[jbug]

I am feeling abandoned by my therapist. She told me that if I needed her to call me to tell her to call me back in the phone message well I was very clear in my message to call me back. I also sent her an email in which I said to email me back her response to my question still no answer. So now I feel she hates me doesn't want to be my T anymore that I am just an annoying person in her life and am feeling like a bug that needs to be squished. How do you deal with abandonment issues with your T?

Jbug

There are many reasons your T may have not been able to get back to you per your request. I know, through my own struggles, it's difficult not to jump on the thought "OK, they must hate me". I'm sure something has occurred that gives her reason to have not yet responded.

I talk my abandonment issues out with my therapist as I can. It's a very hard thing for me to address, especially because the issue is occurring with HER and to have to sit face to face with her and talk about it is nerve-wrecking but necessary.

[sunrise]

Jbug, when did you call and email your T? Was it yesterday, a few days ago, earlier today? If it was fairly recenlty, remember she may have an all day obligation today, such as an off-site all day training, and she may not have even gotten her message. If you don't hear from her in a couple of days, can you try again?

As to how to avoid feeling abandoned, it sure is hard! Maybe just think back to all the reassuring and caring things she has said in session, and use that to base your response on, rather than this one instance of non-response.

Hope she calls soon.

[jbug]

I know in my heart of hearts that she didn't do it intentionally but my brain these days is being all screwy. I decided not to have my mom go with me tomorrow to therapy and just go by myself and that is scary because I am scared of all the emotions that are going to come spewing out of me. I should probably email my T to prepare her for me tomorrow but I wouldn't know exactly what to say. I am just a big ball of emotions right now and they aren't the right emotions to be having.

Jbug

[chaotic13]

JB,
You it would make YOU feel better to email your T a warning, then do it. I think it is brave of you to want to go in therapy on your own. I'm sure your T can handle what ever comes out during a session.

[Merlin]

i always call my pdoc when i leave an email, because i know he doesn't read it regularly.

[Mouse_]

T replys to emails when she can and any feelings that arise within regarding the time it takes for a reply whether real or imagined are talked about in session..

[why_me08]

I understand what you are going through i had the same thing happen to me just last week and i felt like it was the end of the world. My T apoligized up and down for missing it but gave me a different # to call in case of emergency. Hang in there ...

[jbug]

Well I found out why she didn't call or email. She said she didn't get the note to call me until the next day and felt really bad. I asked her about the email and she said she doesn't check her work email everyday and that she needs to do better at that and so now when I send her an email at work I am to call her and tell her she has an email so she knows to check it. I may just cc it to her home email addy to so she gets it both places. She has given me her home email addy so if I need to get in contact with her on the weekends I am able to.

So basically she didn't mean to make me feel abandoned and we talked about the issue and it made me feel better.

Jbug

[(JD)]

(((Jbug))) you have reminded me of something I used to post more often here at PC.

Everyone needs to discuss such with their Ts, imo. If your T allows you to call and leave messages, with expectation of replies, then the T needs to tell you what his/her average reply time is. My pain psych always responds within the hour (usually within 5 minutes outside of office hours.) IF the T doesn't respond within that time period, then you need a plan as to what to do at that time. Mine says to call again, as the call/message may have been dropped by the service due to a technology glitch, etc.

I'm glad you are feeling better, jbug, about this situation, and I'm sorry that you went through the situation.