I have been seeing my T for a whole YEAR AND 3 MONTHS WOO HOO! Sadly tomorrow in session I may tell her something that could end our bond. I am going to tell her the truth, I love/lust for her I"m unsure which tho. Please tell me am I doing the right or wrong thing? She's 45 by the way and I'm 18 but look wise she's fresh out of her thirties barely. thoughts hugs anything please.................................i see her tomorrow at 2....help!

Dustin

I think that it *might* be beneficial for you to explore your feelings with her. Plus, I think it only fair for her to truly understand how you are viewing the relationship.

I am concerned though of what you expect out of this disclosure. Do you expect the feelings to be returned to the level that you are feeling them?

I guess, with your mentioning that she is 45 but that she looks younger, makes it sound like you're clinging to the hope that she will love you in a way that I'm afraid would be inappropriate.

I do hope there is discussion. And that if there is love there, she can explain how you can LOVE without being IN LOVE.

[emilyjeanne]

Hi Dustin,

Therapists are trained to deal with this sort of transference. I encourage you to talk about your feelings.

Good Luck

[Behindthecouch]

Hi Dustin,

I have to agree with the others - you should talk to her about these feelings and work them through in therapy. Don't expect her to fall in to your arms though - these feelings are common in the therapeutic situation and though all good therapists know how to deal with it, there are very strong ethical guidelines and boundaries which must be maintained to protect both you and her from emotional damage and legal consequences.

But yes, there can be love without "acting-out" the transference. I'm sure she'll be able to help you through it.

Best of luck - let us know how it goes

BTC

[MissCharlotte]

HI Dustin,

Good luck today. It's always a good idea to discuss whatever is on our minds with T. I'm glad you have arrived at a place where you feel safe enough to do this. You know, even though we will never have a physical relationship with our T's and they won't run away with us, we do have a loving one and the feelings of desire are not easy to sort through. Maybe through conversations with T, she can help you to decipher this.

(((((Dustin)))))))

Let us know how you make out, okay?

[ECHOES]

Have a good session today, Dustin

I think you are wise and brave to tell her what you feel. Exploring it will help you grow as a person and bring you more insight into it and may give you some relief, yet still holding onto the loving feelings you have for her.

I did it! I told her and she replied by saying I always knew you had a "crush" on me after all thats what we therapists do....try to read our clients feelings and emotions. In turn she said no I am not going to walk away from you for feeling that way I will help you through it. Though at the end of session something ticked she said I will be out of office until monday I'm going to Canada with a friend.........my heart dropped see I have this other "obsession" in which I see her car at her office and I'm fine if I don't I'm screwed but not really its just a reaction of the mind. Anyway thanks for the support I just can't believe I did it.

[ECHOES]

Congrats, Dustin!!! Ya did it--that was brave and you did it!

You said: she said no I am not going to walk away from you for feeling that way I will help you through it.

Keep focusing on the wonderful reassurance she gave you.
She will be back and you and she will continue.

When my T recently went away for a week, she told me that she finds it helps her to take vacations because it helps her be more creative in her therapy. That was a nice positive to hold on to while she was away.

How did it feel to tell her and how do you feel now about having told her?

[bipolar_bear]

How brave of you Dustin. I am so happy you brought up the subject and you can work on it together. Awesome.

BB