[Marc123]

My wife suffers from schizophrenia and she's 3 breakdown within the past 3 years, each of which has resulted in a psychiatric hospitalization. She does practice "alternative treatment methods," including meditation, exercise, she's even tried hypnosis. However, when she is not on medication slowly, but surely, her symptoms (delusion, paranoia, hallucinations) begin to bubble up until she becomes COMPLETELY irrational.

We have discussed this many times together but she still refuses to take psychiatric medication. I have found a psychiatrist who specializes in "alternative treatment methods" but she also refuses to see him too.

This has made for a terrible strain on our marriage. In fact, a few months she ago left me to return to her family. She comes back to me in early October.

Any suggestions/comments will be welcomed.

Thank you.

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by Marc123

My wife suffers from schizophrenia and she's 3 breakdown within the past 3 years, each of which has resulted in a psychiatric hospitalization. She does practice "alternative treatment methods," including meditation, exercise, she's even tried hypnosis. However, when she is not on medication slowly, but surely, her symptoms (delusion, paranoia, hallucinations) begin to bubble up until she becomes COMPLETELY irrational.

We have discussed this many times together but she still refuses to take psychiatric medication. I have found a psychiatrist who specializes in "alternative treatment methods" but she also refuses to see him too.

This has made for a terrible strain on our marriage. In fact, a few months she ago left me to return to her family. She comes back to me in early October.

Any suggestions/comments will be welcomed.

Thank you.

Welcome to PC, Marc.

Wow. What a mess. It can be so hard when a loved one refuses to take their medication. It is especially dangerous when they become psychotic.

Does she drive? If she does, I believe (not sure, so don't quote me) that this can become a legal issue. If she refuses to take her medication but also wants to drive, then the courts can become involved and order her to take it. I think this is correct. If anyone out there in PC land knows about this, please post and correct me. I don't want to put false information out.

I'm not sure what your other options are. Perhaps some of the other members of our community will post more information for you.

Keep your chin up. I personally know people who don't like to take pharmaceuticals and prefer "natural" medicines and remedies. That's all well and good but I personally have never heard of a natural remedy for schizophrenia.

If someone else has, please help Marc.

[jerrymichele]

Welcome to pc. I'm not really sure on something like this. So what I would do is send DocJohn a pm, or I would scroll down to Clyde's Corner, and ask him.

[justfloating]

hi Marc, welcome to PC

Have you asked your wife why she doesn't want to take her meds? If she has any specific concerns -- side effects, fear of dependence, cost, etc -- then maybe you could find a way to address each one separately in order to make her feel a bit more secure.

A lot of people don't want to take meds because they're afraid of what it means. There is such a stigma attached to mental illness that to be prescribed medication because your MIND is sick is just too difficult for many people to handle, more shameful than the illness itself. It's a scary thought that you might need to be on medication for a long time (if not the rest of your life) just to be stable and "normal". It took me a long time to get medicated for depression because I was afraid of what it would mean if I started taking medicine for a mental illness. It would make it official, it would mean that I really was different from everybody else, that I really did have something terribly wrong with me, and for a long time I was so ashamed I couldn't face that and preferred to keep on suffering instead. I set back my recovery by months because of that fear. Make sure you stress to your wife that her illness is nothing to be ashamed of, and you want her to take her meds because you don't want to see her suffer any more, not because you're in any way ashamed of who she is when she's not on them. It can be very difficult for people suffering from a mental illness to come to terms with the fact that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know your wife or what she's thinking, that's just the way I'd probably feel if I were in her position.

Keep us posted on how things are going, and good luck with everything.

[VickiesPath]

Hi Marc,

I re-read what I posted above. I don't think I made sense. The driver's license thing.....the motor vehicle people may refuse to let her have a license if they know she hallucinates. But the point at which the courts become involved would probably be if it becomes necessary for her to be committed to a hospital involuntarily. I'm pretty sure about these things.

In our modern society, it's often difficult if one doesn't have a driver's license. You could use that as leverage in trying to get her to medicate. It is not a wise thing for her to drive if there is danger of psychosis. It is not safe for her or others.

Hope this clarifies things a little. Good luck.

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by Marc123

We have discussed this many times together but she still refuses to take psychiatric medication. I have found a psychiatrist who specializes in "alternative treatment methods" but she also refuses to see him too.

This has made for a terrible strain on our marriage. In fact, a few months she ago left me to return to her family. She comes back to me in early October.

Any suggestions/comments will be welcomed.

Thank you.

Marc, hi and welcome to PC.

Very tough situation you are in, and I salute your honesty in seeking advice.

A few things you said gave me pause, and I'd like to ask you about them...I offer my apology if I offend you. I'm sharing my experience only.

It's a good sign that she is returning to you in a few weeks. I believe it shows she wants to try and work things out...
Do you know if she was stable while she stayed with her family? If so, you may want to think about the dynamics that were different there as opposed to the two of you being together.

