Delete?

Decided to write a thank you note to my date I had Saturday night. It got read and he deleted it from facebook without a word from him. I felt that was rude. Although he provided stimulating conversation and some kisses, I do not want to see him, I don't want to talk to him and I do not want him on my facebook. I decided to read my journal from when we dated before and saw that he was great physically, he called me a several 4 letter words and referred to my x gf in a way I would never imagine. Any thoughts about this? I do not respect this guy. Why do men do this?

easy....Delete him from your facebook....you feel great after that!

I did but now I feel mean. Ah, I guess I can live with mean for a while. I deserve better. Besides, I only have to look on this site to know how friends with benefits causes pain.

you should feel "wise" instead of "mean"!!!!!
He might try to add you again, just hit the ignore button.....I had this A.H. guy whom I dated before and he dumped me, then I had him on my facebook.....I deleted him after awhile, guess what? he kept sending me a friend requests.....and boom, I was ignoring his request....then he sent me a message...."why did you delete me?".....I didn't answer him and I was laughing and happy that I'm out!!!! He's an *** hole and he will be like that forever.....
this guy removed your thanks message from Facebook, because he's dating some other chicks over there too and he doesn't want you guys to know about each other....stay ahead of the game and laugh hard

nucking, did you write on his wall or send it to his inbox? if it was on his wall i'm not surprised if he deleted it. i don't think some people would want everyone knowing about their love life. if i went out on a date with someone and then they mentioned it on my wall i'd be kind of uncomfortable with that.

oh...so true...I didn't think this way....I would hate if I go for a date and he writes on my page the next day!!!!
Also, lesson learned, I don't add a date to my facebook till I get comfortable with him....facebook is for friends not just random people that come and go into our lives!!!!!

Yeah, I think I am just going to block the motherf! I did some journaling and discovered he triggered me about my ex when he wispered in my ear...now I have my ex dancing in my head and a strong mixture of sadness, longing. I feel my heart being pulled, so heavy I can hardly move or speak. That was an unconditional love that I carry with me in my heart. And my date brought it up for his own sexual fantasy. Sigh. Guess I am still grieving that loss. Still can't write about the ex.

I would delete him too. On my fb I can't chat with my friends anymore, because some men won't leave you alone when you tell them your in a relationship. Men that say things bad about women, you shouldn't be around imo. They are the type that snap over anything.

Jerry, you are right, he may snap. I wrote the thank you note to his inbox. I not only deleted him, I blocked him so that if he ever tries to pull me up, my facebook won't come up at all. I think he wrote that note saying he was ready for a real relationship was a manipulation. I think if I had let him, he would have picked up where he left off three years ago. I wish I was evil enough to pm his ex on facebook and tell her all the awful things about him. How did she put up with him? You know, I do not even care what he thinks. I am just am pissed he brought up my ex and dragged her sexuality through the mud. That hurts...I had blocked that out.

This sounds like a really crummy situation, Nucking. I'm sorry you're going through this -- there are some many guys out there who only care about one thing. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty who are willing to make friendships, then relationships, and take everything slow and steady but those fellows seem to be few and far between... I think you did the right thing in blocking him -- put him out of your mind, he's not worth anymore energy, thoughts, etc. Very proud of you indeed!

Off topic a smidge though.. you have me curious about one thing. I don't use facebook much, but how can you tell when someone deletes your messages when you send them to their inbox? I wish I had known that years ago!

Stay strong! We're all here rooting for you! (routing...?)
Ro

Sounds like a jerk anyways. I was going to say, if you put that on his wall he was probably embarrassed but if it was a PM then I would be mad too. Screw him. Not worth it. You deserve better!

I was wondering the same thing. Is there a way to know if someone deletes your message from their inbox after they read it? I was friends on FB with a guy I used to work with. We've know each other for 10 years. We went on one date. I thought we had a great time catching up & then 2 days after the date he deleted me. It was such a weird thing. I had messaged him a few times before he deleted me that he never responded to & I wondered if he even read them.

Nucking~
you deserve better than what that dumba$$ did. i probably would have been meaner to him, but thats cuz i can't stand guys like that. you're a good person and he is not. you'll find someone who will treat you the way deserve, don't let a stupid, stupid man get you down.

