DELI NEEDS HUGS FROM EVERYONE PLZ reply

Im glad you are feeling a bit better today - if the meds are in a sealed container there should not be any meds.

I hope your family come over tonight I think you could do with the contact - Please take care of you and I hope pdoc rings you back

pdoc just called back. he said to take some of my meds but i told him im scared there's bugs in them so he said ok, he will ring the pharmacy where he works and get them to give me some new meds. i'm glad he didnt make me check. he also said he will give me some other meds to help calm me down so if the old ones dont stop all the craziness that at least i wont be strung out by it.

so now im going to have some lunch and then go and get my med package. im so relieved pdoc called. i will probably take some meds and then get my grandparents to come over tonight.

Sounds like a plan im glad pdoc rang back - he's worth keeping! and so are you

Big hug Deli! Please hang in!

((((deli))))

I am glad you talked to your pdoc!and that you are feeling a bit better

--LLT

Yay! What a great plan - lunch, new meds, and visitors. Good for you

((((((((((((((((Deli)))))))))))))))))))))))

Wishing you much peace, hope you feel better soon

You will make it, Deli.

Your grandparents don't need to know what your issues are. You can just tell them you're stressed out and a little down.

Sounds like you're good action to help yourself. Check back in and let us know how you're doing.

(((((((((((((((((((Deli))))))))))))))))))))
yay!!!! kep posting!!!

(((deli))) You are in my thoughts.

Wishing you a lovely evening with your grandparents and a sleep filled with wonderful dreams - take care P7

thank you all so much everyone for your continuing support. i am sorry i haven't replied to everyone who has been sending me pms, i will get around to it when i'm in a better head space.

i went to the pharmacy and they gave me the meds. i havent taken them yet - i want to read up on them a bit first, but i will do that after this post and then take them. they are ativan and zyprexa, if anyone knows anything about them.

my grandparents came over and just left. i cooked them dinner and it was nice. i think i calmed down a lot just knowing i had meds, so i got through ok without them noticing anything amiss. there was a ladder in the hallway though, so i had to explain that i was trying to take the fire alarm down because it kept going off.

i am a bit scared about taking the meds because they will make me dozey, and i need to be alert in case anyone comes tonight. i'm having a hard time keeping track of what's real and not real.

not real = people coming to get me tonight. i think.
so, real = taking medicines to calm down about the non-threat.

yes?

my dogs are outside now but i will probably bring them in again tonight and sleep in the family room like last night.

im sorry for rambling on so much but it feels good to keep going on like this. stops me from being trapped inside my head so much.

pdoc said on the phone that we will change my meds (the anti-depressants i'm on) when i see him on monday. he says they obviously aren't working enough for me to get into this state. so he is suggesting that i stay on the edronax, and start lithium and dexampetamine also. he only gave me enough zyprexa and ativan to last me until monday. i have stopped taking my meds (lovan + edronax) like we compromised, but i guess with the new drugs i'm not entirely med-free. but i guess not taking my regular meds could explain the blah headache and nausea i've been feeling today.

ok, enough rambling from me for now. if anyone is still reading this far and has the time, could you send some safe thoughts my way tonight? im still scared about the people coming back but i really need some sleep so i will take the new meds.

(((((everyone))))))

xo deli

Im sending you lots of safe vibes - those ferocious puppies of yours will protect you - I asked an angel to watch over you tonight and he said he would - so Deli is safe

What I do when i dont feel safe is - and this is gowing to get a bit strange so bear with me - I check all the doors and windows - tell my attack kitties to keep an ear out for me - then I imagine setting a force shield around my flat that will keep it safe til the morning (see I said it would get strange! but then I am strange so it fits LOL)

Your pups would hear if anyone came in and would let you know so you are safe - they would protect you - so you are safe - you willhave checked all the doors and windows - so you are safe - you will have set an invisible shield about your flat/house - so you are safe - my angels will keep an eye on you - (from outside - no peeping!) so you are safe - and we all care for you here and are sending protecting vibes your way - so you are safe.

Sleep well - you did well this evening - I bet it was good to see your grandparents - and you cooked dinner - thats great ! now give those puppies a hug and get some sleep. P7

in harry potter (the last book) they set a force shield around one of the safe houses so only the good guys could come in! i was trying to describe to pdoc what the people were like and all i could say were like shadows and dementors, so a force shield is a good idea, thank you P7.

and yes, that is a good point about my pups being able to hear the real people. so i will take the medicines and they can let me know if i need to worry.

thank you for your thoughts P7, they are wrapping around me like a blanket and keeping me safe (but not warm - we don't need anything to add to the heat here, hey? ).

xo deli

Deli, I've been on Zyprexa in the past but can't recall what my issue with it was.

Ativan has been one of the top anti-anxiety meds for decades. Many, many people take it--it's not just for mental health issues. Mybrother with MS takes it.

I had great results with using it. I used it in the past to help sleep, but my insurance won't cover it now.

You are in touch with reality. You just fear people coming, but they won't. You'll be safe.

You're doing the right things. Despite the great stress you're under you're really taking care of yourself.

You’re not rambling. You're telling us about your difficult situation in very direct, careful, rational terms. We want to hear from you.

You're on track.

I hear those Aussie dogs can be pretty tough cookies. They can protect you. You’ll be safe.

I will keep you safe in my thoughts until the morning when the sun will rise on a beautiful new day

and hopefully not so hot - although Ive heard its going to be hotter - sorry you guys that have snow! but the heat is just as bad in a different way and at least in the cold you can put more clothes on - there are only so many clothes you can take off before you get arrested! - or pushed back into the water by greenpeace in my case LOL

take care of you Miss D - P7

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Deli)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You are doing great I hope you sleep (slept?) well!!

Dear Deli,

No idea what time it is in Australia but I think the sun is up now where you are, & all is well.
here's a big hug for you (we have brown bears & black where I live)

sounds like you are really doing a good job hanging in there. Be sure to keep us posted when you can!

EEK Bears! it's 5 past 11 at night here so Deli should be safe and asleep - and having wonderful dreams I hope - night everyone P7

yikes, I meant "bears" as in bear hugs, silly. Nobody around here ever actually SEES one, they're way up in the mountains. sorry! it's very early here and obviously I need some coffee.... goodnight P7

Hope you're doing ok

well it was late at night here - so thats my excuse!

Deli I expect you are off at uni or work? but just wanted to let you know I am still thinking of you and sending you healing vibes - let us know how you are doing P7

hi guys,

P7 - nope, i just woke up! don't have anything planned for today, so just a bit of bumming around, maybe go to the shops for groceries if i am up for it.

the noises started coming back again last night but i took my meds and they knocked me out pretty quick smart. so these are definitely good ones to hang on to. i still feel a bit sluggish this morning (eep! 12.01 - it's just hit midday) but i can handle feeling sluggish if it means i don't have to be terrified all through the night.

i checked my phone this morning and poor pdoc had left 2 message from yesterday and the day before. i feel so cared for right now - he never calls between sessions. the message from wednesday was just to tell me to call him if i needed him and that we would work through this together. yesterday's message was just to check how the meds were going and to tell me to call him again if i needed him before monday. i feel special because i know he's on a break until monday, so it's touching that he still has time for me.

thanks again for all the warm thoughts and hugs, guy. i love youse all .