[JohnShaft]

Ughhhhh… I miss my friend so badly. I wrote a couple months back about what was going on between her and I.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...o=&fpart=1
It was stupid to fall in love with her but I did none the less (she did too). I tried contacting her a couple weeks after we had our "it just can’t happen talk" and it blew up in my face. She ended up sending me a horrible letter and picture that totally crushed me. After that I figured I would just leave it be. I hoped she might call or write on my birthday but nothing. That really made me sad, no one ever says anything for my birthday. Anyway, about a week later I sent her a postcard from California. Nothing special, just typical postcard stuff though I did say at the end that I missed her. No response. Two weeks after that I found out that she had been featured at an art event in town soon after I had writen. I thought it was a pretty big deal, she's been trying to make it as an artist. I really would have liked to have at least known about it. Actually I think that has made me the most sad of all. I guess it's clear that she wants nothing to do with me any more. That should have been clear from the beginning but I wanted to hope. This week I mailed her back a movie of hers I still had. I didn't write any note, I figured it would just be best to give it back and not cause any more trouble. I had planned on sending her a postcard or two on my upcoming bike tour (I’ll be sending out lots of cards, not just to her) but I guess I won’t. It’s so hard not to call or email her. I wanted to send her an email asking if she got her movie. Yoi. Yesterday I even considered calling her phone while she was at work just to hear the answering machine. I feel like a turd admitting that but it was what was in my head.

I miss her so much and think about her every day. I've had my heart broken before and I know it takes a long, long time to get over. It just makes me sad that she’s never going to be a part of my life again. Sad, sad, sad…

[demolitionlover]

I've had a few of those. I don't know what you're expecting people to say either. But when you get the push and it seems so clear they just don't want to know anymore and the only thing that stops me from getting too angry and upset is telling myself that one day they will regret it. It's not likely that they're never going to think about you again; because they will on numerous occasions. And maybe even miss you and regret throwing you away. There are others you can waste your time on.

[JohnShaft]

Just venting, I wasn't really looking for any responses. There's not a whole lot to say.

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JohnShaft}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]
thinking about you

[Artist]

John I am pretty much in the same boat as you. I have deep feeling for a woman who for whatever reason is unable to return those feelings. My problem is she lives close. I did run into her I wanted to say more then Hi How are you. The conversation was uncomfortable, stilted. A lot of unsaid things just hung in the air. This isa good place to vent to let out some frustration and release some of the hurt. Time will heal and in the mean time I keep looking. I know that there isa woman out there that will feel the same as I do about her. I don't know if you read the thread about woman writing to guys in Prison. it is worth a read . Anyway maybe we should pretend to be in Jail and have women write us? Just a thought.

[Psyclox]

Don't worry I'm going through it all now so don't worry we are in this togeter at least, your not alone.

[seeker1950]

Me 2 , john.
Seeker

[Miss_A]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((JohnShaft))))))))))))))))))))))))

[seeker1950]

I just have to talk about this some more. This idea of caring so much for someone...really feeling love for them...and knowing they don't want to be part of your life. It's very painful, and for me, like a death, only not a death. In some ways, it's harder than if the person had really died. At least, that way there would be finality.
I've struggled with my own recovery from this same situation for several months now, and posted adnauseum about it here. I'm sure people are sick of reading my thoughts about it.
I just returned from a trip to visit my twin grandsons, during which time I kept thinking about the man...who rejected me. But driving back home (3.5 hours), I had one of those (what I call) "epiphanies." It was that my HAPPINESS and emotional well-being are worth more than any feelings I may have had for the man. Worth more than any of the qualities I saw in him which were so attractive and endearing to me. Worth more than waking each day with thoughts of him, and ending each day the same. The man is not here, and has made it clear he doesn't want me. So, in a moment of blessed clarity, I realized my key to happiness is to stop the thoughts of him. Now, I'm practicing that, and it seems to be working!
The question you must ask yourself is, "Do you really want someone who doesn't want you?" How much of your emotional energy is worth it in recovering? Months? Years? I think one more second devoted to someone who has rejected us is unwarranted.
Peaceful thoughts,
Seeker

[eskielover]

I think Seeker has really hit the nail on the head. It doesn't make sense to waste so much effort into thinking about someone who you know doesn't want you. Your happiness needs to be with those things that are real in your life....not what you wish was.

If you put it into perspective.....how unhappy would you be if you were with someone that doesn't want you & how unhappy would they make you being around someone they didn't want to be around???? You can't MAKE a person care for you in that way....it has to come from inside. You can only wish they felt the same way as you & that just doesn't make it happen.

I hope you will soon find other things in your life to focus on & take your mind off this person that just won't happen. You will then be able to become a happier person & much more satisfied with your life. It's not easy to put someone you have been thinking about out of your mind but there is no reason to hang on to something that just isn't there.

Think happy thoughts,
Debbie