Meep. Next Wednesday.

<font color="purple">Okay, so after a few months of poking, prodding, and shuffled feet, I am actualy going to see a lady (in some clinic). Things are working out schedule-wise I guess

My thoughts are a mix between:
"YES WHOO! "
"About time."
"*insert babble over not really needing a T here*"

The only downside being that my parents now seeing that something actualy IS going on with me in my life, they keep on poking and prodding me even more about whatever problems that I may have ...even though I pretty much clearly stated that it's not something I want to talk about. It's really...irritating and stressful. I know it's a parents job but...

ANYWAYS.
I remember my mom saying Wednesday, I think she meant next Wednesday, but it could be a few weeks from now too. </font>

Been there, done that.

It's a good thing. Really. It may seem really scary, and your parents being nosy might be annoying and irritating and uncomfortable...But this is a good step, and I'm really happy for you.

PM me if you ever want to talk

I have experienced the same thing with my mom in the past. I ended up sitting down with her at the kitchen table and explained to that I really needed some space to figure things out. I needed professional help because I couldn't get myself out of my own head enough to figure out what was wrong. I asked for her patience and would let her know when I was ready to share things with her. I also ensured her that it was not her fault and I loved her. I think partent feel they failed if they are not able to fix everything for their children. I have to consiously remember to share things with her so I hold up my end of the bargin. I don't share everything because it's not all her business. Our relationship has grown greatly through this.

One of my friends and his partents have set up a code. When he calls them mom and dad they can be regular ol' parents. When he calls them by their first names they treat each other like independent adults...like you would a friend. This changes the boundries between them. His parents also know that what he wants to talk about is serious and it changes their listening and response style.

Does that make sense???

I wish you patience in dealing with your parents. They could be really good support if you can find a way to communicate the role you would like them to have and hopefully they will be willing to participate in a way that works for you...and them

Your parents are worried about you, Kaika, that's why they're pushing and prodding. Their behavior is not helpful to you but what they need is you to talk to them and give some reassurances (which can be as informative or vague as you want). "Mom & Dad, I know you're worried about me and I appreciate your concern. I'm working on some important stuff in therapy and I'm not sure yet, but I think this might really help." And again repeat how you don't want to share details of your therapy so please they shouldn't ask, as it stresses you out. They need a little reassurance because they're so worried. Completely pushing them away won't help at all, as they will just become more worried and probably prod and poke even more.

Maybe one of the first things you and your therapist can talk about is boundaries and how to say directly that you don't wish to talk about your problems or therapy with anyone but your therapist.

When my son was seeing his therapist I told him I would not ask about it other than was it a good session. By telling him that, I could ask and he knew that I wasn't looking for details, just showing interest and concern.

Confidentiality is so important. It's what allows us to be able to be open and honest with our therapists. There is no other way.

I'm sure that's frustrating for your parents. That is for them to deal with; the tension and fear they feel isn't something for you to relieve for them.

Of course they care about you and part of caring about you at this time is to give you room, freedom, and to respect your *needs* that include the need to have confidentiality around your therapy experience.