The side effects of some of these drugs are potentially extremely hard to handle. Her desire to try the alternative route has been tried by many others; some have been quite successful, others have not.
It's good that you found a psychiatrist who tries alternative treatment protocol. But it is possible she felt you were pushing her into seeing him, perhaps she saw it as taking away some of her choice...has she shared why she refuses to see him?
Perhaps a calm talk about it would help...no pressure, just listening with respect as to what her reservations are about it.
As an aside, have you checked the credentials of this physician? Please make sure of his training/expertise in these methods...reassuring not only your wife but yourself that there may indeed be something worth trying.

My irl experience was that alternative methods were good as an adjunct treatment...I have seen patients be able to take less medications or lower dosages because they did use various methods.

It may also be a good idea for you to seek counseling for yourself. It would help you sort out the myriad of feelings you are probably experiencing from the situation. Sometimes stepping back from it and sharing with a knowledgeable professional will give you greater insight and help you focus on what you need to do for you...

Chronic illness, physical and mental, affect everyone involved. Marc, you have to take care of yourself, also.
You love her enough to want her stable, please love yourself enough to get guidance.

There is love between you and your wife; her coming back to you and your concern about her is obvious...

My best wishes for this to be resolved with love and respect.

In Peace

[mrm3601]

Thank you so much for your responses. She refuses to take psychiatric medications because her EX-husband forcibly hospitalized her. She's told me that the police were called, she was put in handcuffs, and she was taken to a psych unit in California (we live in New York). She firmly believes, and I agree with her to her some extent, that her rights were violated. I would never pursue any kind of a court order to force her take medications because, most likely, that would mean the end of our marriage.

She returns to me from Romania on October 8th. She was psychiatrically hospitalized here for 2 weeks, and she was put on Invega (a form of Risperdal). Even though there's a depot injection (once/month I believe) she refuses this too. While in the hosptal, the medication clouded her thinking. This let up as the days went buy but it remained with her. She did become more rational, however. She was given scripts upon leaving but she didn't fill them. I'm well aware of side effects of psychiatric medications: I've suffered from major depression since the age of 20 and I continue to be on antidepressant medication. I have an excellent psychiatrist now.

It's not as if she's psychotic continuously, not at all. Rather, she goes through cycles of being fine for 6 or 7 months at a time and then her symptoms begin. When they do begin it becomes EXTREMELY difficult for her and for me. I would like to start psychotherapy myself and it might be appropriate for the both of us to see the same person, as a couple. She was seeing a good psychotherapist but eventually she stopped going.

Adding to our troubles is the bad economy: she's an engineer and she hasn't been able to find a job in her field for years. She's therefore worked part time jobs (not in her field). But, even when she did work as an engineer here (married to me) she had a major breakdown.

Thanks again. Any comments will be appreciated.

[Catherine2]

Marc,
It's apparent to me that you have a good understanding of your situation...but need input to clear up some doubts and fears, perhaps regain focus. There are many layers you are trying to work through...

Please consider starting therapy so you will feel somewhat comfortable with the therapist before your wife returns. When she does return, it may be that you will be more prepared for it.
It's so very important for you to take care of yourself.

Couples therapy is challenging but rewarding as I'm sure you know. It's a good way to negotiate, compromise, and re-establish honest communication.

In many ways, your frustration and hurt are showing...and you have every right to feel this way. The woman you love is hurting herself and you...finding ways to change this is going to be complex. One thing at a time is hard...
I'm glad you have a pdoc and are knowledgeable about the medication side effects. Would your pdoc recommend therapists that he/she knows are well qualified in their fields?

My best wishes for you to get the things in place that you need so the two of you will be content more times than not,

In Peace
Catherine

jmo

[mrm3601]

Thank you Cathernine2, for your sensitive reply.

Yes, I will start psychotherapy. My psychiatrist has referred me and I'll be contacting him for an initial appointment.

Than you.

[Catherine2]

Marc,
Thank you for sharing and letting us know how you are...

PC is a good community for support but it's also a place where people are honest with each other...in a kind and loving way.
We give, we get.
You've given us food for thought in our own relationships, and for this, I thank you.

My instinct...poor way of putting it, but I think you and your wife are going to come through this and find joy in being together.

In Peace

[mrm3601]

Thank you gain, Catherine2, for your kinds. After my wife comes here I'll be using the PC at my office to post.

She is "nervous" is about coming back, and to be honest, even though I'm a bit "nervous" too, I'm nearly as much as she is.

I love her very much and she does love me. This is the very best thing we have.

[DocClyde]

I really feel that the medication issue is key. What does she say when you mention it to her?

I really, truthfully feel she needs to be on it.

She could be dangerous to herself and others...what does she say to you when you mention it?

[mrm3601]

She says to me that she will not take psychiatric medication again. This is not only disappointing and disturbing for me. To a great extent, I fear for her, my, and our future. I agree that medication is crucial for her. With the proper medication and the other recovery techniques she practices, I would hope that the chances of yet another psychotic episode would become slim.

However, we don't know what will happen in the future. It could be that she will change her mind. It could be too, that if she agrees to engage in psychotherapy, with or without me, that she will change her mind also.

