I talked about the flashback.

Thanks for all of you who gave me feedback on talking about flashbacks with your T. I dropped something in the mail to him after that, because it's far easier to write than it is to talk. Working on that, but far from there yet.

We talked about it today, and part of it was interesting because he was able to give me some examples in which if I looked at other people in similar situations I would seem them differently than I see myself. But then as he discussion went on I started noticing I couldn't breathe, like my throat was closing up. I could hear him talking, but that was about it, and I didn't even know if I should open my mouth to tell him so. Too polite to interrupt? Maybe. I did eventually say something...yay me...lol.

Then at the end, he told me to feel free to call him if I needed to during the week. All I could think of was MissC's post about what constitutes an emergency. I agree that perhaps my limbs would have to be falling off for me to think I had the right to initiate a call like that...lol. We shall see.

vienna.

(((vienna)))

congrats on opening up to your T. i'm glad you found it helpful, but am not surprised at your sort of... claustrophobic? reaction. the first time i told my pdoc (not too long ago) i completely broke out into a cold sweat. it was gross, my shirt was sticking to my back and everything. eww.

how are you feeling now that you've told him?

yay for you for speaking up when you were feeling anxious -well done - give yourself a pat on the back - that was a hard thing to do and you did it! I would insert a load of clapping smileys here if we had them!

The phone thing - try to think if my friend was feeling like this would i tell her to ring her T? thats how i got to ring my old one - its hard - i can write what i want to say much easier than say it - if not then next time you see your T say hmmm this phone number ? when should i use it? maybe he would give you some guidelines - you never know till you ask

take care P7

p.s., first time i rang my T I coldnt say anything he was talking to dead air - then eek! the first thing i said was "oh for gods sake just say something!" then i had to say "not you say somthing me! 'double eek ! LOL now though!

(((((((vienna)))))))

Kuddos to you!

Talking about previous trauma- especially that which revisits you unexpectedly is so hard. I have yet to do it. I have wanted to but the fear is too big.

Good job! That's a big step. I too find it much easier to write instead of talk about things. Don't wait until you're feeling extremely desperate to make the call to your T. I am the same way as you and would think, maybe someone worse off than me needs to talk to them or what if he's busy? But that's their job. You have every right to call.

It will get easier. Great job.

Vienna, I know this must have been very hard, but you took a really courageous step. Good for you!

Thanks, everyone. deliquesce, to answer your question...how do I feel after telling him? At the moment I'm not all that comfortable with having told him but my degree of comfort with it seems to change by the day, so hopefully it will improve? The other thing is the flashback itself and my thinking around it feels like it has burst out in ways I hadn't expected. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe this is what he meant when he said to be aware it would be sitting in a different place in my brain now that we had talked about it.