6 weeks!!

It's been 6 weeks since my last session. In that time i have wondered about going back, simply because i am trying to 'hide away' from the real stuff that has to come out, up to now it's been about getting me stable, some child work which really triggers and sets me back.

I know i have to do this to heal .... i'm just so anxious. My hubby has an interview for a new job today, he really wants this job and i'm routing for him .... i don't want to tell him i'm scared about going alone cos i want him to concentrate completely on his interview without worrying etc ,,,,, truth is, as ridiculous as it sounds, i am scared of driving there and parking and using the parking meter how dumb is that???? What if i can't find a parking space, all these what ifs .... i also have to take the car for a new exhaust today, but i know where to go, what to do and i'm fine ..... just going to therapy and doing something i have never done before is such a big thing ..... how stupid is it? I feel like an idiot. I used to be like this when i was a teen, scared of everything, even getting on a bus!!!!!!

I'm worried about seeing t again too ..... i dont want to just jabber on about inane stuff, but it's all i ever do, like i'm evading the stuff i need to get out. Why is it so hard?

My son is going through very important exams right now and my daughter is looking at accomodation for university, guess i have a lot to think about, may only sound trivial but i worry about them so much. sorry this is so long, woke early and just had to get all this out i suppose, sometimes writing it out empties your head a bit ....... Jinnyann xxxxxx

Good luck today, Jinnyann!!

((((JinnyAnn)))

None of it sounds trivial, sounds like your plate at the buffet is overloaded. I wish you luck and peace on your way/during your appointment.

Take care,


Dee

(((((((((((((((( Jinnyann ))))))))))))))))

I hope you have a good session today.

Hey,

Take a deep breath. I get anxious about returning after a break, too. Some combination of wanting to share the deep stuff that I've been thinking about (and terror at the prospect of that) and also wanting to share about the stuff that has been going on for me (and worrying about my jabbering about that). It can take some time to reconnect. Maybe take a deep breath and take things one step at a time? When things seem a bit overwhelming sometimes it is our bodies way of letting us know to go easy / gentle with ourself. There is... All the time there is.

jinnyann, I hope your session went well. The first session back can be really hard. I always feel shy after a break, like I really don't know T anymore. It's hard to get back into it, especially if there is challenging work to get back to.

I understand about the parking meter. My T used to have free parking in the lots near his building and recently they changed to having meters, which were a kind I was unfamiliar with. I had anxiety about not being able to figure out how the meters worked. It's crazy the stuff that can worry us, but I think it's very natural too, especially when you are overloaded with lots of other worries. Hope the parking meter thingy went well too!

((((((((((((((((((((((friends)))))))))))))))))))

Thankyou so much for all the replies, greatly appreciated.

My friend came with me to get the car exhaust done ...... my husbands interview finished earlier so he drove me to therapy ...
so although the anxiety was taken away, really i should have done these things by myself ..... feel a bit of a failure, this sounds so fickle i know .... just wish i was able to do these things without gettiso worked up and stupid. My t was wonderful and she feels i amready to start inner childwork on a deeper basis, i keep talking about the flashbacks and dreams and wanting it out. But she is taking it very slow indeed and i asked her about body work but she says not a good idea, too fast too soon .... i think we here in the UK don't work the same as in the USA. she wants to take it very slowly so i dont go back into myself or regress too quickly.

so, back with her on a weekly basis now and i am going to try and remember .... it's not easy having dissosiative amnesia, my abuser hypnotised me on a regular basis when i was a younger child, i resisted ore when i was older. So my t says i might never remember all that happened. I am no longer capableof being hypnotised so regression is out of the question but my t would never put me through that anyway.

thanks again for all your support, big hugs and a big thankyou, you all make me feel worthwhile and give me a lift when i have so many wonderful replies.

love, Kerry /Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

((((kerry/jinny))))

dear friend,
my best thoughts go out to you ...
and I have this strong trust in you, and i believe you will succeed in your recovery.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
love,
night

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((((((((((((nightbird))))))))))))

thankyou so much, your words mean so much to me as well as your trust and faith in me. I wish you well too .... Kerry xoxoxoxox