I screwed it again!

Hey im not dead yet. I thought to give myself another chance at hapiness,but the hapiness is so distant from me.
Well,i contacted that guy AGAIN hoping he might start talking to me th4s time,but he has so humiliated me"

I know i shudnt have done this but did he really have to sort of slap me on face. He called me a *****! Im so much embarrased. I didnt take up ur advice about this guy and have to face the consequences now. But i dont think so im capable of handling thi7. Please help me!

I don't know your story but my heart feels your pain.

No one has the right to lay a hand on you. No one! Not ever! No matter what you do or say they haven't the right to slap you and call you names.

What are the consequences you don't think you can handle? What are your choices? You can do whatever you need to do to be safe. We can help you if you need to talk it through to discover your options.

Caring about you. Wishing you well. We are listening.

Sanityseeker, i have mentioned this guy in my previous posts/threads.i have a big crush on him. He never responded well but i took my chances to get near to him. When i mentioned him over here,everyone told me to stay away from him,but i have again tried to talk to him. That is so not gud!

Now m worried he'll talk about it in his circle and they will definitely make fun of me. I feel so embarrased i dunno how will i face him again.

He hit you!! He had no right. I know you care about him and what he might say to others but he is the one who should be walking the plank of shame. Not you. What would this cirlce say about him hitting you? If they have no condemnation for him then it isn't a circle of people that you need to care about.

You have been isolated for so long you are dependant on people that are not healthy for you. Could that be a factor.

There are millions of people in the world. You don't need to be stuck hanging around losers like him. Open yourself up to new people. A new beginning. A fresh start. Leave him in the dust.

Focus on getting well and let the rest go. You tried, it proved he was not worth your effort and now you get to move on. It isn't easy but it is better then staying stuck.

We all do things that we regret, that cause us embarrassment, that make us feel like hiding from the world but tomorrow is another day. Another beginning. Another fresh start. Make choices for you today that will brighten your tomorrows. Get on with the life you want. Get him out of your world. You deserve so much better.

Let this encounter with him be your last. He is so not worth it. So not worth you or your time and attention. You know that. It takes time to make it real. Each day you don't see him or think about him is a day closer to your bliss. Live for your bliss.

He didnt actually hit me, i said it as a figure of speech. He used abusive language though. And i simply avoid him cuz i get to see him everyday! I have to. Cuz we work at the same place. Argh.

Oh Yuk!! You have to work with him. Yecks! Any chance you could find a different job. That sounds totally unhealthy and crazy making to me.

I am glad to hear he didn't actually hit you but abusive language is still abuse. Its not okay. You deserve better.

No there is no chance to move away. So now u can imagine what a mess i have created for myself. But i didnt want it to go bad,i like him, but now im very much worried about what will happen next.

You didn't create the mess by yourself. It required him to play a part in it all too didn't it?

What can you do now to impact what comes next? We are never powerless we just get disconnected sometimes. This sounds like one of those times for you so what can you do to get your power back?

I can imagine your worry. They can really take over can't they. I would suggest you do something special for yourself today. Try to find something fun and uplifting to do that can distract you from thinking or worrying about him. I know.... easier said then done but even a bubble bath or an at home facial or manicure or indulging in some chocolate fudge ice cream (yummmy!) or any number of feel good things that allows you to tell yourself you are okay.

Give yourself some quality you time without all the noise that is bringing you further down. You have nothing to loose and so much to gain from taking care of you.

What makes you feel good that you can do now?

Probably some quality time wid friends will make me feel better. But im sure im again getting depressed.

I'm sorry this happened and he was rude/abusive. Sometimes we have to learn lessons the hard way. Now you know to avoid him. Even though you work in the same place, just act like you don't care and go on with business. You don't need to feel embarrassed ..he's the one's who mean. Don't care about what he says or does - he's not a good person to be around - he's insensitive and mean. You can't let a person like this determine your mood....he's not worth it.

