I really need to stop the snooping but I just can't, not while he's talking to her.

He is, I guess you could say my boyfriend. We're not official because at the moment it's long distance and personally I find it hard to commit to something that is solely long distance and will be for another three years, unless he can come up with some way to visit me during summer vacation which is highly unlikely. Right now it just seems to be more of a 'we don't wanna be alone' type thing. I DO love him and he DOES love me but while he has no problem with this, I unfortunately do but that is because I'm depressed and the fact that I love someone who lives so far away makes me feel extremely lonely.

Moving on.. there is this girl who he used to know who used to be in his class before he moved to another state. They were talking and I was fine with it. Then he tells me that she might like him, told me why, and using my girl-mind I told him she did and if he liked her. He said he couldn't deny that he had been attracted to her while they were in the same class and I, though getting slightly hurt from this, brushed it off. Turns out my suspicions were true and my paranoia began. He's always been easily swayed toward girls who like him. Recently "left" me for three other girls, once including my best friend. So I have reason to be wary.

I still had his facebook passwords from the year previous and he's never changed it. I go on and can see how far exactly the conversation is going with her. Last night while me and him had a bit of a fight (over him getting upset with me because I had mentioned a guy who he didn't know) and he was complaining about how crappy his summer was going to her during this time. He's complained to her about me not "loving" him and she called me stupid and a *****.. Also in a message he said that he really wanted to talk to her, and that he missed her. Now he doesn't hide the fact that he loves me on facebook or to his friends or parents. So I don't know why I'm intimidated by this girl but I am and I don't want to be. I just want to stop invading his privacy. It's unfair and I would hate it if he'd do it to me but because of the previous situations I cannot let myself get blindsided and hurt again and I'm using this as an excuse so if the time comes then I can say I knew it all along and we can just move on.. I need help.

Well, I would have to say that you should probably consider letting him go. You are young, and I am assuming he is young, and as much as it may feel differently, relationships at this age don't last. It is easy to be swayed by every person who gives you attention. Maybe its easier for you to remain faithful, but it doesn't seem like this relationship has much trust. You shouldn't read his private stuff. He shouldn't play you by constantly taunting you with other girls. This just doesn't sound like a relationship that is working. I am sorry this is the way things are going, but its going to get better. You are young, you will find someone else. Wait until school starts, you will have tons of boys around you and surely you will find someone else.

i think it would be good to come clean about the snooping as it doesn't sound like you are going to be able to stop doing it. if you don't want to come out and tell him you could make a joke like you still remember his passwords so if you wanted to snoop you could. that might prompt him to change his passwords.

LittleForgetMeNot, seems you have some decisions to make.

Be well.

I would pointedly suggest to him that he change his password. He'll understand the ramifications of the suggestion and realize what you may/may not have been privy too and that he needs to clean up his act (or not). You know enough now so you wouldn't be blindsided. Let him be himself and do whatever he's going to do. I think you're hurting yourself more by snooping and that's you hurting you? Rule #1, don't hurt yourself!

I've tried this a few months ago as a friend of mine had seen the password saved on my computer and this friend would go in and write **** about him because she didn't like him at all. I pushed and pushed him to change the password until he finally told me he did.. but he didn't. He gave me this password which in fact is the same for everything he has ever signed up for and I've told him I could go into any of his accs if I wanted to and he said he didn't care. I think in the end I just need to learn some self-control and distract myself.. because even if I did let him go I would still have the access. I didn't go on today though I went out and used up my day so when I got home I would be too tired to care. It worked.

((((Littleforgetmenot))))

I understand the predicament you're in; not an envious one and as Byz & the others say you have decisions to make and you will always need to stand by them once made

All I can do is offer you support,

Rhian