That was so nice of you to send a thank you note for a date. I can't believe he deleted it! How did you know he deleted it? That was really mean of him. He didn't even reply? If you don't want any more communication with him, definitely block him. Hopefully he'll get the message and not bother you anymore.

You can tell when someone deletes the message when you try and pull up the message in your sent box. If it is not there, it has been deleted. If this guy feels the need to contact me again, he is going tn have to call me.

I don't get it.....Did you write on his facebook wall or did you email him into his facebook mailbox?
If you wrote on his wall, probably he didn't want everybody know about his date....but who cares if he deleted your email? Why being so sensitive about it?
Probably, he deleted it accidentally or whatever....why bother to make your mind so busy out of such a small thing?
I didn't know that you can figure out if somebody has deleted your mail from the facebook...I would love to test this....

rooting is correct. Think I'm over the Saturday night fiasco. Enjoyed the convo with him though except when he mentioned Harvard and his dislike of it (I have family members who are both Alum and I have a cousin who's a prof there).

I only wrote in his inbox. It was just between me and him. There is no way I would write elsewhere for the reasons other people have stated. It's not for other's eyes. I do feel good about blocking him though.

Marjan, I really do not know how to respond to the above exactly, but I will give it a shot. But there are in fact a lot of people who care if he deleted my email if it hurt me. This was no small thing to me. I've known this guy for three years and was hoping to make a good friend out of him. I do know that you can find out if someone has deleted an email from their inbox.

My point is that "he just deleted your email", not a big deal...even you can't be hundred percent sure about it because it's computer and email and viruses around and lots of other factors.....
This is just in your mind....
I just want to help....I've been like you....or still like that...being so sensitive....and most of times, when I bring it up to the person's attention, I find out that he didn't mean anything or he thought differently!!!!
We are getting angry, disappointed and we make ourselves sad because usually things are not going the way that we want to go.....If we sit back and be relax and do what we like and not be sensitive out of small stuff or not dig into them, our life will be more enjoyable....
for example, you went out with him and you emailed him....if you didn't expect an email back and if you didn't dig into your sent box to see if the email is there or not, then you would have been relaxed and go on with your life without wasting it thinking about him......
This is just out of my own miserable experience!!!!
sweet heart....I do care about you....I don't know you, but I want you to be happy....stay cool and listen to music and delete whoever you want from your facebook....that's how I do it too....and trust me, most people even don't find out that I deleted them from facebook....they even called me or texted me later on....and don't care....but I want to have my friends on my facebook....
enjoy your life sweet heart....
Marjan

*Marjan's post was not there when I began composing this post.


If I may interject for a moment, I think it will benefit you both to take a moment to reflect on one another's points of view.

Marjan, I believe it's fair to say this regarding your post:
For the most part, it was objective and gets credit for offering a solution. However, it can be argued that it lacks greatly in terms of the emotional support NF seemed to be seeking and this lends it a negative tone.

NF: Marjan's first words in that post were, "I don't get it...." This is not a knock on you, Marjan, but it was clear you were completely unaware of the magnitude of the emotional impact to NF. This ought to have been your cue, NF, to not read too much into what the poster is saying. If a person does not have a clear understanding of your situation, I believe you should just go, "Well, thanks for trying," and then if you feel it's worthwhile, you could make the attempt to raise the person's awareness to more intelligently discuss the issue. Marjan demonstrated her support for you in her previous posts when she said things like, "you should feel "wise" instead of "mean"!!!!!"

Marjan, more supportive wording can make a world of difference to the person you are responding to without losing any of the content of your message.

Check this out:

A deleted thank-you note would not normally be such an upsetting event. I'm sorry that it has been for you. Now that he can't contact you anymore, you can redirect the energy you were spending on how to handle this, uh it pains me to say it, guy, in more positive ways.

When communicating online it is all too easy to intend one thing and be interpreted as another. Please remember the positive things that have already been accomplished on this thread.

Eh, I'm over it. I know you didn't mean to harm me. I have been following your post with Prince Matt. I know you are in pain too. As you see, I did not respond with anything rude. We get enough "rude" irl. Take it wasy!

I'm glad that you feel better.....