((((jiahkan))))

Everyone has to learn things in their own time and own way... Advice is easy to give to others but hard to take

If I was you I just totally forget this guy. you deserve much better then how he has treated you - in the past and now recently. I know that you had a crush on him, and that the feelings are probably still inside. If people could just emotionally 'switch off' life would be easier (LOL for me anyway) but emotions do play a big part in who we are and how we react to things.
Don't feel embarassed by your actions, he should be embarassed by his!

! ((((((((((((((((hugs for you jaikhan))))))))))))))))

If you have a therapist you need to talk to them and get to the bottom of what is happening so that you don't get hurt. And that is the problem here, you are getting hurt and that isn't a good thing at all,

Chin up and simply start again hon we'll support you as best we can

well I'm glad to know you are still here. was worried for a bit there now that you know this guy is going to continue to be rude and inconsiderate you can work on caring for yourself. the therapist is still a good idea. keep in mind it can take a bit to find one you can open up to. keep posting we want to know you are ok

At work, i pretended like nothing happened. I think he looked a small bit amazed over it. Is that a gud thng?shud i continue pretending so?

I think you are doing the right thing Just continue like it never happened.. Let him think what he wants. When I was really depressed I used the 'fake it till you make it' approach... forcing myself to smile (in public anyway) and really it did help xxx

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiakhan At work, i pretended like nothing happened. I think he looked a small bit amazed over it. Is that a gud thng?shud i continue pretending so?

((((((((Jaikhan))))))))

Stay away from him don't converse unless you have to for work purposes and maintain some dignity. Let him be amazed, I think that is simply because he doesn't understand how you can pretend nothing has happened after the way it came to a head the other day. Just walk away and stay away in order to maintain your self respect and dignity and pretend he never happened for you.

You are by now hopefully learning that there are some people who are just rotten through and through and that you will not align your self with them so that they can treat you badly and get away with it and make jokes at your expense.

There is someone for you out there but you must be prepared to look past their physical appearance and into the personality and see good points in things other than looks....As my mum says "looks don't fill a pantry or pay the rent".

Good luck sweetie and "Nil illegitimi Carborundum" Just don't let them get to you

yeah from now on,i'll try to avoid him as much as i can. i wont look at hin (yet alone stare at him!yikes.) u people are rite...i dont need such person who humilliates me. if i said to him that i like him, what was wrong with that! he didnt have any right to say disgusting things to me.

This is a little off topic but it does relate to your subject. My daughters almost 13 and she had several young men interested in her...asking her out - whatever that means at that age lol. She not interested(thank the Lord). I did give her some advice: to not be rude in her rejection and to let them down politely because at this age, their self esteem is fragile. A bad letdown could affect their self esteem for a lifetime.

So this dude you're talking about, obviously has NO manners at all. He's probably so full of himself that he can't even begin to consider how someone else feels. Maybe he's good looking, but sadly he's UGLY on the inside. I would never want an Adonis looking man, if he's mean and rude. Only talk to him if you absolutely have to, for job purposes, otherwise act like he doesn't exist. As Belle said, act like you don't have a care in the world. He's unimportant at this time and not worthy of one more thought in your pretty head.

Hi there!
So i try to walk past this guy widout even looking at him,and if i catch his eye unintentionally i look away immediately. Im trying very best to pretend that i dont care and that nothing happened between us. But i just cant help mntioning once again...that he is SO handsome!

I must include...thank u all for being there when i needed sincere advice and experienced suggestions on my issue

I think looking doesn't hurt.. just try not to let him see you doing it

Too bad he doesn't have a nice personality to go with the handsome face. I'm happy you're coping well.

He might be behaving gud with some other people thats how he is having his share of social life, no? But yes, not everyone is gud for us,and i better understand this. Now is the time.
At Belle... Thats how things got bad for me in the beginninga and i got a crush on him, ie by looking at him whenever i got a chance and so i started liking him.