I'm sometimes moved by my therapist showing concern for me

This has happened on a number of occasions. She lets me text her, and if I cancel an appointment, she wants to talk to know how I am.
Sometimes when we talk she's said how I mustn't do certain things otherwise she "wouldn't be able to sleep at night". Other times when we talk about my family, she has said how my family did something to "us" (instead of saying "to you" that is me) and then she corrected herself and said "to you". It just made me feel like she was on my side against all the problems I'm facing. I liked that.
And last time when we talked a bit about the therapy, she said that she valued our relationship and that it gives her joy to talk to me.

I don't really have many besides her to show concern, and some kind of affection, towards me. So it has been some nice reminders of how it is to actually feel wanted by someone.

Do any of you feel a bit of the same?

Maybe your T has some countertransference?

My t always acts like hes very glad to see whoever his next patient is.


We have talked about how, when i would visit my mother, the pit bull dog next door would be more pleased to see me than she ever was.


So i think he does it to replace that message, from generally not welcome in the world, to welcome to the world!

I guess I'm the opposite. When my ex-t referred to her and I as an "us," it made me extremely uncomfortable...but our boundaries were blurred a bit.

Interesting. Both of my Ts referred to us as "us" many times and I personally liked it - it gave me a sense of collaboration. I do the same often with my own work colleagues now, learned it from the Ts. But only in a professional context.

Well, when the T that I had some nasty conflicts and shaky boundaries with used this expression, it evoked some negative emotions, but what I hear in it is still primarily the fact that it's something that we created together. It bothers me much more if they refer to the ambiguous or negative message using "you, you and you" in it - that gives me a sense that they are not taking responsibility for their own part.

I think because of my attachment issues, the fact that ex-t and I had our boundaries blurred, etc. and she had already said we'd be friends if I wasn't her client, it nearly gave me false hope.

The context in which that conversation went down was:

Me: I can't tell my mom that I'm attached to you. She wouldn't be happy knowing that I feel an emotional connection to my therapist. I think she'd get jealous that I feel close to you.

Ex-t: Oh, you can't tell her about us? Can you tell anyone about us?

"Us" in this sense made me queasy. I knew my feelings couldn't be reciprocated and didn't want false hope. I would have preferred her making the distinction that I did, "You can't tell your mother that you feel close to me as your therapist?" She was well aware of my issues and that I need that boundary, but they were so dang blurred by that point...when we hit a rupture, she took the friendly commentary back and became much more clinical.

Her: I'm not your friend. That isn't our relationship. You didn't meet the version of me that you'd meet at a restaurant.

So, it was okay when she and I were getting along, but voice an opinion and she pulled out those boundaries- which she herself made fuzzy- hardcore. I felt confused.

I see. Well, these would have made me cringe as well...
"Ex-t: Oh, you can't tell her about us? Can you tell anyone about us?" - I think the reference is rather inappropriate this way, it does have a sense of crossing a line. I don't think one needs attachment issues to feel that way, the "us" in this context almost sounds like some kind of dirty secret.