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  #1  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 07:38 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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How does it work when you change to a new T after a good relationship with the T you left?
Do you experience transference with the new T? How does that work? It seems odd to me to think of having that kind of relationship with more than one person.

Have you had more that one T? Is it different, harder, to make a connection after the first one?

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  #2  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 08:05 PM
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I'm interested in that question too, ECHOES. With my first T, I wasn't attached, so it wasn't an issue establishing that with the next T. But what if (horror of horrors!) someday I leave my dear T and need to have another? I can't even imagine doing this all over again with someone, having the bond, the close relationship, etc. (not to mention the transference)
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  #3  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 08:27 PM
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Hey guys....maybe I can be the "test" case. I had a 5yr. relationship w/my last t. It was very close and I had major transference going on. Caused me to think I was insane sometimes. It's a long story, but he had problems I was unaware of and he just disaqppeared one day.

PLEASE DO NOT let this trigger anybody's abandonment fears. This was a MOST unusual case. However, I have been seeing a new t. for 1 1/2yrs. now and I keep wondering (& fearing) about transference again. I can tell you that I am v e r y s l o w l y starting to see some familiar feelings creeping in YIKES!!! New T... does transference happen again? I'm doing the best I can to let things happen naturally and not run away as fast as I can. It helps immensely that my t. is super sensitive to what happened to me and how it makes me skittish

tulips
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New T... does transference happen again? New T... does transference happen again?
  #4  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 09:13 PM
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I have had two T's. I was nowhere near connected to the first as I am now. Transference is deeper this time around.

I would think that it's all about establishing an intimate relationship. It's the intimacy that pulls the transference out of us, I think.

New T... does transference happen again? New T... does transference happen again? New T... does transference happen again? New T... does transference happen again?
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New T... does transference happen again?
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  #5  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 10:12 PM
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Hey

I had a first T for like 4 years and the transferance was SO intense both ways. I was so attached and had everything from love to fear happen.

I just started with a new T and believe it or not, I think it is happening again, because I feel SOOO cold to T.

There is no reason I should be so cold, as I have only met him a couple of times.

This transferance thing is crazy. It's interesting and frightening as well...
  #6  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 10:42 PM
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Any sense of familiarity and responding as if X person is like Y person is usually transference. In regular life, I think my husband is very like my father and that may be true (whereas your male T is not likely to be like your father because you don't get to know your T that familiarly to know what he's actually "like" in detail) but there's quite a bit of transference going on there which is okay since I really liked my father and it doesn't get in my way; but it could get in my husband's way! For example, I am still always surprised that my husband stops the car and has me drive when he gets tired, my father never turned the car over to anyone else, always had to be the driver. I get a little resentful that he doesn't just keep driving, especially when I don't feel like driving :-)

So, yes, if you're still working on issues from when you were younger and people you didn't get along with or who abused you or even who you feel give you trouble now, then there's going to be transference.
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  #7  
Old Mar 04, 2008, 01:03 AM
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I've had two deeply felt, intense, attached relationships with two different Ts. The first T I saw for three years. I stopped seeing her because I moved. I've been seeing my current T for four years.

I've had lots of transference feelings in both relationships, but I've only been able to talk about them with this T. I wasn't ready to admit that I cared about my first T or that I really, really wanted her to care about me. Now I think it's good that I can care about my T and be cared about and to talk about all of it. Just because it's good, though, hasn't meant it's been easy.

I thought I would never have another amazing T relationship. How could I? My former T was the best in the world. Luckily I found the other best T in the world, too. (I don't post much, but read regularly. Know that I'm aware of just how many 'best T's in the world there really are!)
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