[grace02]

My boyfriend of 11/2 years left me almost two months ago. We were very close and were on the verge of getting married. I have gone through a great deal of pain and grief. I found out about a National group called divorce Care that runs support groups in many areas. My couselor suggested I go even though we weren't married because I am experiencing most of the emotions of going through a divorce. I went tonight to my first meeting and was very amazed, everything that was said in there resonated with what I have been going through....the paralyzing grief and pain, feeling like you are walking around with a huge open wound, the anger and sadness. I recommend this group for anyone who is going through a divorce or separation and really wants to heal.
They are on the web under "Divorce Care" and they list all the groups in various locations.
I am barely starting the recovery process.....I have barely been able to function and my sadness and depression have been overwhelming.
I have a long way to go before I heal, but I am on the right path now. I never knew how gut wrenching a separation can be when it is from someone you love with all your heart and soul.
My heart goes out to anyone who is experiencing that....it is hell on earth.But according to this group, there is light at the end of the tunell, it just takes a long time to heal.

[Lexicon78]

I am very sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. I didn't know there were groups out there like this. Maybe I should utilize them.

You see, every serious relationship I've ever had has put me in the hospital, so of course I would need something like this. Thanks for the info.

[grace02]

I thought this one might put me in the hospital, even though I have never been in the hospital. The agony is unreal. I have been slowly trying to put my life back together and I am barely beginning. I still have so much stuff to get through. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and how he is not here anymore, and how he abruptly exited my life to be with his ex wife. When I met him he had been divorced for over 3 years. But she would not stop meddling in our relationship and finally she got what she wanted, he left me for her. I am now trying to pick up the pieces and put myself back together.
I just want to escape it, to make it all go away, but there is no escaping it. There is only the long grieving processes that one has to go through, that sucks the life out of you and takes all joy and hope away.
This is life....this happens every day in relationships.
But it doesn't make it any easier to bear.

[bebop]

(((grace))) after 11 yrs I would think it is just like a marriage. It is very difficult to go thru things like this. I am with ya

[grace02]

actually it was 1 1/2 years----It was a typo above....but even after 1 1/2 years it is still very hard.

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{grace02}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
so sorry you have to go through this difficult time right now.....I can feel your pain in your post and my heart goes out to you...{eyes getting teary}
but we are here for you and post away....{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
take care

i understand how you're feeling. i'm so sorry that it is so hard for you now. i'm glad you've found that group. wish i had known about a group like that, when i was divorced. i needed it. i think this kind of break up is harder than a death. they're still out there and that is a special kind of pain and it takes a long time to conquer it.

[seeker1950]

I agree with you, Faye, that it is harder than death. I recently read a book which talked about that very subject. The grieving widow has closure and the support and sympathy of friends and family. The one suffering from a breakup really receives none of that support.
Grace02 is doing all the right things in trying to heal, and she is a strong, intelligent, and lovely person who deserves much better.
Healing thoughts,
Seeker "Patty"

[bebop]

yeah even 1.5 yrs is a hard breakup

I agree with you, Faye, that it is harder than death. I recently read a book which talked about that very subject. The grieving widow has closure and the support and sympathy of friends and family.

Big ouch.

I have two sister-in-laws, their children, my Mom and myself who would debate you on this.

Closure as far as seeing your loved ones in caskets? Nothing closed for me but the lid and the ground.

Support and sympathy until the mourners are done stuffing their faces with doughnuts, maybe.

Petunia

(Sorry about the hi-jack Grace, not discounting the pain of a breakup. I have been there myself and I know how hard it is. I am sorry you are hurting.)

[LittleBear14]

There is really no pain worse than heartache. My sympathy is yours, Grace. Just know that time heals all wounds...trite, I know, but true. It will be hell getting there, but one day you will be free of this pain.

Good luck.

[MissMarple]

Thanks for posting this. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. My son is going through some of the same pains. His divorce as final today. It was a common law marriage and he really loved this person. I have seen the pain he is enduring. I pray for you both. I hope he can find a support group such as you have found.

[heartbroken]

Grace,

I just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. When that time comes is different for everyone. I was married for a yr and half, w/ him for about 4 and half yrs before I found out that he was "unhappy" and then found out he was cheating. It all ended in divorce, I shared the same feelings you are going through, the loss, the shock, the grief. I didn't eat for days because I was so physically ill. I sought counseling, support groups, and each day became easier.

I can tell you you are on a path to recovery. I too became depressed and put myself on meds. I think that was a turning point for me because it allowed me to start healing. It has been almost a yr since we separated and almost 6 months since the divorce was final. I can tell you I am happier than ever because I believe it all happened for a reason and there is something better out there for me. But I also learned more about my self during that time of pain and heartache that I wouldn't change if I could.

Trust me when I tell you that life will get easier. Sometimes you'll feel like you are taking one step forward and then being sucked back two steps. It's natural and it will happen and its okay. I wish you all the best in your recovery and hope that things become easier and you continue to seek out support from others.

Heartbroken