[Irine]

Hey people! :-)

I have a general question - when you have a good close friend - does it happen that you communicate every day?

I have a pretty close online friend....who said once was in love with me. I have been in love with him for a while and still am. I just felt many times - not out of his reaction but myself - that i bother him.
Most of the time it is ME who initiate contact. although there are times he does.

I asked him a few times if i bothered him and he told me i was close to his heart and that he didn`t mind...i recalled relationships with my other friends and i remember we talked every day on the phone many times.He answerer all my msgs..

I don`t send him msgs every day a few times a week and he cooperates answers and seems okay as he said...yet still

I feel so shy and embarrassed - it took me a while to start talking to him more personally like PMS in the forums and things went amazingly well..better than i expected...we have now each other`s AIM email facebook....once he even gave e his phone number (but i didn`t call was shy)

Anyways what do you think? would you get sick of another person? He is very frank so i dont think he is just being polite but i always have this feeling

LIKE I AM BOTHERING A VIP
Or is it because of my crash on him and its just an illusion?

I know you people can`t know for sure any experience and insights are appreciated.

:praying:

I guess it really depends on how much you talk to him every day, for example- I have no issue with talking to my friends every day for a little while... it's really fun! However at the same time my brother had a girlfriend who would obsessively talk to him on the internet and call him many times a day for hours and hours at a time even when they had both run out of things to say just because she wanted to talk. THAT was annoying.

[ZilchHour]

Hello Lady Macabeth!

There can not be a rule of thumb in this regard. Sometimes you need a continuous interaction to keep the the relation strong, something like watering a plant daily, where as some relationships are evergreen.

But friendship is a pretty different situation altogether. I personally feel (and I havemy own experience and track record) that friends usually do not get agitated by greater frequency of interactions. That is the only difference in marriage and friendship . When you are really good friends you usually tell each other to get off if you want a quiet moment, so there is nothing much formal.

Well I have a very selective circle of friends, and I myself think of the same think not to be bothering or imposing mself on them. So I often simply ask them if they want me to leave or go away and if they say it is okay then it is after all their choice and I take the liability of my mind.

I hope this would help you. The best of luck for the relationship!!!

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[Irine]

This guy now posted on Face book something and one of his friends said "wait there is something missing in your post" and he asked in his other language: "A comment by __?"
And a name that is so similar to mine! Just one letter is different! but this is how some call me sometimes

Does this mean i am a dominating *****?????
Someone told me he saw i was commenting on all of his stuff.


I WANT TO DISAPPEAR

[ZilchHour]

Do not cry, you are flooding the screen. The situation is not that grave. You are thinking it as such.

Boys are inconsiderate, we do not feel like you generally, exceptions are there. Sometimes the things that look like a hell big to you are meaningless to us. I do not think that merely watching a profile over facebook or commenting thereof is much of a deal. I may be wrong but you are imagining things, the thing you are calling dominance may also be regarded as care, love or crush, after all one follows his loved ones, wherever they go or at least tries to keep a track. Do not be ashamed or feel distressed.
And if you feel still concerned, then you may ask him directly, I think he would smile it off...
Take care and please hold your tears, they are worth more than anything.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[theotterone]

I'm kinda that way about my BFF, but I work with him so I see him at least 5 days a week at work. I like to check in with him during the weekend and he hates the phone, so we use messenger to keep in touch.

Unfortunately, you don't know EVERYTHING that is going on with your friend, so it could be that he is just busy. I tend to be VERY honest with my BFF, so if I'm feeling a little insecure, I let him know that so if there IS anything we need to air out, we can.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by zilchhour

may also be regarded as care, love or crush, after all one follows his loved ones, wherever they go or at least tries to keep a track.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

This is exactly what it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that but it still feels like i am ...our of my manners and that maybe..because in the back of my mind i always have a fear that one day he would tell me he doesn`t want to talk to me any more and that he was doing me a favor tolerating my b.s - - (all the personal things i share with him and all my comments on his thoughts )

I feel inadequate many times or unwanted not only with him...like an unwanted object - in other societies....and its not like they show it clearly but i am afraid i am just something that people want to kick the heck out of their place.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by theotterone

I'm kinda that way about my BFF, but I work with him so I see him at least 5 days a week at work. I like to check in with him during the weekend and he hates the phone, so we use messenger to keep in touch.

Unfortunately, you don't know EVERYTHING that is going on with your friend, so it could be that he is just busy. I tend to be VERY honest with my BFF, so if I'm feeling a little insecure, I let him know that so if there IS anything we need to air out, we can.

