[daffadil]

I guess it was inevitable, but he left me. He said he just couldn't deal with my delusions that he wanted someone better. I understand but god, does it hurt. I realize my problem, and am on medication and in therapy. He says he just can't do it anymore. I'm pretty sure this is it, and there's no hope of getting back together. He was one of the good ones, and now I've lost him. I've been dumped before, but both times it was because the other person found someone else, so I didn't want them anyway. It never hurt like this.

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{Daffadil}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry this has happened. You are doing the right thing being in therapy and on medication....it will get better with time hun. I understand how hard this is right now...keep strong...reach out to us here as well as friends and family that you have. You need support right now to get you through this but it will get better.

Please take care


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

[LMo]

Oh, daffadil....

I know how much that hurts. I've been left before, too.

You sound like you have your head on straight, but that your heart is shattered. So all I can say is {{{{{ daffadil }}}}}

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

[heidu]

Daffadil, (you have a pretty name)
I am sorry you are hurting so much right now.
I know it won't make it go away but I'm sending you a hug. I hope you'll keep coming here and talking to us.
Hugs,
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

[daffadil]

thanks for your responses. I know it'll just take some time and I'll be ok. I think I'm having such a hard time with it because it is completely my fault. He is a wonderful person and did nothing wrong execpt not being able to give it more time for me to get over my way of thinking. I have been diagnosed with delusional dissorder and I believe my boyfriend wants to be with someone better than me. Thank you again for all your support, it really does help.

[LMo]

Sigh. Daffadil. That stinks.

Do you want to tell us about your relationship and the breakup? Would that help?

Actually, I was outside working in the yard and was thinking about something you said, about it being "inevitable". And then I came in and you said it was "completely your fault". Why is that?

So sorry for your heartache, daffadil.

LMo

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

[Peanut61]

I'm so sorry for this hurting you, (((Daffodil)))... Fondly, Penut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[Sam]

Hello daffadil and welcome to this wonderful group. I can already see you need a hug, so just for you (((((daffadil))))).

I Hope this helps,

Your friend Sam

Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak louder than words.

[daffadil]

I usually do feel better when I talk about my problems here. I have delusional disorder. which means I believe things that aren't true. But to me they are very real. For instance, my boyfriend and I had a very hard time watching tv because when something as simple as an ad for cover girl came on, I would say, "so I guess that's what you wished I look like" . we could never really have a good time in public, because if a girl would walk by who was attractive, I would say the same types of things about wouldn't he be happy if I looked like that. I can't handle the idea of him going out with his friends, I never thought he would cheat on me, just the idea that he would see other women and wish I looked like them. I am not ugly, and I know that, and he told me how pretty I am, it's just that there's always someone better out there, and I just can't understand why he wouldn't want to be with someone prettier if he could. I know I'm a good person, but there's always someone better. I know this might seem petty, but it truly consumes me, even when I'm by myself, if I see an attractive woman, I wish I looked like that so that I wouldn't have to worry any more. I think about that all day everyday. My shrink says I have the same disorder as people who think that the cia has planted devices in their shoes, and that they are being followed etc. I am on medication, but it has severe side effects, so my doctor is increasing the dosage very slowly, and it will probably be another 2 months before I show improvement. My boyfriend of two years said he just can't do it anymore. I understand, b/c I couldn't handle being treated the way I treated him. The examples I described here were mild. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank-you for all the support, it really does help, this is probably the lowest point in my life, and it's really nice to know I have someone to talk too.

[ltlredvett]

daffodil.... I am so sorry that you are going through pain right now. And, I know how it feels to lose someone that you love because of your own actions, or failings.

Let me tell you that your boyfriend was not looking for "someone better". He simply could no longer cope with your issues. That does not make others "better" than you. I am certain that you are a special person, otherwise he wouldn't of been with you in hte first place. There had to be something about you that attracted him and kept him with you.

I know the pain of losing someone dear to you, I recently have also. Although, I think it has been like two months for me now..... but it seems like just yesterday. I know that is my own mind playing tricks on me to trick me into thinking that I still ahve a chance with her. Because I know in my own my the longer that I go without seeing her, the less of a chance we have of being together again.

And, like you I know that I won't be with her again.... and the pain is strong and runs deep.... very deeTake care and get better and then someone will see that beauty in you once again.