 06:49 AM
  #578
Dear T,

OK, I think I need to talk to you more about possibly seeing you with your wife. As I had a dream last night where I was at your house, along with H and D. And your wife kissed you on the lips a couple times, seeming possessively, though by the end, she and I were chatting like friends. Your son was also there (plus a few random relatives--it was like they were vetting me), but he was much younger than in real life, and I called him by a different name. But clearly, it's still on my mind.

Though I have plenty of other stuff from outside life to talk about, too, so probably don't want to spend *too* long on it.

Love,
LT
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Default May 19, 2024 at 05:56 PM
  #579
Dear T,

I just feel really sad/depressed (maybe more). I don't know if it's about the conversation with H last night, getting rid of so much stuff in the house (including stuff I've had for more than 20 years), something from seeing you outside Friday, the semi-related dream last night, the usual concert letdown I tend to have, concerns about H's possible surgery, guilt, something else, or some mix of those things. Or maybe it's partly that I'm tired. Hopefully, I can figure some of it out either before or during our session tomorrow.

Love,
LT
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Default May 19, 2024 at 10:26 PM
  #580
I googled my transference therapist and I didn't have a meltdown. Is a probiotic a magic pill or something? I know physical health goes with mental health.

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