I WISH I WORKED WITH HIM lol

I commented there asking if i dominated and will see what he`ll say

[jerrymichele]

I seem to think that he still has it for you. Most guys won't string you along. That's my experience anyways. If he was trying to avoid you, he would just stop talking to you all together. If you want to always leave comments on his facebook, than go ahead, and keep doing it. I wouldn't worry about what a friend of his is saying. Have you thought about him calling you? Keep posting

[Irine]

Originally Posted by jerrymichele

I seem to think that he still has it for you. Most guys won't string you along. That's my experience anyways. If he was trying to avoid you, he would just stop talking to you all together. If you want to always leave comments on his facebook, than go ahead, and keep doing it. I wouldn't worry about what a friend of his is saying. Have you thought about him calling you? Keep posting

Thanks for the kind and insightful post!!!!!!!
Well: a few months ago - when we used to email every day - and sometimes our emails would go like chat. one minute me one minute him. one after another.

So i asked if he had a chat program and he gave me and also (without me asking!) gave me in that email his home and mobile phone numbers!
But i didn`t call I felt i was already interfering in his life too much. All those comment on his journal and all that....i remember how he said "feel free to call me" and wrote the time calculation and all that.

ah! You make me miss those times as awful as they were to me personally....apart form the turning point in my relationship with him

THANKS for you reply again!!!!!

[jerrymichele]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

Thanks for the kind and insightful post!!!!!!!
Well: a few months ago - when we used to email every day - and sometimes our emails would go like chat. one minute me one minute him. one after another.

So i asked if he had a chat program and he gave me and also (without me asking!) gave me in that email his home and mobile phone numbers!
But i didn`t call I felt i was already interfering in his life too much. All those comment on his journal and all that....i remember how he said "feel free to call me" and wrote the time calculation and all that.

ah! You make me miss those times as awful as they were to me personally....apart form the turning point in my relationship with him

THANKS for you reply again!!!!!

I would call him. I seem to think that he wants you to. He wants you to interfer. Have you gave him your phone number? If this man told you he loves you than he does. Go for it. Are you anywhere close to him? I have never had a internet relationship, so I'm really not sure how long you should wait to go visit each other. I do know that if I was in love with him, I would be trying to get him to come visit me. Keep posting

[Gabi925]

Hi there,

I had been in such a situation.
Have you tried to see what's happening if you don't initiate any contact? If he feels only friendhip; a friend cares and after a while will ask you about your life. He got used with you being there no matter what and contact him once a day or a week - it doesn't look like love! Give him time and see if he is at least a friend!
Maybe you'll break the ice :-)

[Irine]

Originally Posted by Gabi925

Hi there,

I had been in such a situation.
Have you tried to see what's happening if you don't initiate any contact? If he feels only friendhip; a friend cares and after a while will ask you about your life. He got used with you being there no matter what and contact him once a day or a week - it doesn't look like love! Give him time and see if he is at least a friend!
Maybe you'll break the ice :-)

Yes I actually did for a pretty long while once and he contacted me...like...on his own...actually he did. Emailed me that he started working.
Once it also happened that i emailed him and after a few emails i just didn`t respond any more..and the next day he started commenting my journal for the first time saying look at the world you got here etc....and after that he came for time to time...he commented on serial of my posts and a week after again...we had that chatting thing only one the journal THERE he asked me for the facebook and them...i waited for a while...and now again i am the one who is contacting

Just to clarify - i am not EXPECTING anything form him! I just don`t want him to have anything negative for me! thats all. I held back many times.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by jerrymichele

I would call him. I seem to think that he wants you to. He wants you to interfer. Have you gave him your phone number? If this man told you he loves you than he does. Go for it. Are you anywhere close to him? I have never had a internet relationship, so I'm really not sure how long you should wait to go visit each other. I do know that if I was in love with him, I would be trying to get him to come visit me. Keep posting

Well Jerry - he lives in the states and I love in Israel. He gave me his number when he was in another country so now the number is different, i assume.
He doesn`t have my number ...if he was interested i would give him but i am not interested in doing that myself.

He knows about my feelings but i am not expecting anything but simple contact.
He told me once he used to imagine of flying to Israel...etc to meet me but now when doesn`t and i also don`t want to invite myself over there...
If he will be interested he will say that. He is not shy at all!
But i am not sitting and expecting and waiting for this form him i just let things be if something happens great if not i believe i will find someone else in my area....will happen. What has to happen will happen.

thanks so much for this sweet message

[Gabi925]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

Well Jerry - he lives in the states and I love in Israel. He gave me his number when he was in another country so now the number is different, i assume.
He doesn`t have my number ...if he was interested i would give him but i am not interested in doing that myself.

He knows about my feelings but i am not expecting anything but simple contact.
He told me once he used to imagine of flying to Israel...etc to meet me but now when doesn`t and i also don`t want to invite myself over there...
If he will be interested he will say that. He is not shy at all!
But i am not sitting and expecting and waiting for this form him i just let things be if something happens great if not i believe i will find someone else in my area....will happen. What has to happen will happen.

thanks so much for this sweet message

I still don't get it. How long have you been in this story and you still have not called him (even he gave you his number for that!) and you haven't giving him either your phone number? It's nice to have something to dream upon, but winter is coming Would you mind to tell me how you chose Macbeth as a name? :-)

[Irine]

Hey Gab925 :-)
Lady macabeth Admunsen is a ....figure? character? in a story i made up...she is powerful leader of her people...a mysterious minds reader...i have many characters in that fantasy i am writing and i choose one name like dancing forums - i have a dancer in my story too etc.

