[musikcrazy]

My therapist (after seven long months) is encouraging me to talk about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. We are supposed to 'start this process' next week. Can anyone tell me what to expect or how to talk about this? Thanks!

[chaotic13]

A.lot of tongue tied awkward moments. But hopefully in the end, healing. Remember if your not ready to talk about something there is alway the next session.

[deliquesce]

(((musik)))

you'll always be the one who is in control, and the one who gets to set the pace. i only started talking about "it" after 4 long years . seven months and i would still be sussing my T out!

it's been difficult, but it's been healing. i only talked about it for a few sessions and then we stopped, because i didn't want to go further. there is a lot more work to be done in that area, but i want to let it sit for a while. my doc has been awesome with that, though - lets me know i can choose when to bring it up again, etc. last week he asked me about it directly, because i was very triggered by something that had recently happened, but i couldn't tell him, and i just shook my head, and he said it was ok. maybe i will tell him this week, maybe i won't. either way it will be ok.

as to the specifics of how it works out - a lot of that depends on the orientation of your therapist. do you know what type she/he is?

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by musikcrazy

My therapist (after seven long months) is encouraging me to talk about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. We are supposed to 'start this process' next week. Can anyone tell me what to expect or how to talk about this? Thanks!

Please don't think that just because 7 months have passed that you've been in therapy that you "should" be discussing anything particular. Time. Pace. Don't allow the T to drag anything out of you, and let your T slow you down if you begin to share a lot in one session. You might regret saying so much.

I think, to begin with, the acknowledgment that stuff happened to you that should not have, is a start. You don't even have to say who, what, when, nor where. Until you are ok thinking and saying stuff happened, I wouldn't push any farther.

Sometimes the slower you go, the faster you get there. (Meaning, if you go too fast, the time it takes to heal from that, and regain trust and momentum, it would have been faster to go slowly all the time. Tortoise and the hare effect.)

You need to know you control the session's discussions. Your T's questions might best be more along the lines of... is that something you want to talk about further now or not? Feel free to shake your head no, and move on.

[chaotic13]

Talking about the past has been very difficult for me. I still have a lot of trouble verbalizing things and honestly I still have a lot of trouble when my T sometimes verbalizes it for me. I am really thankful my T is not pushing me. I've been allowed find my own way to get things out (drawing, writing, squirming). I would recommend that you not limit yourself to just talking. I think therapy and processing stuff is a totally individualize process. PC is a great place to exchange ideas but how you use them is up to you.

I agree that you need to know that you can move at your own pace, and only tell as much as you want to. I am working through the same thing right now, and I have to take it SLOWLY or I get flooded and overwhelmed in between sessions. Sometimes a sentence or two about it is all I can handle in a session. And many sessions we don't talk about it at all.

((((((((((((((((((((((((musik)))))))))))))))))))))))) most of all, just be gentle with yourself.

[mixedup_emotions]

I am going to be delving into this as well, so I feel the anxiety of not knowing how it actually works. What's the process and how do you heal from it? I am curious to know those same answers....

A couple sessions ago, I started to talk to my T about past SA...and he asked me a bunch of questions to get me to talk about certain parts of it. I was uncomfortable, but I had always felt that the incident was not that big of a deal. Yes, I was scared to death - being locked in a warehouse - with my boss being the only one with the key - at the age of 14 - and him holding a knife and forcing me to....well....you know....But I always acted like it was no big deal. I talked to T about it, leaving out some embarrassing details that I remember...but still, talking about it pretty openly.

I was left with DAYS of anxiety....the butterflies, a knot in the pit of my stomach, crying at the drop of a dime for no apparent reason, thoughts coming into my head that I didn't want to remember....for DAYS. I had absolutely NO idea that I was going to experience that.

My T said that it's what happens when you bury a trauma. WOW, I had no idea....I truly thought it was no big deal. It happened once, it's over, move on....But I guess that was just my minds way of coping with it. I never really did get through it.....I just buried it.

My T feels that I have a lot on my plate right now and the fact that I went through days of anxiety the last time I talked about the SA, that he feels we should hold off on that until I'm ready.....

Of course, how the heck will I know when I'm ready? I have no clue....

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

My T feels that I have a lot on my plate right now and the fact that I went through days of anxiety the last time I talked about the SA, that he feels we should hold off on that until I'm ready.....

Of course, how the heck will I know when I'm ready? I have no clue....

with me... i am never "ready" . but sometimes it forces itself on me, and that is when we talk. e.g., i had a really bad period of remembering before xmas, so we talked about it a little bit then. i got triggered a few weeks ago, and pdoc wanted to talk about it, but i was too scared it would overwhelm me again, so we decided to hold off. right now, i have too much on my plate to be ok with being overwhelmed. e.g., i have uni assessments i need to get through. but at xmas it was ok, because i didnt have to perform so much. it was ok for me to get overwhelmed then, and pdoc really helped me through it, so it wasnt like i was alone, either.

i think people who go to therapy and can talk about this stuff session after session are so brave. i only do it when i absolutely have to.

[mixedup_emotions]

I honestly thought my situation was "no big deal", that is, until I started talking - actually TALKING - about details of the experience. I didn't quite understand it until last night when he said that I had a lot on my plate. It seems I want too much too fast. He feels I'm making a huge amount of progress - doing things in weeks that take people months or clusters of months....and doesn't want me to be overburdened.

At first, I was anxious to just get it over with so I can start healing....But now I understand what he's trying to say. After bawling my eyes out last night - and again today - over the grief of the end of my marriage....I do have a full plate. I guess I just didn't realize it, because I feel I'm working so hard to move forward and keep wanting to get to what's next.

I guess my point is - take your time and try to deal with traumatic issues when you are not otherwise overwhelmed with other things. That way, you can deal with the process and the feelings associated with it.

I still wish I knew what the process was. I mean, what do you do other than talk about the details of the experience?