Handbook of Rules for Ts

40. Must allow client to take at least one transitional object from the office and switch it with something else as needed.

41. Since crises can occur at any time of the day/night, Ts must be on call 24/7.

42. Ts must care about the client as much, if not more, than the client cares about the T.

43. If there is a snafu with scheduling, the T will heir on your side, not anyone else's.

44. The T will Never suggest reducing weekly sessions, EVER.

45. T must take client to dinner at least once a week
46. T must take me on family vacations
47. T must constantly remind client that she is the best client ever.

48. Must pick me up from work and drive me to session because I'm too damn tired to do it myself.

49. Must not bring up excellents points that I cannot argue with.

50. Must encourage us to bring our pets to session.

patchy id be interested to hear your T's response haha

You guys need family and friends!

Some of them are actually doable though

51) Must allow pajamas and slippers to be worn.
52) Must never put a time limit on the session. If it runs three hours, so be it.

53) As a birthday gift, gives you a framed photo of himself, signed "Love, _____"

54) No terminating patients.

55) No saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way." -- I hate that, it's so invalidating.

56) NO saying words that you know will trigger the patient, ever.

57) No saying, "You're upset because that's not what you want to hear." If I'm upset, then tell me what I want to hear, and mean it!

58) Make sure to appreciate your client's humour, for example, anything said about hippos. This is funny and you should laugh. (LOL)

59) If a client is having trouble paying because of an overdraft, offer the client free sessions until she gets on her feet (This is the Echoes Rule.)

I'd love to get to 100! Then I'd put them all together and maybe DocJohn would place them above all of the threads, like where Cognitive Distortions and such are located (I can't fathom why he wouldn't, LOL).

54) No terminating patients.

55. if he MUST have other patients, he must allow me to evaluate the female patients by photograph and then allow me to decide which ones to terminate.

56. Must allow me to buy him my favorite men's cologne (Drakkar Noir), must wear the cologne for 3 consecutive sessions, and then give me a transitional object, which he sprays with the cologne. Must continue to wear the cologne.

(God, I need erotic transference help)

sorry i messed up the numbering....my # 54 was just copying what Soliaree said.....since it blind sided me Tuesday

these are great =) ahhhhhhh speaking of t.... i need to leave now to get there on time.

#60. no frowing at client... freaks me out!

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50. Must encourage us to bring our pets to session.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> 53) As a birthday gift, gives you a framed photo of himself, signed "Love, _____"

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OMG I LOVE THESE--I can just see my peppy puppy in T's office puking on the rug. LOL

57. Must make relaxation/guided imagery recording for client using T's voice.
58. Must give shoulder rubs/massages....can call it therapeutic touch? Ya think it'll fly?

66. Must not ever make a jokes about doing cradle or re-birthing therapy--

67. Must reenact parts of dreams as requested. (ie, wearing white boxer shorts to session)

68. Must never use a timer.

69. Must give you a meaningful gift on your therapeutic birthday.

70. Must hold the therapeutic alliance higher than any other relationships in their life. LOL

71. Must allow himself to be utilized as an object of erotic transference when appropriate and parental transference when appropriate.

72. Must read and follow DocJohn's article on the horrors of using timers.

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Soliaree said:
67. Must reenact parts of dreams as requested. (ie, wearing white boxer shorts to session)

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omg, lol.. yesss haha

73. Ts must be pets to session (I have seen a picture of my Ts dog and I'm obsessed with it, he's so damn cute-- the dog, that is... well, T's not so bad either. lol)

I've been left with no other option but to bring back up this thread. Remember rule number one? Allow me to refresh your memory, if not, LOL

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1) Vacations are not permissible unless you take the patient with you.

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My T is going on a cruise next week WITHOUT ME! This is a clear violation of Rule Number 1. Of course, I will never abandon him over this issue - I know he is not perfect. I'm really concerned that he is going to miss one session - what if he starts feeling hopeless and doesn't have me to run to as a secure base? Hmmm. I might have to set some limits when he gets back, like not allowing him to email me (LOL) or maybe I'll create a boundary for him - it will encircle his office. He is not allowed to cross his own boundary every Tuesday at 3:00 and thus will be there. He is missing out on precious therapy time - I could be teaching him so much. What am I going to do with him, LOL?

I guess I'll post another rule. I'm being very gracious and fair on this one.

RULE 74:
Ts are allowed to take a vacation within the City limits but must adhere to the boundary stated above (different for each client).

I honestly think I'm being very lenient here

I'm not sure if I've posted this or not, but a few months ago, T left his office while I was in there to get water. I had some animal stickers that I had brought home from school, of course there were two hippos. I stuck the two hippos stickers on his tissue box. He noticed them when he got back from vacation and had it prominently displayed on his desk. Well, I asked him where this tissue box was today (the hippo is symbolic of my neediness fragment). He said he discarded it, LOL, because someone had kept throwing up in his office due to anxiety and apparently used the holy tissue box which at that point should have been enshrined. (T may have told a "whopper" on this one - but if so, I have to give him full credit for creativity!) I'm desperately trying to get him to accept this part and he discards it? (I'm not actually angry, I actually am finding this humourous - he has actually done a few things showing me that he does accept it.) How could he let ANYONE use this, though? Doesn't he cherish the transitional objects that I give to him like I do the ones he gives to me? Surely, he must (heh).

RULE 75
Ts will genuinely cherish anything that his client gives to him. He will guard it from vomit and any other destructive substance.

Over and out ---

Soli - you CRACK me up. Love this post.

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Soliaree said:
because someone had kept throwing up in his office due to anxiety

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omgomgomg i seriously just lost it while i was reading this. roflmao hahahahhaahhahaaaa

I am laughing so hard!! I love these rules. How can we get them published and sent to each and every t??

oh soli... send these to the scuffman, would ya? hahahahahahahaha

Why send them to every T?? Just make a mandatory class they have to take and be proficient at (using these as the rubric).

No proficiency, no license to practice.

Rule # ?

T's, may go on vacation under the following circumstances:

IF they go to client's backyard camping in a tent. If they decide on a camping vacation in client's backyard, then they will allow the client to join them for smores at the evening campfire each night. Ahhh roastie toastie campfire with T. I feel better already

OR if they agree to call the client for a 15 minute phone chat mid-week to let them know they (1) have not abandoned the client (2) are still alive (3) are definitely coming back and (4) are thinking about the client.

I literally sent my T an e-mail just now with the following:

NEW THERAPY RULE: NO HVAC SYSTEM REPLACEMENTS ON FRIDAYS.

I had to miss my session today because they were getting their system replaced. Grrrrr.