Think I am going to leave....

...well I think the time may have come when I am going to have to walk away from the man I love. Those of you who have been following my previous 2 posts will know what I am talking about - and thanks for your support and friendship by the way - but following on from the long talk we had we then had another this morning. I asked him was he going to leave his wife for me - his reply was "not yet" so I asked him when he intended on doing it and I got the same old "when the time is right" reply. I then went on to explain that although I understood him having a responsibility to his wife because of their children... surely he had a responsibilty to me even more now because I am carrying one of his children too... and his children with his wife are grown up (all my age) so are not little kids - in fact there's only one of them still living at home and two are married - so it's not like they're little and wouldnt know what was going on...

...anyway his reply to that was that he owed them more because they are his children already in the world... this one that I am carrying he doesnt know him/her yet!!!!!!!!

I then said that he had a choice in all of this and if he wasn't prepared to leave his wife and give our baby a good start with "us" then I wasn't prepared to abort the baby and I WAS prepared to give the baby a good start and would put him/her on the adoption list - we have alreaady discussed this option slightly but he wasn't too keen in the end...

...anyway his reply to all of that was "Baby I love want and need you but you know you have to share me you have known that from the start" (Which I haven't because when I was seeing him in the beginning I thought he was single)

My head is saying walk away now why I can but my heart is saying hang on I love this guy - no matter what a p**t he can be at times I love the guy and do actually want to be with him.... so I'm confused all over again.

It's looking like our baby really will go to an adoption family.

dayley,
I do hope you are seeking support IRL somewhere about this as there are so many things to consider.....you own well-being first and foremost.

Please consult honestly with your doctor about what is going on as your mental health affects your physical conditions.

The heart often feels love for ppl that are not appropriate for our lives/future paths. Only you know in your situation for sure. From what you've written and shared though I'd be inclined to say that no matter the love your heart feels the actions and words shown in return are not adequate to build a future upon. That's just my opinion.</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It's looking like our baby really will go to an adoption family.

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As far as adoption? Wouldn't be here if it didn't exist. I'm all for it IF the circumstances allow the birth mother to do so in complete safety for her health. Please seek counsel from somewhere you trust for these questions. I'm not saying don't post but our input as strangers on a mental health support board is but so much compared to the trained educated advice of medical or mental health professionals or clergy.

We're still listening/reading. My thoughts are with you for peaceful resolution to these very challenging times.

dayley Such tough decisions! I'm sorry you are in such dilemmas.
Surely adoption would be a good option, and personally, would think well of you to do that.

I find it hard to believe you find your "true" self when with this guy... perhaps you find a hidden self? In any case, I hope you find peace with your decisions. Can you work out adoption situation now, and perhaps get help with the medical and all from the perspective parents? TC