DELI NEEDS HUGS FROM EVERYONE PLZ reply

Deli, many hugs and safe thoughts. keep up the good work.

Just took my pills, too, so I'll be useless at the keyboard in a couple of minutes.

p.s. I want some cakes, too, of course.

p7 and simcha and impy can alll have cakes. and everyone else who comes to austraya.

i hav e taken moroe drugs because i think theyre really out to ge t me tonight. nmy front door wont close so obviously someone came and dismtantled the lock when i was in th garden and now it wont close so they're going to come tonight.

so its a n eraly night for deli and hoping they wont come. i put a chair and a door stop there but i dont knw what to do when the door tdoesnt lcose. i dont think you call the police for this but i don tknow who you do calll. and its late so now one will come i think apart from the police mbut im in my pjs oso i took more meds and im going to dtrey to sleep now.

goood luck weveryeone..

deli

Hope you're doing ok

Take Care

Deli, you're doing a great job keeping in touch with us. Please keep doing so.

Sorry to hear that some of the unsafe things are going on with you.

How about calling your grandparents and letting them check out the door? Maybe one of them can fix it. Or a neighbor or friend?

Stay safe. You’ll be o.k. I hope things go well tomorrow with pdoc.

I'd call the police if someone was out to get you.
More pills doesn't equal better, and is actually quite dangerous to your health. Can't your Pdoc help you? What about your grandparents?

hope you saw pdoc today and that things look better in the daylight - is there someone you can call who can look at the door? if you rent then the agent should do that for you -

Hope today is better P7

pdoc loves me i know but he's scared. he wants me to start effexor.

he's on a different page to me, i think. he keeps wanting to talk about uni stuff, maybe because that is the safest thing for him to grasp onto. acknowledges that im having bizarre thoughts, but didnt ask about them and i wanted to share about them.

also wanted to talk a bit about the abuse stuff that has been killing me, but i dont think that is going to happen.

he is doing all the right things - new meds, available on phone, seeing me again on thursday - but i dont think it is helping.

its ok but i dont want to be strong anymore. and now i feel trapped because i know pdoc cares, and i dont want to hurt him. but he's the only person irl who cares, and that's pretty shameful. it's just hard because i feel so alone.

i wish i had my old T still on side because he could stay with me through this but obviously that ended for a reason.

i work wiht 2 people - one is on efexor and the others husband is on efexor after being on other meds - both say it has made a huge difference for them and that they are feeling so much better -

pdoc is not the only one IRW who cares about you - your grandparents do dont they. so its not just pdoc and if the number of friends you have here is anything to go by there are many others irl who care for you
Im glad you are seeing pdoc thurs - if you need a T can he suggest one - I know the last one was a dud but there are others out there that are good -

I want you to be good to you and take care of you and be as nice to you as if you were talking to another person here - I want you to be safe Deli - please take care of you P7

Deli, you've made progress in the past few days. You need to tell pdoc about the "bizarre thoughts." Those are very, very important to deal with immediately. You can get to some of the other stuff soon enough, but keeping safe from those thoughts is really important, I think. Can you send a simple letter and explain about them and why/that you want to talk about them? You could even print out some of your posts from here about your fears of voices and others. That way you could get to it on Thurs. and if he wanted to do anything before then, he could. As the saying goes “He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know” so you have to take the reins to tell him. Could you drop it off still today?

People in real life do care about you. When someone is getting therapy, it can be really hard for people who don't understand the process to relate to us. It’s not that they don't care; they just can't understand what we're going through. Unfortunately we're the ones who have to be understanding and recognize that it's not in their ability or experiences to know how we are experiencing life. It's a double burden on us.

So hows things?

Deli, how are you doing?

hi guys,

pdoc again tomorrow. im not taking meds like i should. this isnt fair to anyone so i'm gonna stay away for a while until i pull myself together.

xo deli

What's not fair? If you were insulting people or something that affected another person personally, that could be inappropriate, but telling us what's up with you is healthy. We (I) want to know. The point here is to connect with people, and you're doing a great job of it. You have very serious things going on right now. All of us do at various times. That's when we most need to seek and give support.

You’re a great, funny, kind person. We need more people like you.

Awwww, don't stay away. Then we will miss you!

Sending you big safe hugs Deli ((((((((((((((((((((DELI)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hangingon

((((((((((deli))))))))))

You don't have to feel like you should stay away for now.
Everyone here cares, no one wants you to go.

Take Care

Deli, how are you? Things go well with pdoc?

thanks guys.

i'm back on meds. pdoc talked me into trying lithium. so i'm trying that.

where i am now, i don't care if it works. i'm just going through the motions. ive had enough.

but thank you all for leaving the door still open here.

((((((((((((((((DELI)))))))))))))))))))
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Im glad you're trying the new meds and I hope they work for you - keep in touch Deli - we are here to help if you need us

What I've always told myself: You need to try and then exhaust every option until you deem yourself beyond help.

Have you tried and exhausted everything that could possibly be tried? I know you've been hurting really badly the past few weeks, but there options that you haven't tried yet. I finally consented a few years ago to doing ECT and it really helped.

Let us know how you're doing.

thank you P7 and simcha and impy , you guys are my hug circle.

the lithium is making me feel really nauseous. i saw pdoc today and he suggested starting to take them at night instead so i can sleep through it. so he's written me out a new schedule to get me taking it at night. he also gave me some anti-nausea pills in case i'm feeling too crook in the morning, and he said to call him if i needed to take them because he wanted to know.

he is also going to get me on some dexamphetamine to help with my complete lack of energy. so that might be good, but at the same time it seems a bit scary. i cant find much info on it from australia, and especially not for depression.

i am doing slightly better. maybe just feeling sick has taken my mind off things, lol. i am not too hopeful that meds are the answer (or ect, as you brought up, imp) because i think a lot of my depression atm is cognitive, and drugs won't help that. anyway, we'll see, it seems. pdoc was able to help a bit today, kind of shifting my views a tiny bit.

it is my last day of work at one of my jobs tomorrow, so i'm looking forward to that. will be nice to have some time off next week, i'm so tired. but uni the week after, so we'll see how it goes. atm, it doesn't look like i can commit to it just yet.

((((((((((DELI))))))))))) Hang in there Deli!!!1

DELI
You sound like a toughy, you can do this, just try and take your time.