not sure i can be in a relationship

im 32 and haven't been in a real long term relationship. yes ive dated and its lasted months but mostly around 6 months. around that time we both know whether or not we want to be involved. i have recently started talking to an old friend i care about immensly. he cares for me too. it seems to me though that anytime i get into a relationship it triggers my bipolar and i start getting depressed. i was so excited and nervouse and even unsure but we talked and things seemed ok now im starting to go down. my mood i'm just not happy. i start to read into every little thing and it makes me even more sad. like today he didnt text goodmorning like he had been and i feel like i was forgotten. he lives in a town about 40 min away so we dont really see each other yet. just reaquainting with the idea that it will go somewhere. im beginning to think though that if i continue to go down and end up more sad that i will ruin things. i usually feel as if i ruin things even if i dont really. i dont know why i worry so since we arent really anything yet. not really perhaps thats what makes me sad i'm not important enough to get the good morning. feeling blue and down on myself not feeling worthy i guess. perhaps this whole relationshiip thing isnt something i can handle. perhaps its not meant to be. There are times I feel I can but when the bipolar starts to sway my mind I doubt myself. I need strength to not let the bipolar interfere

((((((((bridgie))))))))

Thats an awful thing to have to go through each time. Obviously relationships are triggers for you and maybe you could discuss that with your T?

You have a lot of support here bridgie, please don't doubt that,

Rhiannon

I've been trying so hard to not let ot effect me but I'm also so tired and can't sleep I tried calling my pdoc. No response yet. Told I haven't had any money to go see my tdoc. I've needed to for awhile esp after all this drama that occured recently with exes. My friend has said he will be there no matter what and he listened to me go on and on the other day. He really is a great guy and here I am slowly falling into my pit.

Please dont feel alone , We are al on here with one issue or another and I think we can all help each other

Giving you a hug bridgie

(((Bridgie)))

sweetie, you are not the only one with all these thoughts and feelings and doubts.....If you read other threats you will see lots of us have the same types of feelings.....
40 minutes away is not that far, you can visit each other even during the week....I don't know where you live, but in LA 40 min drive considers as a short distance.....
Try to bring yourself back to the present moment rather than thinking about ifs and else....I know it's difficult, but it's possible and with practice you will get better each day then one day you will open up your eyes and you are the master of yourself and your feelings instead of your feelings to rule you!

take care
with love
Marjan

I was feeling good about things. He wld take a minute and txt good morning. The last 2 days he has not. I shldnt expect anything really. Its not like its a rule and he has to. I have had to txt him past cpl days to get a response. Answer is busy at work. I understand that and I want so much to let it go at that. Only thing is last bf started off txt gd morn and it stopped when he started being a jerk. I don't want to say this guy is the same it just brings up how I felt when last bf stopped. Lol except this is a lot sooner. Cld be the end signs already. I think it really may be because it only takes 2 seconds to txt gd morning to someone. To tell them hey gonna be busy at work all day. Something. To hear nothing nothing at all that's bothers me.

So I have to nullify some of my remarks about us not really being an us. He said he considers us an us I told him about the good morning thing and this morning he did txt to me. I told him how I am feeling down and he is ok with that. I really have found someone special and it only took us 10 years to figure it out(that's how long we've known each other) I still want to cry and am blue and I'm trying not to read into every little thing. I definitely need luck on that. He made a post on fb and I took it to heart and made some comments (which I erased bcz really too personal to be on fb) he called and explained his comment and didn't mean for it to strike a nerve. I should be happy that he is so nice to me. When I go back up I know I will be very happy. Just have to get through my down phase and hope he can really handle it like he says