Shocked: he just left me there

I stick with my theory. Married or living with a significant other. I also agree that he saw someone there that could incriminate him and made a fast exit.

Maybe a phone call or a text and he beat feet.

What a coward!!!!! I'm glad he baled out before you were emotionally attached. SHAME on him!!!

well - lets put it this way: it makes a funny story now. And yes - he is a coward and a jerk.

Personally, I could not care less if he has / does not have a phd, which uni he went to, whether he is married with 10 kids or a terrorist. I think he said he did his phd in business in the university of chicago. To me he is a liar and a cheat.

I actually really respect people who invest in their education. My sister is doing her Phd now and I did my masters. TheByz - its very funny and probably accurate when it comes to this guy... I think he was just saying that because it sounds good....

Don't be surprised someday to hear that he left a bride waiting at the alter. Wonder what his excuse will be then.

Yoda, I am with you on that one. Thats why I dont think he is married.

I think thats what he does - a commitment phob that runs a way. He told me that he met someone before me who said initially that she wanted kids and said she was not sure so he ended it. I think he probably left there and then too... what an idiot.

he probably didn't even finish high school. well, i'm sorry that happened to you but yeah it's kind of funny in hindsight with what a bad liar he was.

Probably... thanks Bloom3. He is just a liar with a small... you know what... probably...

By the way - I love your quote.

Hey Tatyana, sorry you had to experiance this! Just think of all the other opertunities he opened up for you dating other people. I remember you just got out of a very long and difficult relationship. Im my experiance dating around before you get into another serious relationship is a good idea. You should have fun experiance different people and personalities, and experiance yourself, get to know yourself and work on healing your past hurt before you get into something serious and maybe carry over those feeings into something that may be really good and healthy. Just saying, F*#@ that dude and move on to bigger and better. Hope you are doing well now that you are back in London! Keep us updated!

Thank you Sweetie!!

Yes, you are right. I am taking my time to find the right person and though I am signed on dating sites I am keen on meeting someone serious - I am also careful... I am very much concentrating on healing my past. And my pain. Sometimes its seems like such a huge task... I wonder if I am ever going to heal...

That dude is a joke. I was telling my cousin today what had happened and I could not stop laughing... I was so shocked on the night. This sort of behaviour is just unbelievable.

I am doing Ok. Not amazing. I went out to a concert tonight with my cousin and had a nice time. I am staying with my friend at the moment - and its very hard. She has a baby and all I hear is baby talk all day (which I despise) and dvds on repeat for children (why a 8 month old needs to be stuck in front of a dvd is beyond me and if it does my head in listening to that 8 hours a day then I can imagine what it does to his developing brain...) and of course you cannot really walk round the house as you want and leave stuff in the bathroom and i live off my suitcase. Its painful and really really hard. But I have no choice at present. At least I am starting work next week and then I will look for a house in a few weeks time. And of course there is dealing with that pain and actually missing him... I so not where I want to be in every sense of the word...

Thanks again for the concern and support xx

I hope very soon you find your own place....it will be better then
mean while, just try to take care of yourself.....

and I know what you mean by cartoon movies for kids....my sister is making her kids to watch TV, because that's the only time they are quiet....but that's horrible for kids....it's so sad
My nephew is just 5 years old and can't read or write, but he knows all the brands, because of advertisements in TV.....he made my sister to buy him Skechers....can you believe that? hehehehe
As much as kids are cute, but they are hard to take care of

xoxoxo
M

Hi Marjan,
Thanks, yes. I now actually think to look for a place next week. I cannot live like this. My friend is so preoccupied with herself and she has no idea about what I am going through. She is kind in that she is offering me a place to stay but shows no empathy. She actually told me yesterday that if someone my age is not married then there is something wrong with them. It was particularily hurtful as she knows how my ex proposed, I have a dress etc and he never set a wedding date and abused me. I find her cold and heartless and I cannot be around people like that now. This evening I had dinner with them - her husband made some salad and warmed some rice. At the end of the meal she was sitting looking at paper work. She asked me to do the dishes and clear up. I could not believe it. I mean - I do not mind doing it but her attitude... Especially when she cooked yesterday and I did all the washing up. I dont know. I think she thinks I am on the remit of helper for her and disregarding my needs. Every morning she knocks on my door and opens it. I have to find my own place.

About the kids dvds: I am strongly against it. I think it damages their brain. Her baby is only 8 months old and he spends more time in front of the tv than in front of people. I am sorry for your nephew. Maybe try to talk to your sister? I guess its the easy option for parents. Kids are quiet and they are free. To me - this is not what parenthood is about....

