Concern about my therapist.

I found a psychologist on instagram, I liked her posts so I started to follow her and she follow me back. I left her some comments and likes and she gave me a good impression as a professional because of her criticism of fraudulent procedures in therapy.

About two months later after we started follow each other, I started therapy with this psychologist. I know that it is not good for the therapist-patient relationship to extend beyond therapy so I never liked her on instagram or left her comments anymore, and even avoided seeing her stories because she might see that I have seen them. But I didn't unfollow her because I thought it could be perceived as hostile. It's one thing not to interact, it's another thing to unfollow, which is a decision that translates into an action that sometimes displeases the unfollower, and I didn't want to upset my therapist.

She also didn't give me likes or leave comments on instagram, but she was still my follower (and unlike me, she did see my stories, although she didn't like or comment on them). A month after starting therapy she was still my follower (I remember she saw a story I posted) and we continued to do therapy, but today I noticed that she stopped following me.

This worries me because I think that if she had stopped following me at the beginning of therapy, it would be because she wanted to keep therapist-patient distance, but she has stopped following me over a month after having weekly therapy, and I fear that she has stopped following me because she feels dislike for me.

I have never uploaded controversial personal opinions one way or the other (politics, sexism, etc) to instagram. I worry about my therapist disliking me because I think maybe the reason she has unfollowed me is that she dislikes me, but therapy has gone well so far...although that worries me.

I am looking for a professional response, as perhaps another psychologist, sharing a profession with my therapist, will understand what my psychologist has done, and can tell me to what extent it is possible that she has stopped following me out of antipathy. Thank you very much

I’m not sure you’ll find many therapists/psychologists responses here.

I hope you don’t mind me responding. This is something that needs to be directly addressed with your therapist. No one here can tell you what her intentions or feelings are. She could have unfollowed for a number of reasons.

I know when I guess at my therapist’s intentions or feelings, anything really, I usually get it wrong. 6 years in and I still can’t predict/read her. So I wouldn’t assume or guess anything. Just ask.

Thanks for your reply. Many things:

1) I know only her can know at 100% why she did, but I thought other psychologist could infer better than me because they have studied how patient-therapist relationship should develop. So it may be reasons I don't really know since I am not a therapist.
2) I won't ask her why she did. I don't want to bother her. After all, is her right to do so.
3) I thought there were both therapists and patiens there because I read in the "read first" post that:

"You've found a safe, secure, and reliable support community"

"We have thousands of fellow members here who will be glad to lend an ear, offer information, and provide support for when you need it"

So, if the information here is RELIABLE, I assume that some members are mental health professionals. If not, there is no guarantee that provided info is reliable. It may be since no proffesional can have some wisdom, but there's no guarantee at all.

In any case, I am glad for your kindness and disponibilty to help… but I feel I need an opinion of a proffesional.

I'm also not a psychologist, but is it possible she just then realized that she was following a client? I assume you don't use your actual name on Instagram, so maybe she didn't realize it was you at first? Or was waiting to see if you continued seeing her as a therapist before unfollowing? Like if you just saw her once or twice, maybe she'd have continued following. I imagine it's for professional/boundary reasons, rather than her not liking you.

I agree that you should ask her.

I agree with lonesome, it probably took a while to make the connection from computer to real life.

Therapists always seek to avoid dual relationships. A dual relationship is any relationship that has two separate facets to it. In the case of a therapist, you now have a professional therapeutic relationship with them. That is the only relationship that the therapist can reciprocate, if they like to follow professional ethics to the letter. Any additional relationship -- e.g., following you on social media -- is a potential conflict and a potential dual relationship.

Since most therapists take ethics pretty seriously, it is likely they unfollowed you to avoid a dual relationship with you and abide by their professional ethics. It says nothing about you as a person, just their effort to keep to their ethical guidelines and ensure the relationship with you remains professional.

This is a peer self-help community, meaning it is a place for folks of every stripe to come and find support for mental health, relationship, and other issues. There are virtually no professionals on these forums, and for the ones who are here, they are here to get mental health support or to give it as a non-professional. As we say in the footer of every page here, always consult your mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

Cheers.

Thank all of you for replying, specially DocJohn due to his profesionality.

Best wishes to all of you.