[marjan]

Well...honesty, I didn't spend so much time on it....but still no luck yet....
past few days, I emailed around 5 guys, but just one has emailed me back....he looks good....I haven't emailed him back yet....but I will....

seriously, I didn't know finding a partner would be like finding a job....I had so much hard time to find my first job....I tried so hard and I improved my interview skills, my resume almost non-stop, everyday....yes...that's how I got my first job out of college.....(((that was while back)))

Now....all this online dating is like finding the job...it reminds me back all those days....just the difference is that I was 26 when I was looking for a first job out of college, now I'm 36!!!!

It looks like most of my friends find a partner these days.....I feel the only single! well....whatever..........I still have hope....

[Belle1979]

Stay positive Marjan.. you will find the right man. I was on the dating sites for 6 months before I found Louis. He may just be 'the one'

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hey ((((Marjan))))

You are a spring chook! You are young and have plenty of time to find your one. I'd love to be 36 again...and single...I'd be off travelling and leaving the relationship thing for old age companionship...

Don't lose hope dear Marjan you will find the one and it will be sweeter when you do

Rhian

[Damnaged_S0ul]

Internet dating is a hard process, many people are prone to exaggerate or outright lie.
There are good folks out there, but like "real life", the odds of finding one who is truly special are against you. I'm slightly curious, when you say he looks good.. do you mean his appearance or his qualities? If appearance, remember - Exquisite china is beautiful, but it shatters easily under stress, a well made clay pot is less attractive, but lasts for years. Try to become the type of person you want to attract.

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Damnaged_S0ul

Internet dating is a hard process, many people are prone to exaggerate or outright lie.
There are good folks out there, but like "real life", the odds of finding one who is truly special are against you. I'm slightly curious, when you say he looks good.. do you mean his appearance or his qualities? If appearance, remember - Exquisite china is beautiful, but it shatters easily under stress, a well made clay pot is less attractive, but lasts for years. Try to become the type of person you want to attract.

Hi Damnaged_S0ul....no...I'm not looking for an outside beauty at all....when I say he looks good....most likely, I find the person with a profile not blabbing so much about himself and being educated and having some good activities....and having decent pictures....a real guy....not sure how to explain it....but some guys don't like real to me at all....I like to find an average person however I need to feel that chemistry too....but the chemistry doesn't come just with looking at their photos....I need to read their profiles and their emails....some are such a turn off....I think I'm so picky or same thing that you said here "Internet dating is a hard process".....but I feel there is hope in it....just I got to be more active and spend more time....probably, at least one hour per night to go through their profiles stuff....still i don't know even what to email them back.....
thanks again

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hey ((((Marjan))))

You are a spring chook! You are young and have plenty of time to find your one. I'd love to be 36 again...and single...I'd be off travelling and leaving the relationship thing for old age companionship...

Don't lose hope dear Marjan you will find the one and it will be sweeter when you do

Rhian

Thank you Thank you Thank you Rhiannonsmoon.....you are awesome to give me and everybody else the encouragement that we need....
I'm turning 37 in couple of weeks though....hehehe....I know it's cliche, but I'm running out of time due to my biological clock....tick tick tick.....and I do want to have a baby....
It's interesting that how I accepted my lonely life by myself, but it's not being accepted by the society itself....I can see how people feel sorry for me when they find out I'm single....arggg....okay, got to not talk about all these....
Thanks again

[Belle1979]

Nothing wrong with being single Marjan... but I know you want children so keep going chicky, the new right guy is out there xx

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Belle1979

Nothing wrong with being single Marjan... but I know you want children so keep going chicky, the new right guy is out there xx

thanks Belle....As I'm getting more settle in the new apartment, I stay at home now and then I can get on the internet and do some searching.....I'm sure I will find somebody....but it needs more time and effort....not a quick fix at all.....
how is it going with you?

[robin620]

I was doing the internet dating thing for 5 years before I met my husband. It's like any other dating, meaning it takes time and luck. In my case it was the only type of dating I was doing. Most of my social interaction was more professional than personal. I met a lot of guys, good and bad, on the internet. It's hard to kiss frogs via e-mails and I found myself spinning my wheels - on guys that I should have known wouldn't work out - a lot while I was doing that.

Persistance pays off sometimes.

Good luck!

[Belle1979]

Originally Posted by marjan

thanks Belle....As I'm getting more settle in the new apartment, I stay at home now and then I can get on the internet and do some searching.....I'm sure I will find somebody....but it needs more time and effort....not a quick fix at all.....
how is it going with you?

Hey Marjan

I am going well so far. Louis is away still and will be for another 3 weeks but we chat every day which is good.
I am having trouble getting my feelings sorted really, feel like I am falling in love but am scared to do so.. trying to be open with him and keep my heart open too - but the fear of being hurt is still there.