My friend force feeds her baby. He cries and she sticks food in his mouth.. Its so horrible to watch! I think its such a cheap manipulation...

Anyway - enough of me venting. How are you??

I think the wise thing is searching for a place ASAP and get out of there....It's very important to be comfortable at home....It will reduce a lot of your stress immediately....I rented my current place just as temporary, but now I'm leaving almost a year here....It's not comfortable because it's close to highway and there are so much noise from high way plus my upstairs neighborhood makes so much noise....but he's a nice old guy, if I tell him that his TV is high, he will turn it low...It's so hard for me to sleep and get up early to work....I'm hoping to find a home soon....and preferably I'm looking for something close to work....
Last night, I invited all my nighbours including the guy upstairs and my sister and brother-in-law for dinner....I kinda felt bad, because I was complaining to my neighbors about their TV stuff, so I thought lets invite them over for dinner....It feels bad to tell them about the noise, because the home itself is crappy old, and what do I expect from that home without any isolation??!!!
so, stay focus on finding your own place and then you feel the peace that you need....and don't give so much attention to your friend's attitudes....There are lots of single people out there and if they want to label us as "something goes wrong with us", then so what? yes, something goes wrong with us...$@#& off....hehehe...
You have us to share your feelings and thoughts, you don't need to talk to your friends really about your personal problems.....
I found this site so helpful, as I can tell you guys everything in my life....I used to say things to friends and family, then I was getting into trouble....and I'm a sensitive person, I didn't like when my older sister impatiently was telling me "oh...I got to go Marjan...that's your own problem and you got to fix it, I can't do anything about it!"....give me a break sister....I want you just to listen to me....I have no body to talk to....but now I'm glad to have you guys on my side.....
stay strong Tatyana....this shall pass...and this is a small bumpy road that you are passing by in your life journey....try to learn from it....take care of yourself ....M.

I don't know that I would have reacted that way, especially on a date with a man I didn't know very well yet. I would have been angry too, initially, but once I heard the circumstances I would have asked was there anything I could do to help support him.

I want my good friends to drop everything and come running if necessary, just like I want my relatives to do the same. That this man does that, would make him special in my getting-to-know-you book, I'd really look forward to getting to be special to him in that way. That he had enough presence of mind in an emergency to pay the bill so I didn't have to, that would be icing on the cake. I'm grown up and can find my way home, don't go out without resources to take care of myself, especially in case something happens to the person I'm with (and, always, identify/medical ID, etc. in case something happens to me too).

However, it is good that it happened when it did too so you aren't disappointed; hopefully he wasn't either.

Marjan, hi. You are right of course. Thing is my friend is my best friend in the last 10 years and I do not expect something like that from her. She got married some 4 years ago, when she was 34 and she did it because she felt she had to, its time to do it. I think she is unhappy in her own life. She had an affair with her ex bf 3 years ago while she was travelling with her husband... So I guess I she is a bit lost in herself...

PC is great - and the support on here is lovely. The sharing of ideas and experiences and the acceptance here is great. But I think its important to have this in your real like with people too.

I think its lovely that you invited your neighbours and family round. What a lovely thing to do. How did it go?

I know its hard to live with noise... I admire you for looking at the positive.

Its important to me to find a decent place where I can heal and feel good. My place with ex was huge, new, lauxurious and serene (if it was not for him....) and it will be hard to be in a 1 bed flat after that... but will see...

I am starting a new job tomorrow and feeling like I dont have energy for anything at the moment.... I hope I ll be able to cope...

Thanks Marjan, for the understanding care xxx

Perna, indeed a good friend if he drops everything for his friends but a louzy potential partner to leave your date without a word and disappear. But I guess we all have different standards...

That's awesome....new job, new home, new bf...hehehehe....stay strong and positive...you will be fine....try not to think about anything else....just think about your new job for now....one day at a time!
good luck

Thanks! Thats what I am doing. Staying focused. Thinking about my step as I go along.

I realised today that its been a couple of days that I did not have any urge to text or call him. What a relief! It feels so good!! Thanks everybody. I know it may come back the urge and it maybe a up and down road but I have not felt like this for years.

give yourself enough time to heal....you've been in a bumpy relationship for 7 years....you need at least a year or more to heal....I get to few months of relationship, then I need lots of time to heal....we are the sensitive ones....

I promise you one day you will never ever want him back into your life and you would never have any urges to txt or call him

Thanks Marjan. I just wrote earlier to someone on here something about an incident with him - about the car. Just thinking about what happenned and how he behaved, the vision of him and the idea of him made me sick. And to think that I wanted to give this man my life....