Need some encouragement

I used to post in this forum but stopped about 6 months ago. I've kept up with most of the posts. The reason I stopped posting was because I quit T cold turkey without really discussing with my T so felt weird about posting in the psychotherapy forum even though I loved you guys. I think I always hoped I'd go back to therapy and secretly wished my T would convince me to (though I knew she wasn't going to do that).

Anyway, I think I'd like to go back to T, but it's REALLY hard for me to pick up the phone and make that call. I have anxiety about talking on the phone. That phone anxiety combined with the huge anxiety about calling her up to see if I can come back has kept me from doing it for so long. I'm going to try to do it though, and thought it might help me if I posted this message here for all to see.....

I have all these things playing in my mind...what if she doesn't want me to come back? What if she thinks its a bad idea? What if I go back and don't like it? How do I fit this back in my job schedule and budget again? All these things have been great excuses for the past 6 months.

Lemon, it is good to see you back. I have missed you.

It sounds like you need encouragement. Go for it! Give therapy another try! Sometimes we are not in a place for it and sometimes we are. Sounds like you are back to being ready for therapy.

I have phone anxiety too. Would it help you to write out a little script and rehearse the call? Then you won't get tongue tied. I especially hate when I get an answering machine and end up saying inane things with awkward pauses.

I hope your T will want to see you again. How did you end your therapy with her? Did you just not go back one day? (That is what I did with my previous T. I gave no explanation or anything, I just canceled an appointment and never called back to reschedule.) If your T isn't able to see you again, then hopefully she could provide some referrals. Are you at all considering a different therapist, or did you really like her and definitely want to resume?

If you do go back and don't like it, you can always stop going. Or switch to a different therapist. Remember, you are the customer!

No more excuses. Go for it!

People go in and out of therapy all time, so I dont think she would be at all worried about that. I know what you mean by the phone anxiety, I'm the same. Does she have e mail. That is a much easier way! Good luck

You've already had some wise replies, so I'll just add my encouragment.

Go for it!!!! You deserve it.

kindergirl & earthmama Thanks for the replies and encouragement. I'm trying to keep up the motivation. I'm laughing at myself, but I know sometimes she works late and I think I need a dry run. I'm planning on calling her voicemail tonight just to hear it. LOL. And then take the next giant step and leaving a message tomorrow (If I haven't totally chickened out by then)

Sunny!!!! I've missed you too. But actually I've been keeping up on your posts and sending you positive thoughts on getting through the divorce process all along. I stopped going to T at a time when I was feeling too overwhelmed to do anything and incapable to discussing it. When I stopped, I had an appointment scheduled in one week and called her to tell her I couldn't make it. She left me a voicemail to see if I wanted to reschedule. I called her back and left her a voicemail saying I wasn't ready to come back. That was our last contact. I think she is a good T and I'd like to make it work with her rather than starting over with someone else. She was my couples T before individual and I like that she has seen and met my ex.

I don't think my T uses email for clients. Or at least she never mentioned it. That would be a bad habit for me to get into because I definately need to work on vocalizing my thoughts and if allowed would hide behind email messages way to often.

Ok....one more hour and I'm going to call....I think....maybe...

Hey Lemon.

Someone already mentioned writing a script, but I just thought I would say that is what I do as well. And then I practice like 100 times so I don't sound like I am reading it! LOL

If you did not leave T on a bad note, I bet she will be happy to hear from you. I once left a T and just sent a letter quitting. Months later I called her to make a truce because it always bothered me. She was really happy to hear from me and made a special appointment to see me so that we could end properly.

Good luck! It will be ok.

Hi Lemon!!!!

Welcome back.

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I have all these things playing in my mind...what if she doesn't want me to come back? What if she thinks its a bad idea? What if I go back and don't like it? How do I fit this back in my job schedule and budget again?

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Sounds to me like you are already back in the game!!!



(formerly known as sister)

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Riptide said:
And then I practice like 100 times so I don't sound like I am reading it!

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Oh, I had to laugh at this. It sounds just like me, and exactly what I've been doing for the past hour!

(((sister/miss charlotte))) so good to hear from you. I always love reading your posts.

By the way, I did the dry run. She still exists and hasn't retired (another one of my random anxiety thoughts). Actually, her voicemail is exactly the same as it was 6 months ago. I think I feel good about that.

soooooooooooooo.... did you call? are you going back???

=) Kiya

What happened, Lemon?

Lemon, I called mine after nine years :-) and she was really pleased to hear from me.

Thanks so much to everyone who posted. It meant a lot to me to have your support. I can't believe it but I did it. I called her! I really think posting here helped me make the commitment. I feel like I have the after T glow and I haven't even been back yet. I hope it lasts awhile.

So last night I thought I'd just do the dry run and listen to her voicemail. After I did that I decided I didn't want to think about it anymore and worry about making the call the next day. So I called back and left a message. I was proud of my message. Normally I talk around what I really want. But I flat out asked her if she could call me back because I wanted to know if it would be ok if I came back to see her for Therapy. Well of course I didn't sleep well.

But she called me back today! It was the one time all day I was away from my phone. How do T's know how to do that, call the one time you can't pick up? She sounded happy that I called and said that it would be great to see me again. I see her next Thursday. Aaahhh. I hope I can get through one week without totally obsessing about this.

Yah!

That's great Lemon! I knew your T would be happy to hear from you. Now, try to hang in there this time.....