My parents...what does this mean??

Hi all,
Today I went out to lunch with my mom and grandma. I don't know how it came up, but my mom told me that her and my dad are going to start going to couples' counseling. I kept asking her why their reason for going is...does this mean they're getting a divorce? or having problems? She assured me that they are most certainly not divorcing, but it really does not suprise me that they are doing this. I could see it coming for awhile - I don't know if I'm hypersensitive or if I really can feel that something is wrong. Anyways I'm sure this sounds like just another one of Indie's Dramatic Threads That Appear About Every Day so feel free to ignore this. I just want to know what's going on with my parents and what my mom tells me doesn't reassure me. Are anyone's parents going through this same thing? My mom told me not to tell anyone, even T, so I feel guilty posting this but I don't think she'll find out if I do tell T. Thanks for listening to my constant rants

((((Indie))))

Sorry you are so rocked by this, but don't worry too much at the moment. Going to counselling is a good sign that there may be issues but they want to work them out as a couple a married couple.

I don't agree with keeping it from your T because it is having a dramatic effect on you and that will only ripple out as time goes on. So I honestly think you should tell your T and explain to your mum that it bothers you so much and you are very worried about what will happen to your family. She should understand that and it shouldn't cause her a problem because it is your T not hers.

I'm thinking about you and supporting you completely. You are so young and though its good your mum & you are close, it wasn't really right for her to tell you they were going to counselling....it's a worry you don't need at the moment. But she did tell you and it is something that needs to be discussed with your T because of the effect.

Lotsa ((((((((hugs))))))))

It doesn't mean that they're getting a divorce. They're certainly trying to mend whatever rift they feel is there. My parents didn't try that, they just went straight for a divorce. And honestly, if you need to tell someone, you need to, because it's bothering you. I don't think it's fair for her to tell you not to say anything. Maybe to other family members or family friends, but not literally everyone.

I agree with Rhian. Do talk this through with your T including the part about your mum not wanting you to talk to your T about it.

I too think it is a good thing that your parents are making this effort. Since it understandably gives you cause to worry it is important you are able to talk about how it makes you feel. It is good you have your T. I wonder if your grandma couldn't help to reassure you or at least provide you someone else to talk to about how it is effecting you.

Wishing you well my friend.

(((((( Indie ))))))

It just means that your parents love each other enough to try and work through any issues they have in couples counselling. This is a good sign.

You can discuss this with your T in confidence.

(((Indie)))

I agree too. All marriages have bumps in the road. I think going to counseling together is a good sign, but I think you should have the freedom to talk about it with your T and speak freely here.

A couple, like a single person, can choose to work on making their life better in many ways. They can choose this positive route to go without necessarily feeling like they have problems to fix.
They could just have wishes for more

I love your posts. It's a legit concern. I have every faith that you will make the right decision. Your parents deserve their own counsel. Good for them. My parents never sought counselling and had a very stony, cold, abeit long marriage. My father's life turned around 360 after my mother died. It's like he was reborn. Now he's in a relationship that is life affirming. He might have had that with my mother if they'd had counselling. I love the way you acknowlege how things make you feel. It's good that you have a place to vent and share. Well done you.

Thank you very much everyone, and thanks Barley

Sending hugs back

Indie-
My parents went to couples counseling when I was a teenager. It helped them to communicate better and decreased their arguing. They are still married. Counseling doesn't mean they are getting a divorce. Talk with your parents about your worries. I also think you should talk about this with your T. It is really hard when our parents are having problems. You deserve to have someone to talk to about your worries.