Feeling for more than one guy?

Does that make a woman a slut? Or just confused? Or maybe not used to care and confused by it? Help all!

Peace and Love,
Julia
xox

Caring for more than one guy does not make a woman a slut!
Please don't doubt yourself--you are beautiful and intelligent. It sounds like you are being appreciated

In Peace

((((Catherine)))) ...Thanks for this but I don't think I explained myself right. If someone doesn't know what love is and has never had care...how do they know if what they feel for a man who treats them right is love or return care? And if it is love, how can they love more than one man just coz more than one man is treating them right? If it isn't love then how do they know?

Does this sound as confused as I am? And does it make any sense?

If a man is wineing and dining you, then he wants a relationship. If he is doing something like giving you a ride to the gerocery store then he's doing it just to be friendly. You can usual tell if he is interested in a relationship. He will take you out. Hold your hand. Ask you to go on fun trips with him. etc. etc. Just because you like more than one man doesn't make you a slut. If it was me I would just be having fun with it.

wow....that's really true....I've never looked at it this way....

Hey PeePee,

In our modern society, we seem to draw the line at physical affection and sex. That line changes everything. You can be friends with, go places with, eat meals with, spend time with, do most fun friends things with any two, three, four or more guys you want to. (As long as someone doesn't get po'd about it.) But once you cross that line and create a physical relationship with one of them, things change. People can argue that point until hell and back but it's true. Sex changes everything. If you were sleeping with all four of those guys, then you're a slut. LOL But, if one of them wants a more exlusive relationship and you agree because you like him the best and he treats you the best and you kiss him and your little piglet toes curl, then you have a boyfriend. Then he gets the privilege to complain about how much time you spend with those other three dudes!

But seriously, have lots of guy friends. Let them be nice, extra nice, to you. YOU DESERVE IT.

Hi VIP

Thanks for this!

I do have a lot of guy friends and mostly we just hang. Thing is they all know I love them all to pieces and would do anything for them, but they all know I would never even think of having sex with them, it's not that kind of a relationship. But we also got nothing against hugging each other all night if one is upset or sad, got nothing against "kinky" dancing in the club etc., and we're not shy about saying "Luv Ya" either. For me, I'm just more at ease with guys than women being I grew up around guys and women were aliens

But occassionally a new guy comes on the scene and takes my "ease" or "love" for him the wrong way. (Can't help that I'm a loving person) And there are occassions when I get closer to one guy than others, and vice versa, and if I've already got a bf around then I get confused. Like how can I feel strongly for one guy when I'm already with another? I've also had problems in the past staying faithful when some guy has given me big attention that the bf hasn't been. ...That is being slutty, right?

Again, thanks for this, it does help.

If you have a bf, and your not getting your needs meet, than you should tell him. Men are sometimes clueless when it comes to getting your needs meet. They think different than women. Now I do think that if your in a relationship where you have deep feelings for a certain guy than you might want to back off a little bit from the other guys. I'm not saying give up the friendships. Just let your relationship grow with the bf. I don't think that your slutty. What I think or anyone else thinks is not up to us to decide. The way I see it if something makes you feel uncomfortable than you shouldn't do it.

This is where I fail with every bf. I got no problem talking openly with guys but bf's are another matter. I tend to bottle things up with a bf. Till my gasket blows or things fall apart. Maybe I should learn to write things down in relationships and hand it to over to be read when I'm not there.

Thanks for this advice though, it's all useful insight.

I know that can be very hard to show that your vulnerable. I have had this problem to. Your afraid that he will hurt that side of you. I still think that you should tell your bf when your not getting what you need. If you feel better writing it down that is good. I have had to do this also. When you start trusting him than you will be able to start telling him. Men feel love to when you tell them what you need. They start falling more in love when the feel your emotions.

The difference is intimacy. With guy friends, there's an unspoken boundry. There's a bumper. But with a bf, you have the additional intimacy factor and for those of us who have issues, trouble with intimacy is not unusual. We are vulnerable in a way that we don't share with our friends. It is scarey. My hubby has always told me I keep things bottled up. For a very long time, I denied it. It's only been in the past two years that I truly can see it and have actively been working to improve it. With me, I had many, many years where I learned not to trust. And I paid dearly because of it.

If you take things slowly and share with bf how hard it is, perhaps it will get better.

Also: just because you and bf have an exclusive relationship, that won't stop you caring for another person. It is only human. Part of being an adult and learning how to have adult relationships is the committment part. I have heard people say, I may be married but I'm not dead. Naturally, you are going to meet guys who you care about. But because you and bf have agreed to be exclusive, it's an honor thing. Sometimes that's what it comes down to. I know it's easier said than done but don't be so hard on yourself for having feelings or for caring. If you meet someone who you feel really strongly about, then it's time to search your soul and decide what you need to do about it. But don't put yourself down just because you feel something. It's what you do that's important.