[mommy08]

Sorry its a bit long...I know inlaw relationships are not always the best but this is severe. We are very successful as a husband and wife and as parents. They are so negative towards us (including their son, my husband). Its not that they just don't like me, but our daughter too and my husband.

They are extremely negative. We can't share anything positive with them because they turn evil. Mainly the mom. She calls and worries hubby by saying 'I dreamt something bad will happen to you. Watch out for your self. Recently my husband got a very good job and we've felt even more negativity since then (both her and my husband's brother, not his dad though). Last time my husband stopped by on his own and as soon as he walked in she said I dreamt you got laid of from this new job. All my dreams come true. And was just so negative. And this stressed my husband out a bit. They are also very negative towards our daughter. People always say she's very advanced for her age and when they hear other say that, they seem to hate it. It seems as if they would like her to be and know less than she does. (I say they because father in law never opposes to any of her behavior) On the other hand, everything is perfect and the best about our nephew. She feeds him and won't offer to my daughter who visits maybe once a week only and the newphew lives there.Last time she was feeding the newphew, when my daughter asked for some she said to her you can't have it. I can't say she hates our daughter but she certainly doesn't seem like she loves or cares for her much. She never valunteers to watch her. Would rather spend time around my husband than all three of us together. And I don't mind her spending time with husband but all they do is bring him down with the negativity and then he stresses about it. She also rarely says what she means, and will sugar coat things as if she's doing you a favor but really its in her best interest. My husband doesn't always see that and sometimes I don't either right away but later than I realize what she actually meant. So she knows that its easier to manipulate my husband than I.

By the way, the brother, sister in law and the nephew are all the best. They never put them down, always are happy for them no matter what but always look at us negatively. And we are very successful and very well off. I offer to help them when I can but they always refuse MY help, my husband's help they're ok with. They also refuse to help me. Never want to watch our daughter even for an hour. And yet is too occupied with our nephew.

Husband sees all this. He feels the negativity and that they don't like us so to speak and is very down with all this. We don't know how to deal. PLS any suggestions? Its affecting us a lot. Every time we visit, we both feel bad (low self worth, disrespected, as if she doesn't like our daughter, just wanting to brings us to the bottom) and we argue because he doesn't know why they do this. He doesn't want to loose them completely because he will feel bad that I have my parents around and he doesn't. He thinks that by saying anything they'll just turn their back at him.

I think if they do then they were never even worth putting up with for all this time in the first place, but I understand that its easier for me than for him since its HIS parents.

PLS HELP!

[1flagwriter]

OMG! What a bunch, you have there. I don't understand how someone could treat a little girl like that.

Have either of you considered seperating yourselves from the rest of the family?

[englishteacher]

Distance is helpful. We moved 9 hours away from our relatives. Now we only see them once or twice a year and it's so much easier.

It's horrible how she treats your daughter. I would be tempted to just send hubby to visit them, so that your child is protected from her negativity. However, I realize from personal experience that sending hubby may cause other problems.

Does his parents know how you feel? Have you told them?

[Betty Boop]

My heart goes out to you. You are caught between a rock and a hard place, in my opinion except in one area. I wish you and your husband could at least work out something to tell this negative woman to lay off your daughter ! I cannot imagine a grandmother acting that way. I am a Nana and let me tell you God gave us Grand children as a unexpected blessing in the later part of our lives. I won't say my Grandchildren are perfect, however they are one of the best things that I have been blessed with in my life. Believe me I have been blessed many times God has literally saved me from death's door twice, even that is not as shining as my grandchildren ! Please don't think I am ungrateful that he blessed me with new chances at life, I thank him everyday for all he does for us. You and your husband sound like great people and your daughter is I am sure a sweetheart, who I would be proud to call my grandaughter ! So you may seriously want to limit time around these negative people. Your marriage and family (you, your husband & daughter) are your main concerns. Remember the bible even says, You leave your parents house and cleave unto your husband and or wife. That is not a correct quote however that is the meaning of the passage. You take care and please know I will send up a prayer for you. The hurt you must be feeling I wish I could someway make go away or a least make lighter. Just know if you need to talk we are all here for you !
Love & Prayers,
Betty Boop

[mommy08]

Thank you ladies for your understanding and support. I really appriciate it!

Hubby has decided to sit her down and tell her everything that is bugging us and give her a chance to change it or we'll simply stop visiting. I know that if worst comes to worst and we end up not visiting them, it will be hard at time for hubby to see me so close to my family but yet his is so evil.

He specifically said that he will say sorry dad but mom's behavior needs to change. We've noticed that she openly favors the newphew over our daughter. She feeds him but refuses to offer to her and when she points that she wants she says she can't have it. She is never happy for us and is always negative about anything and everything in our lives. Seems like she'd be the happiest if we failed and that's not how a parent should be. Finally seems like she also hates my wife, may I have a reason why because from what I saw my wife has always tried to be nice to her and to get closler to her but on the other hand she seems to even treat her worse. Do you guys have a problem with us?

These things are bugging us and we'd like them to be changed otherwise we won't come over. We always come happy but leave your house feeling disseminated, frustrated and down and we'd rather not come than and be happy!

I'll keep you ladies updated. Hopefully this resolves the issue. I am hoping!

Good luck. Hope the talk makes a difference.

[englishteacher]

I hope it works out well for you, your husband and your daughter.