Kepp working on the dating sites.. if it can happen for me then it can happen for everyone

[marjan]

thanks robin620....I love to hear happy ending stories....
I think I had different expectations from online dating, but I was wrong....now, I found out it's just depends on your luck same as other types of dating....and correct, I got to be persistence....hope it pays off!!!!
There are couple of guys that I have to return their email backs....
and correct, it's hard to kiss frogs with email....hehehe

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Belle1979

Hey Marjan

I am going well so far. Louis is away still and will be for another 3 weeks but we chat every day which is good.
I am having trouble getting my feelings sorted really, feel like I am falling in love but am scared to do so.. trying to be open with him and keep my heart open too - but the fear of being hurt is still there.

Kepp working on the dating sites.. if it can happen for me then it can happen for everyone

Well....I think that's really natural....all the fears....I believe your pain is still fresh....but keep going forward girl and don't look back....enjoy the whole new relationship with Luise....and stop thinking too much!
I think that's why I prefer to stay single after a relationship....then my mind is more fresh and not thinking and comparing too much....right now, I'm all virgin again I think all the past guys have been erased from my memory....hehehe.....good thing...ha?

[robin620]

As I was thinking about the on-line dating situation, a thought came to mind. I've never tried the biggies that are advertised on TV mostly because of the cost. However, they are also the most likely to do a personality profile to make suggestions to you. Before the on-line thing I tried a dating service that matched after an interview with you - that didn't work well for me.

The website I met my husband on was a more focused site - for big and beautiful women like myself. They didn't do the matching for me, but the guys on there already had an idea of what I see as my worst feature. The guys I met on that site either didn't mind - or actully liked - meeting large women.

What I'm trying to say is that if you can find a dating site specifially for some aspect of your life - I've seen them for different religious affiliations, ethnic backgrounds, etc. Yes, there are jerks and preditors on there as well. Some guys I met on my site were looking for desperite women with low self-esteem who are willing to give personal information to anyone who pays attention to them. I also found my husband there. He was there because he prefers larger women and said he really fell in love with me the first time he heard my voice on the phone.

[Perna]

I just realized I don't think I could do online dating because I'd be trying to second-guess myself too much; I was going to suggest that you give some "almost" guys a try, maybe even one or two "no" and see how your selection criteria works? But then I thought of what I would put on a site and how that would differ from how I appear in person. That's what the "almost" would be about for me; some guy might think it would be more attractive to a woman to accent one thing and not mention another, etc. and, you, might think the opposite if you met the person in person :-)

I think online dating must indeed be very much like interviewing someone for a job (rather than the other way around, your interviewing a company to get a job) and I'd be afraid I wouldn't know enough from their resumes, would have to write an "outdoor" guy or two, even though I love to read most. I use to read 3-5 books a week and just got another degree and love academic research but I also seem to own an RV and a boat. . . Don't ask me to go on hikes though!

I guess I would try to have fun with the process, in my own way.

[Envision]

If I remember correctly, aren't you originally from another country? Think culture has anything to do with not finding a match? I know you mention here frequently that you want a kid and hear tick..tick..tick. I can tell you with 99% accuracy that the vast majority of guys pick up on that when they just are starting to get to know you, its a red flag. Its good that your honest up front that you want a kid, but there simply isn't a shortage of woman who want kids and feel the clock ticking.

[Belle1979]

Marjan... I think that there are men out there that really wants to have children.

I know that Louis and I have already talked about it and both of us want to have kids within a short time frame (if the relationship looks like it is going well). He thinks that there is nothing greater that can be achieved in his life than to have a family..
I suppose we got onto the discussion early lol.. My best friend is 39 weeks pregnant.. due this Friday and I am attending the birth (her and her other half want me there) so Louis and I had that to start the discussion of children... plus my nephew turned 2 and his nephew is about 3 years of age... He really wants kids and thinks that he will be a great dad (so far as much as I know of him it seems like he would be great)...

Keep trying, you WILL find someone, it is possible I just know it

[marjan]

thanks guys

I'm so busy and stressed at work that when I get home, I'm all crashed....I don't really think that I look desperate at all about the whole baby thingy....I'm just so picky in my choice....that's the real problem....

I just signed up for another dating site which is free and very popular here....I didn't post my photo there, just I don't want everybody see my photo....but I can email them through the site with my photo.....

Honesty, I don't really care if somebody doesn't reply me back or reject me for any reason....that doesn't bother me at all....

