Do I go on another date with this guy??

I went on a date last night with this very nice, well mannered, great father, financially stable, even tempered, down to earth guy who is very interested in me and wants to go out again. So what's the problem?? Two issues, his divorce will be final Tuesday and I felt no chemistry. His soon to be ex wife is living with her boyfriend, so it's not that I think they'll get back together, but after 12 years of marriage they only separated 3 months ago and he talked a lot about it. I really don't think he is over it. Another, there didn't seem to be any chemistry at all there for me. I have really been trying to improve on my issues and one of those issues is trying to quit dating the same "type of man". He is definitely not the same type of man I typically date. So...do I go on another date and then decide, or do I just tell him I'm sorry, but not interested?

NO don't go out with him. There's no way he is over his wife yet, and you have no chemistry. What's the point???? Chemistry is neccessary.

If he just separated 3 months ago and talked alot about it on your 1st date(mistake) I wouldn't put any hope in him. He needs to heal from that relationship otherwise he'll end up making the same mistakes. I don't think you want to be like a counsellor for him. You could always be friends though.

I'd go on another date with him. I wouldn't worry too much about the chemistry part this early on. Your concern about this being so soon after his divorce is valid, but what the heck, if you aren't feeling chemistry yet but still enjoy spending time with him, you guys may end up friends - he sounds like he needs one. Sometimes friendship between a man and woman can go on to include chemistry and to a great relationship.

You can still go out with him. I just wouldn't put to much into it. Just think of it as friends. I would tell him this. I have went out with guys that just came out of a relationship, and all they did was talk about the other woman. I just never expected anything out of it.

I'm agreeing with everyone else - doesn't seem like he's over it... and if there's no chemistry... better find another guy. There are plenty of guys that are well off, well mannered... just hard to find .... but it's worth the wait/effort

I would tell him you would feel better waiting until the divorce is final, or at least valid. That's legitimate and would give you more time to think things through. I know how difficult it is to change the type of man we are typically attracted to, those not conducive to our long-term well being. I don't know what type yours was, but mine tended to be jobless. There actually are those who will be a constructive change and will still have the chemisty. There really are. And you may not yet know whether this guy is one of them. After the divorce, you might give it another shot, if you choose, and try concentrating on his attractive qualities. Just a thought, but I'm not a good one to be handing out relationship advice for sure! billieJ

Mmmm the main problem is chemistry. You can find someone who's just as stable and also have chemistry. That chemistry means something, don't ignore it! Don't settle for less!

Besides, he probably needs more time from his divorce before he has anything serious, ESPECIALLY if he talked about the divorce a lot on your date. That's a huuuuuge dating faux pas on his part.

If there is no Chemistry, why would you bother yourself for a guy with problems?
I'm like you, I was always thinking probably I make a mistake and I have to give the guy another chance....but if I don't have that Chemistry, no matter how many dates I go out, I'm still the same....
don't waste your time and energy for him.....plus, he has lots to deal with....why bother?
I'm sure one day you will find that decent guy whom you have Chemistry with....
take care
Marjan

My two cents is:

One: No chemistry, that COULD change, but it's not likely...
Two: His divorce is just being finalized? I'd say run. Things like that take time to mourn over (even if it's been over for years, the finalization is another "hit") and get over. He is going to bring a lot of baggage with him...

Take care of yourself. It's not selfish, it's practical!

hun

he's not over it,
and you felt no chemistry.

both are two good reasons, to move on.

you could perhaps stay as friends, and communicate only by phone or email etc., or only after a certain period of time.
and still be ''on the market''. . . .

he will eventually get over his loss,
but your own lack of chemistry towards him, is likely NOT to change.

my best to you xx