Well Gab, IDK - you see he doesn`t seem to have THE SAME feeling for me exactly. Now i am trying to give him a break from me...I guess i fear rejection.
Rejection hurts and i feel ridiculous being the female.....
The only thing i can think of is hint if we chat again that "oh what a fool i was not calling you back then what an opportunity lol" and maybe it will get think down to that....

BUT I AM SHYYYYY
What if he doesn`t want to?

[ZilchHour]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

Hey Gab925 :-)
Lady macabeth Admunsen is a ....figure? character? in a story i made up...she is powerful leader of her people...a mysterious minds reader...
BUT I AM SHYYYYY
What if he doesn`t want to?

I thought you got the name from Shakespeare's play "Macbeth"!!! There is a lady Macbeth too and quite a negative part she plays...

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[Irine]

Well i got to know THE NAME from there but i made up a my own character

[Gabi925]

You are an interesting Lady - wonder if your character "ladymacabethadmunsen" is looking for a guy who she wants to be her ideal man to whom she will devote her life while vicariously ambitious she will support his dreams and fantasies ... or she is:

“she is powerful leader of her people” and “a mysterious minds reader” but still “shy” with her fantasizes “fearing rejection” even she has more strength – for them - than a man, like the Shakespeare’s Lady Macbeth showed with what I would call a “vicariously ambition”

I don't know anymore if your made-up story and character is like this: “she is powerful leader of her people” and “a mysterious minds reader” but still “shy” with her fantasizes “fearing rejection” even she has more strength – for them - than a man, like the Shakespeare’s Lady Macbeth showed with what I would call a “vicariously ambition”...
But you had the opportunity to live in reality (you had a phone number and didn't use it even given for that purpose)
I love my friends no matter the gender (“Rejection hurts and i feel ridiculous being the female” – I bet men feel more ridiculous in nowadays culture!) but we do not talk daily. There is a difference between friends - you care for them with what I would call "universal love" - and a partner who involves some more ingredients than the “universal love” as a base for love between partners or other type of relationships that involves other ingredients. But that’s my opinion and people have “love affairs” for so many other different reasons! One reason could be the Lady Macbeth’s one from Shakespeare – I would not consider her a real friend for her husband no matter they were in love!!

Maybe your friend is just a friend that feels "universal love", respectively “friendship” for you! He had his moment to be curious to see more and you weren’t. You can’t ask people and opportunities to be the same when you are ready for what was in the past! But you can still try to see the present, if that is what you want!

You wrote down that you do not want anything else from him “Just to clarify - i am not EXPECTING anything form him! I just don`t want him to have anything negative for me! thats all. I held back many times” Don’t you see smart, subtle lady that somewhere you are serving yourself some self-bias?

Don’t you have friends with whom you don’t talk daily? I think that we have talked here like friends to you! But not daily J

Gab!

[Irine]

Originally Posted by Gabi925

You are an i Don’t you see smart, subtle lady that somewhere you are serving yourself some self-bias?

[[/FONT][/COLOR]J

Gab!

What did you mean by that Gab?

[Gabi925]

What did YOU mean by that!

If creativity means to take words out of context and mix them pretending you are quoting someone... then I am sorry, but I am not impressed!

A lot of people answered you nicely and better than me; just review the thread.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by Gabi925

What did YOU mean by that!

If creativity means to take words out of context and mix them pretending you are quoting someone...

What I remember seeing (earlier) in Gabi's post was a passage that sounded scrambled to me. It looked as if several words had been accidentally cut out, or perhaps pasted in where they didn't belong. I thought Lady M. quoted the result accurately when asking for clarification but Gabi's post seems to have changed since then. I have no way of telling if the change was from a (very early) edit by Gabi or from something else, but it would have been very unusual for the PC server to garble a post that way.

I assume the bottom line is that what Gabi meant is what her post says now, not what it said earlier; the only remaining confusion is over how the change came about.

[Gabi925]

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

What I looked I thought Lady M. quoted over how the change came about.

Yesterday the message was as scrambled as today; nothing was changed! I do apologize for that.

[Irine]

Gab! All i meant to ask was what you meant that i was giving or serving myself self-bias?
What is this?

I don`t know why you sound angry in particular! No reason my friend i didn`t mean it in a bad way..sorry if this is how it sounds to you - you posted nice things.

[Gabi925]

It's a surprise for me that you answered here and you have sent me private emails too. I was under the impression that you do not want to talk here anymore. No harm done as either of us made a friendship request.
If my words sounded here "angry" to you I don't think we can be a match for a friendship and therefore I am just stunned you wrote me in private while posting here too. Just by chance I have seen this!