Last night, I was chatting with one of the guys....he gave me his number to call him today....but not sure if I do....I just didn't like the fact that he talked about his ex-girlfriend and all he said was like "oh...xxx was great....but she was so needy!".....I didn't like it....and she was from the same ethnic background like me....well...he said he doesn't like to generalize people....which is good....he asked me for my number, I didn't give him....

thanks again guys

[robin620]

Originally Posted by marjan

thanks guys

Last night, I was chatting with one of the guys....he gave me his number to call him today....but not sure if I do....I just didn't like the fact that he talked about his ex-girlfriend and all he said was like "oh...xxx was great....but she was so needy!".....I didn't like it....and she was from the same ethnic background like me....well...he said he doesn't like to generalize people....which is good....he asked me for my number, I didn't give him....

thanks again guys

I chatted with a lot of guys and went with my instincts, most of the time. As with any dating, you have to figure out what things you can live with and what the "deal breakers" are. One guy said he wanted to have kids when we first met, a month later he told me he would be happy to father them, but didn't want to be daddy again at his age. I didn't talk to him much after that.

Use the time that you're "just looking" to decide what you really want, but remember that everyone will have something that will drive you crazy if you let it. When you find someone who goes with all the really important things you need, talk with them about how to deal with the little things.

Keep us posted.

[marjan]

It looks like I have a date this Sunday.....I haven't confirmed with him yet, but I will tonight....

I'm a bit nerves and not sure if I have to give him my phone number in the email??? he didn't give me his number yet!

I know it's just a first date and even it's a possibility to not see him, but why I'm so scared and nerves?

any suggestions?

thx
M.

[Belle1979]

Originally Posted by marjan

It looks like I have a date this Sunday.....I haven't confirmed with him yet, but I will tonight....

I'm a bit nerves and not sure if I have to give him my phone number in the email??? he didn't give me his number yet!

I know it's just a first date and even it's a possibility to not see him, but why I'm so scared and nerves?

any suggestions?

thx
M.

(((marjan)))

I am hoping that it's excited nerves LOL that's what I used to get.. I'd feel sick up until the day and then a strange calm would come over me and I'd realise that the other person was probably just as nervous... plus that I had no expectations.. and in the end I was just myself

I was wary about giving out phone numbers... but when it came to making an date I usually did in the end.. just so that if I was running late or he was running late etc we could get in contact... Plus there were a few text messages like "I'm wearing ..blah..blah.. so you should be able to spot me"

The nerves and the scared felling do pass - I promise - especially the more dates that you go on haha.. I became very skilled at meeting strangers

[marjan]

thanks Belle.....well...I don't know why I'm not comfortable of giving up my phone number, probably because I'm afraid of them to learn more like my home address or more information....there are some crazy people out there....that's why I prefer to meet in person first....but I think I'm putting too much thoughts in it....
well...I emailed him telling him that I will meet him on Sunday at 6pm....he hasn't replied back yet....and yes, I'm still kinda nervous about it....I'm not usually nervous but this time not sure why I am.....I like the way that he communicate with me....He sounds relax and a happy person.....
I'll keep you guys posted here....one way or another!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by marjan

there are some crazy people out there....that's why I prefer to meet in person first....

Marjan...we ARE the crazy people out there!

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Marjan...we ARE the crazy people out there!

hehehe....you are so funny.....no phone number for you then

[robin620]

[quote=marjan;1437047]thanks Belle.....well...I don't know why I'm not comfortable of giving up my phone number, probably because I'm afraid of them to learn more like my home address or more information....

You have to do what you are comfortable with. Once a relationship is started (if one is) the trust will be there to share information. Until then, go with your instincts.

but I think I'm putting too much thoughts in it....

I know it's easier said than done, but this is just a date. You will probably go on many first dates, at least I did. Many times it was an only date with that person. Let things happen when they happen. Part of dating is having fun. If you can't have fun with the person do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them?

well...I emailed him telling him that I will meet him on Sunday at 6pm....he hasn't replied back yet....and yes, I'm still kinda nervous about it....I'm not usually nervous but this time not sure why I am.....

Maybe you're nervous because this time you have us as an audience and someone to answer to. Remember this is YOUR date. Enjoy it!
(or if it goes badly write up a venting post about how dumb men can be )

[marjan]

Thanks robin620......I've been true so many first dates....It's kinda frustrating, but the amazing part is that I don't give up....hehehe...yes, I still have hope and I still go on date.....

It's just been a long time since the last date and I feel a bit awekwards....I think I'm getting more comfortable with my single life and don't want to bother myself with heartache....but I have to be brave and go forward....

he hasn't replied back yet....I think he said he's going somewhere and he will be back on Sunday....really I don't care...but it's fun to go for a date....the last two date was so sucks I've been...with the first guy I didn't have anything to talk about and he kept asking me so many stupid personal questions....I didn't really like it....then the second guy smelled so much I couldn't stay longer! I believe I was a dog in my previous life, I'm so sensitive to smell