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#1
Aug 18, 2008, 08:58 AM
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How much of our experience with T is encoded in the tissue of our bodies from our childhood experiences?
I can't take this vacation crap at all. I have been trying like hell to stay grounded. I breathe, read his letter, etc. etc. Nothing lasts long enough. I feel like such a loser. I mean for god sakes I am a grown woman, married with children and a career and my freaking therapist goes on vacation and I am like a little lost girl whose mother is absent. I feel so darned anxious with school starting and T away, as if without him I won't be ready for my first day...like I won't have what I need. This morning I listened to his voice on some saved messages I have and it just made me cry. I feel like I am splintering into a thousand pieces--lots of noise, very little sleep. I can read his note and listen to his voice all I want, but my heart does not know he is coming back. Is it time to begin again?   
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#2
Aug 18, 2008, 09:04 AM
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Sigh, Yes its hard. I've got 3 more weeks to go yet and returned to work myself today, first time since my last session with T almost 2wks ago now. I've given up on trying to console myself and am just living with the pain. I did just lie in the bath and think to myself whether I'm being a self-centred humanbeing and would find more peace if I were to change my thinking from wanting T to hoping shes having a nice time. BUT of course I can't hold onto that, I want her, and I want her now and I know when she returns tis going to be hard and I'm going to go into shut down and it will take weeks to get back to normal again, and, and, and, what options do I Have? F&*king none! I guess I should be grateful I have a wonderful family here, but as you know, that part that wants T don't listen to any reasoning. It hurts and it hurts and it hurts.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#3
Aug 18, 2008, 10:05 AM
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My t triggers that lost litte girl who wants a mother, too.
(((((((((MissCharlotte))))))))) 
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 complic8d"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape." ♥evanescence♥
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#4
Aug 18, 2008, 12:08 PM
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Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrrroooooooowwwwwwwww >^_^<
sending you kittenish purrs from my sleeping cat. yep- my t is also gone. ...goooonnnnneeeee away. back in 3 days, but for all i feel connected at this point, it's like i never met her. ((((((((((((miss)))))))))))))))))
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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