[NuckingFutz]

I got a surprise email from someone I met several years ago who was divorced for 4 years but had not finished going through the grieving process. The email said that they were ready to move on and have a real relationship and wanted to catch up, renew our friendship and see where it goes. I have always liked this person and we both knew we couldn't go forward until this was complete. This person is smart, attractive and a joy to be around. We are getting together to catch up tomorrow night. I am very happy about this. And the kicker is...he is male! This shoukd be interesting. Wish me luck!

I want ALL the details....

[Elysium]

Oooh...I want details too!!

And remember....No Nucking on the first date!!

[perpetuallysad]

Oh Elysium, you have my laughing out loud over here.

NF I want the details as well. I am glad you have something to look forward to!

[lynn P.]

Good luck and have a good time

[Typo]

Have a great time Nucking!!!

[sanityseeker]

How wonderful for you. What an awesome treat to look forward to. Hope you have a great time.

[VickiesPath]

No matter the outcome, what an adventure!!!!!! Yes, details, please!!!!!

[NuckingFutz]

Hey all. Thanks for the well wishes! I promise, no nucking on the first date, that makes me accountable Elysium. I am looking forward to this date and it will be an adventure, a good one I hope.

Best put a governor on that caudal appendage.

[NuckingFutz]

What a great date! Would have lasted longer but it would have ended up in the bedroow. We talked about everything as only as two bipolars can do...incredible. We even aame up for a possible solution to healthcare reform, but that is not the details you want. I got a sweet gentle kiss when he came to the door. ..it yummy! We decided before hand to keep the date short before so nucking would occur. This man is never boring. But I could tell he appreciated my nurturing hugs. And I appreciated his. I can look him in his eyes and vice versa and it was so refreshing. I felt completely safe and relaxed. We do things in our lives than the average people. Got hin to laugh and smile at my jokes (tossing his head babk and really laughing. Lots of hugs and kisses and some soft carreesses. He's just an overall good guy. After my move next weekend, we are going to cook dinner together. But the hugs and the conversation were the best! I'd say it was a success...sigh...

[lynn P.]

Sounds like you had a genuinely nice time. I'm happy for you.

[Elysium]

Good for you!!!

That sounds like the start of something nice for the both of you!! It's nice to know there's a physical attraction to someone, but IMO moving forward to the sexual intimacy seems like it would be that much better if you find that there is compassion and friendship first. It sounds like you both found just that on your date.

I'm very happy for you!!

[goodgirl62]

Oh I am sooooo Happy for you! I can see you smiling right now!

[FeelingHopeful]

That is awesome!! Really Happy for you!

[NuckingFutz]

Thanks everyond. I know we share our pain and support on this board, but wanted to share a little hapiness as well.

awesome! so glad you had such a fun date.

[NuckingFutz]

Oh, I did not mention, near the end of the date he casually said he was moving to Philly soon for his job. I do not get men. I do not know how to respond to men. I did have a good time while he was here but my overall impression is to take a very fine lady, look her up on facebook, tell her you are ready for a real relationship, make a date to catch up, tell her you are moving to Philly soon, kiss her goodbye than leave. I do not understand heterosexual relationships at all I guess. What is my next move here because I am clueless. How can one be ready for a real relationship when he's moving to Philly?

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

Oh, I did not mention, near the end of the date he casually said he was moving to Philly soon for his job. I do not get men. I do not know how to respond to men. I did have a good time while he was here but my overall impression is to take a very fine lady, look her up on facebook, tell her you are ready for a real relationship, make a date to catch up, tell her you are moving to Philly soon, kiss her goodbye than leave. I do not understand heterosexual relationships at all I guess. What is my next move here because I am clueless. How can one be ready for a real relationship when he's moving to Philly?

Well, iffin that didn't just let all of the air out of my blow-up doll!!

I think the problem might be, you were dating a heterosexual man. If you want a nice looking, always gonna be there for ya, loves you more than he loves himself kind of man who will never leave you......I think you have to date the homosexual men.

Maybe he is just trying to get you nervous that he's gonna leave to see if you'll ask him to stay?

I don't know...I don't understand heterosexual men either.

[NuckingFutz]

Well, I have decided not to persue this with him because it makes not a dang bit of sense. I will keep him on my facebook, but other than that, no contact. I tried to go hetero but ya know, I am just not wired. At least I will have a clever response to all the homophobs who attack me verballx with their "you are going to hell" statements. I will just tell 'em "I was in hell, now I'm dating women again like the good lord intended." thanks for being here.

The I am moving to Philly could be a defence thing on his part for him to keep in check HIS emotions .....

I know I speak backwards.

Meaning he is reminding himself so he keeps you at bay.

He may like you more than he wants to ! I would go after him who says he has to move his job !

[goodgirl62]

I think he wants a serious relationship but if it doesn't happen he will go to Philly. Look, it got you out of the house and you were happy. We women are always reading into things. If you get a chance, go out with him again. I know it built your confidence last night. I saw you smiling.

[perpetuallysad]

Dang, my internet has to be down while the interesting stuff is going on around here!

Ok, so the date was fun, then he has to throw some weird **** on you at the last minute. ARG. Men can be infuriating. My guess would be he wants to see if you will get all sad and want him to stay. Of course, I don't know him, so maybe he's not manipulative like that, but it seems like a sort of manipulative thing to say AFTER you've contacted someone and told them you are ready for a relationship. I mean, he doesn't expect you to ask him to stay does he or for you to beg to go with him? Ug, men!

I do have to say that not all hetero men are like this though. (Just to stand up for the good guys out there.)

Sorry you got some rain on your parade. I was getting all excited for you until I got down to that post...oh well. At least you had a good night. We're always telling each other to take things one day at a time and that one day was a good one, I guess you could look at it like that?

what a bummer! i know that men are really into "keeping their options open" so he may be pursuing you to see where things go and then move and do the same there with other women. can't say i'd like that scenario though. you could ask him what's up with asking you out, getting all kissie face and then springing the move thing on you.

maybe some guys will respond and give us a clue into the male mind.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by bloom3

maybe some guys will respond and give us a clue into the male mind.

Is there such a thing as the "male mind" (or the female mind, for that matter), or just males and females with various kinds of minds?

you could ask him what's up with asking you out, getting all kissie face and then springing the move thing on you.

I'm considering what he might have seen as his options:

• Not ask Nucking out at all because he was planning to move soon and it could be frustrating if anything started to come of the relationship in the meantime?

• Ask Nucking out but warn her early on that he'd be moving soon so she should be careful not to fall in love with him or anything?

• Decide, based on how the date went, if he still wanted to go through with the move or cancel it to stay closer to Nucking?

• See if Nucking liked him well enough to ask him to stay (or to offer to move with him) and then reconsider his options?

• See if perchance the date would go badly enough so he wouldn't even have to mention he was moving, just feel better about shaking the dust of that town from his feet?

• (Pretty much what actually seems to have happened): see how they got along, then (since they apparently did) share about his job situation and see what either of them came up with in response.

The last one is the one I'm pretty sure I'd prefer, regardless of which of us was the one planning to move.