When I get burned by a friend, is it just me?

When I get burned by a friend, once I get burned I have a really hard time letting go of positive's and negative's. yet when I get burned, I don't ever allow that person into my thoughts or anything.

Yes I have reason to be hurt and mad yet why can't I stop thinking about it?

I know you guys are not therapists but I would love to see other people's take on when you are burned how easy is forgiveness?

Thanks, Crew

((((((((Crew))))))))

It is so hard and so hard and difficult to exlpain It is more than possible that this friend burnt hotter because they meant something more to you That is how I feel about one of my ex-friends who did that to me It is never easy but when the one friend is someone you really never thought would harm you it is much harder to do anything about it is much harder to accept and get through

We are here Crew and though we can't take the pain away and the anger & hurt away we can offer you the support and friendship that is real enough not to hurt you & real enough not to make you burn Thinking of you with love and support

Heleni

you write them off. its better than dwelling on it, hate builds in the one that cant let things like that go, and hate will destry you.

(((((((((Crew))))))))))

I don't know.

Hurt is hard to deal with, sometimes to feel like one is in control over someone elses actions the only weapon is anger, to wipe them out of the mind, not deal with them, not think through what happened, not try and find that part within ourselfs, the Fear of identifying with someone elses wrong action can be to threatening for a fragile ego? Perhaps?

(((crew)))well part of it is, how badly did you get burned? sometimes in relationships of any kind there will misunderstandings. so the best way to determine if you cut someone off or try to discuss how you feel is the nature of the offense. in other words many times we do not have to be all or nothing i've learned. however if the offense is way beyond the scope of fairplay, then i would let that person go...so to speak. i've learned that no one has the right to offend me beyond reason. like often times both parties are somewhat at fault. but the other is true too...sometimes we are truly wronged. i don't want ppl in my life that are negative to my spirit. only you can decide in your case. but if you let the person go, move on. easier said than done but why give them rent space in your head? you are torturing yourself when you do and there is no resolution...and they have moved on to the next person. like they are not worth it.

I agree with letting go.

The trust issue will always be an issue.

The word Friend is Deep. To betray that is ever-lasting.

I'm sorry you were hurt - Yet now you can start fresh
and aware!!!

Everyone that posted and read THANK-YOU and all of your comments

made alot of sense. Writting it out and getting people's ideas on this helped alot plus, I know I will put it to good use.

I guess when you Trust with very very personal information, we learn. I know that we will continue to Trust others but not that kind of person anymore.

I try not to Hate cause I know Hate can consume a person and make us sick physically and mentally. I sure don't need anymore sickness.

Thank you guys, Ya'll Rock.....and I so much appreciate telling me what I needed to hear. We owe you in a good positive enriched way!

again,
Crew

"when you are burned how easy is forgiveness?"

I think it is very difficult to fogive when that hurt comes from a friend or loved one. I guess it's the feeling of betrayal that gets overwhelming. Unfortunately I tend to dwell. When it is a stranger it's fluffed of...over quickly and forgotten. The deeper the ties the more the sting....for me.

I guess it takes time. Sometimes discussing it with the offender can help...change those feelings of hurt to understanding. Validate your hurt feelings to this person, so to speak.

Is this friendship ruined or worth saving?

Wishing yiu the very best

Hey Muser

I don't want to look back because well I don't want to put ppl on the spot but I think because I trusted my intimate severe abuse and then learning it was told it hurt but then somone said something in regards to that this person being what I thought was a close friend and I don't get burned but maybe cause this person ought to know, cause the person that burned us just burned us hotter...

Bottom line.... can this be healed. Were silly to think that it could NOT be healed and were always open to possibilites just imo. To turn your back on someone that hurting and knows the additional hurts really hurts. But knowing they went behind our back burned hotter.....

We wish this person well and that is the best we can do. Ya know?

Thanks for caring to read this,
I know
be well all those in healing..... which includes me,
Crew

I totally agree. Once the trust has been broken.
Sure if your up to it maybe give them another chance
But, nope not in my book.

1st time burnt their at fault
if I give them a 2nd chance
2nd time burnt MY Fault.

It's all good!

People can hide their wolfs faces for a long time, take all your information you've been working on and throw it back in your face.

All the while they were patting you on the back telling you that your doing a good job. When in fact that were harboring their true feelings about you.

And to think EVERYTHING you'd put into the situation and for the length of Time.

But it's all good - Because You get to coame out on Top!

You get to clarifiy who you are - Not who someone else says we are.

So what they did was infact give you the opportunity to look at yourself through their ugly eyes -
BUT what you found CREW is that whatever they said 'you are opposite of that!!!'

Watch out for the snakes.

really

We are stupid to trust.....

Learning these things are the hardest maybe DocJohn knew this before we did... ing again......

Thank you (((((ToBeTrueToYourself))))))))

Thank you for real,

Crew

""We wish this person well"

Sounds like a spark of forgiveness there

Sometimes the offender doesn't directly intend to betray. They make a mistake and betrayal is somewhat accidental. Forgiveness on the other hand is intentional.

It is sad to think about the word TRUST. We're not stupid though Crew.
They are ugly beings. We are big hearted.
Shame Shame on them.