How does one process "termination" or abandonment?

Or something like that? Seriously? What am I supposed to do, wake up one day and be perfectly *FINE* that my T is leaving, and a bunch of my friends are graduating and my world is falling to pieces?

... to heck with her being "nice". I dont WANT NICE. I want a REASON to be mad at her. I want a REASON to forget the good stuff, and just push her away because it's going to hurt too much when she leaves.

Everyone ALWAYS leaves.

Yeah, todays session was a load of fun. She refuses to accept that I need someone to tell me that I shouldnt do something stupid... is it weird that I just need some damn reinforcement of the good stuff? SERIOUSLY, I have gone through a %#@&#! BAD TIME lately and I WANT to scream.

... okay, I definetely dont deal well with things. Verge of anxiety attack (or fullblown anxiety) for two days now, and I am SICK of it. I hate crying. Im breaking.

And who cares??? Seriously?

... I'm too messed up. She's gone anways. My heart is broken again. Only like 4? more meetings then she's GONE.

... Christina wants to crawl into a hole and die right now.

((((Christina)))))
I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain! I wish I had the answers for you, but as you saw, my session sucked too. Well, at least we aren't alone Have you started looking for a new T? Maybe if you start in that direction and make an appointment it will get your mind off of things and you can discuss your abandonment issues with your new T. Best of wishes to you. I'm here if you need me Love ya'.

((((((((((((Soliaree))))))))))))))

Unfortunately, cant really get a new T. I could go back to the T I actually terminated, but beyond that... I havent had much luck with the Ts on campus (I use health services). The counsellor I WANT to see again isnt around until ... June? I think. So I could go T-less until June, see the one I terminated from now-June, or from the end of therapy - so April-June, or just go without therapy...

Actually, my options make me more depressed to think about them.

Your session did indeed suck. T's certainly need a good... "talking to" sometimes. (To put it nicely.)

Oh Christina is being a bit *****y... my apologies.

Thank you