Ok, I think I am about to call T.

I have a lot going on right now. My never seemed to react emotionally since my dad died

I have a lot going on right now. My never seemed to react emotionally since my dad died (and she is the one who found him on the bathroom floor). She just revealed, two days ago, that she has been having severe anxiety for the last month, with panic attacks. (She had panic disorder in the past-- about ten years ago, and was treated for it, and no longer met the criteria). Aside from this, she has other psychological problems. Although we live in different states, I am basically parenting her.

*I am sure it is even harder to have a spouse die, reacting emotionally seems to be normal reaction to something this hard. It is okay to show emotions of grief, in fact it is very healthy.

My sister lives about 10 minutes from my mom. She is feeling the burden and I understand that. My sister can be very histrionic at times. She will call me up at times, hysterically crying, telling me that she wishes she was dead. She does this for attention.

* could be for attention, I am not sure what this has to do with feeling the burden of your mom. I know what it is like to be the only one to take care of someone, when another sibling lives in another state who tells my husband and I that it can't be THAT bad.

I am working my butt off in doctoral school and working my butt off as a therapist.

*Yes you are, and it is tough, I know, but it doesn't diminish what your family is feeling and how they are dealing with the death of your father.

My mother has been smoking for about 50 years. She wheezes a lot, and gets out of breath. She just told me that lately she has been experiencing pressure in her diaphragm and gets out of breath. She hasn't been to the doctor in twelve million years. When my sister offered to take her this past Saturday, my mom said, "I'm not ready yet." When I talked to my mom about the importance of going to a doctor, she said, "I'll think about it." Now she says she might go next Saturday, but with my mother... she says things, but doesn't follow through.

*It sounds like your sister is trying to help, it must be frustrating to her also. It sounds like you both feel the same way about this.

My father stopped taking care of himself and he let himself die. I can't go through this again with my mother.

*I don't know what you dad died from, but do you really think he let himself die? That is a really strong comment about your dad, are you angry at him for this? I hear a lot of anger.

I am a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding and I totally forgot to order pick out and order the dress this weekend. I don't know if it's too late now. I don't even want to be in the wedding. I am tired and just want to be left alone sometimes.

*It sounds like you are also not functioning as well as you want, like your mom, like your sister. This was your friend, and you say you don't even want to be in her wedding, and that you forgot to get your dress ordered. Why didn't you just tell her no, you don't want to be in her wedding? If I was your friend, these actions and feelings would be very hurtful, and I am sure they come across. This is her big day, and she deserves to have a great day with friends who are supportive and care about her wedding. If you can't do this, you should have stepped out. Plus it would be one less thing on your plate.

I know my mom can't control what is happening to her, but she can certainly get help. I understand my sister's frustration. But I also wish that they would realize that I lost my dad, the most important person to me (my sister is actually his step-daughter and they had a relationship, but not a close one. It was very rocky at times, and they would have long episodes of not even speaking).

*It just seems to me that you are qualifying your grief and your reactions to it, but you just don't want to be compassionate about your mom and your sister's grief, because your relationship with your dad was "better".

I think I really need to unload. T said I can call his voicemail and say whatever I want. I wish that I could go to session earlier than Thursday, but that is just not possible. A phone session is not possible either. I doubt I would even get to speak with him tomorrow if he was to call back.

*It sounds like you need to talk to your T, but like your sister and mom, you are not doing what is best for you, and taking care of yourself.
I am not trying to be harsh with you, but I just see a lot of the same behaviors between you, your mom, and your sister. You are all grieving, you all need to take care of yourselves, and it seems like nobody wants to do what is best for them.