She is fine now and finally she comes back to me from her family in Europe within a few weeks. I will be watchful and gentle.

I'm not sure what else I can do except to be loving, encouraging, and supportive. I will NOT pursue any kind of court order to make her take psychiatric medications.

Thank you. I look forward to speaking with you again.

[Catherine2]

Marc,
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing...

It sounds as though you have done as much as you can at this point, when your wife returns there will be changes that the two of you will face together. Love helps greatly, but guidance by professionals can go a long way towards helping both of you...as individuals and as a couple.
Your willingness is essential, and you may find that she will respond with less fear after those first few "awkward" days of her being home again.

Obviously, you are aware that no one can predict what is going to happen...that is a given for all of us. We also understand that we will do the best we can; most times that is half the battle. Willingness and determination...shows very well in your attitude and concern.

I hope you have found a therapist you trust; it helps so much to know you are not alone. An objective opinion/suggestions will help you clear some of the worries you may be feeling...

My best wishes to you,
Catherine

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by mrm3601

She says to me that she will not take psychiatric medication again. This is not only disappointing and disturbing for me. To a great extent, I fear for her, my, and our future. I agree that medication is crucial for her. With the proper medication and the other recovery techniques she practices, I would hope that the chances of yet another psychotic episode would become slim.

However, we don't know what will happen in the future. It could be that she will change her mind. It could be too, that if she agrees to engage in psychotherapy, with or without me, that she will change her mind also.

She is fine now and finally she comes back to me from her family in Europe within a few weeks. I will be watchful and gentle.

I'm not sure what else I can do except to be loving, encouraging, and supportive. I will NOT pursue any kind of court order to make her take psychiatric medications.

Thank you. I look forward to speaking with you again.

Please realize I am speaking from the experience of depression, anxiety and ADHD and their medications, not any other condition.

Make sure you are taking care of YOU. This can be hard. As someone who has suffered through depression and anxiety, I have done the "I feel better now that I have been on medication, I'm CURED!" and crashed off the medication. (Was bummed when Adderall didn't cure my "ooh shiny" moments too). Medications have side effects that can be hard to get through since you experience the side effects, but the positive results can take a long time to see (usually 6-8 weeks, though Adderall kicks in right away). So you are taking a medication that is supposed to make you better, but all you feel is the side effects and it doesn't seem worth it. Some just can't stand them. For instance, I have a male cousin who is dealing with not only mental illness, but addiction too. He will not take anti-depressants because it affects sexual desire (it brings it down to nearly nothing).

As others have said, we also have the stigma of mental illness. It is frowned upon as not an actual medical issue. If we just work at it and "think happy" it will go away. (I've told my father in law to go to...well...you get the idea...for suggesting this). It can be hard to accept that we can not do it on our own. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my first daughter and gestational diabetic that I realized that something similar was going on in my brain. My body could not make enough of the right chemicals to be "normal". There are two types of people on medication (again, MY opinion, not a medical anything). One only needs medication for a while to help them through a hard point. My sister is a good example of this. She went on anti-depressants for a while after she had a breakdown (not hospitalization) and it was found because she had 2 of her sons within 13 months, she had postpartum depression that went untreated and got worse. She didn't need to stay on them long. Then there are those of us, like me and my mother, who have had to accept we need the help medication gives us along with other alternative techniques to fuction (Medication usually works best hand in hand with these options). It's a hard realization to go through. I am lucky and have accepted this. Many can't. It may be for her that medication is a daily or multidaily reminder that she isn't strong enough to control her mind without help, isn't good enough to be healthy. I'm not saying she isn't, but that may be part of her issue with her own image.

We often deal with issues of self worth and self esteem. We also deal with society at large looking down on those with mental illness and not recognizing that while it is mental, it is also MEDICAL.

Hang in there! You have a good handle on things. Just be prepared that you may need to break away if she refuses help. Unfortunately, we can not force those we love to stay on medication, even when it is needed.

I'm sorry she is having a hard time and that I am so dang long winded! MAN!

Just know you have support here! I wish you and your wife all the best, healthiness and peace in the world!

[ECHOES]

She refuses to take psychiatric medications because her EX-husband forcibly hospitalized her. She's told me that the police were called, she was put in handcuffs, and she was taken to a psych unit in California (we live in New York). She firmly believes, and I agree with her to her some extent, that her rights were violated

That must have been very humiliating and traumatic for your wife.
Yet, logic says that taking the medication was not the cause of this experience; it appears that there was something else that instigated the police being called...

In truth, not taking the medication has also resulted in hospitalizations, though admittedly achieved in a different way.

Does your wife see a psychotherapist to help her with this?

[bipolardisordermom]

Marc,

I am so sorry that your wife left you to be with her family. Maybe she feels like she's being a burden to you I don't know. That's how I feel although Im not a burden to him at all. Thanks for sharing your story. I feel sad for your wife and her condition. I suffer from something very much the same have alot of the same symptoms. Possibly when she comes home you can have her set up for an appointment with a psychiatrist in an office that way that she doesn't have to go into the hospital where she harbored her fear from.