My anger is overshadowing the real person that I should be. Help!!!

I'm too sensitive
I can go from 1 to 100 in a heart beat
Why do I have to yell and scream
I always take things the wrong way, I'm too sensitive
Why do I always read into things
I don't ever listen and take over the conversation
I blame everything on him

These are the things I've been hearing a lot lately from my bf. We've been fighting a lot lately and we're not happy with each other right now. The issues we've been fighting about ranges from little to serious things they simply feel like they are falling from the sky.

I do admit it that I have highly sensitive and emotional and once I become mad I turn into a very different person. No matter what the issue that caused us to fight, it is then over shadowed by my anger and we end up arguing about how I fight then the real issues of our relationship.

There are no anger management classes unless you're an alcoholic and my therapist have been booked for weeks now and its so hard to see her. I'm very much so on my own.

We are both very unhappy right now but we're not anywhere close to give up on our relationship.

My anger is overshadowing th real person that I should be. Help!!

maybe some time apart so you can work on the real reason the anger is so volitile in you. I hope you get into therapist soon so yu can get help dealing with all the pain that is inside you. Anger i think is just built up pain not dealt with

I don't know anything about you, but when I read your post, I immediately thought of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (dbt).

Its intent is to harmonize the reasonable and emotional parts of yourself to help you make better decisions. It's often prescribed as a form of therapy for those with borderline personality disorder, but is useful really for anyone. It's done in a group setting with a professional facilitator.

If you are seeing a therapist, you might want to ask about this. It sounds like a good way to approach the exact feelings you are experiencing.

Hello Jenn,

I really agree with boodles if you don't do something then your relationship and future relationships have the potential to end and end badly.

Anger is related to pain but it is also related to control. Anger is used in many relationships as a controller, of the person and the situation. People who don't reposnd to your anger are the ones you cannot control.

Honestly hon, find a group therapist who deals in DBT, you will benefit and so will your relationship and your bf,

Rhiannon

I would talk to your boyfriend about this problem and the two of you decide how to address just this one problem! Maybe you will decide, when you get unreasonably angry and can't/won't stop, that your boyfriend will announce a time out and both of you agree, ahead of time, you'll stop the argument and separate to different rooms or activities; just "stop" and do something else because you're not being productive.

I know when I get frustrated because my husband is being dense that he'll feel I am attacking him too much or am too "loud" and will state that, that he cannot discuss "it" (whatever we're talking about) anymore IF I continue as I am being at that moment. That helps me stop, lower my voice and think for a minute how to state what I'm trying to get across in a way that even he can understand. If he still doesn't get it, then more discussion/argument isn't going to help right then! At that point, I "leave" and think about how I am going to deal with whatever "my" side is.

Arguments are about me wanting one thing and you wanting another. There's nothing wrong with that. If we cannot agree so we both understand and move forward together, there's no reason that I can't move forward with what I want by myself!

However, if one does not feel that is "possible" then one has to look and see if one isn't trying to change the other person. That can never work long-term and will always be disappointing.

My husband and I have been discussing money and our lifestyle/goals for the last week or two and it has been "interesting" At the moment, I'm working on some of "my" side by myself. It's not as much "fun" and I'd love companionship overall in my lifestyle/dreams but if that's not wholly possible, it is my life and I can still effect my own lifestyle; as a matter of fact, I believe I have a sacred opportunity and duty to do that.