Trust Issues

I'm definitely the jealous type, and it really bothers me because with my current boyfriend I really don't have a reason for it. At the beginning of our relationship I would always feel jealous when I saw him talking with other girls but I was able to remind myself that he picked ME and so I didn't dwell on it.

Our relationship isn't public, because he is my RA in the dorms, and he would get in trouble if his boss found out that he was dating a resident. This is problematic because another girl really likes him, calls him all of the time to hang out, etc. He usually makes excuses, but sometimes they hang out together alone.

My questions are how can I stop feeling jealous? He is the most kind-hearted and honest person I know and I should trust him. And would it be wrong for me to ask him to stop talking to her, meeting her for lunch, etc in light of the fact that it is clear she likes him? I don't want to tell him what to do, but I also don't know how else to deal with this.

Hello, ballet_girl. Is the other girl a resident too? If so, why does he not get in trouble with the boss for the time spent with her?

What you describe seems odd to me.

He is expected to spend time with all of his residents...he just can't acknowledge that he is a relationship with me to her or anybody else who knows him in a work context, making it hard for me to ask her to back off! But its only the girl who I don't trust. I'm 99% sure that he won't cheat on me. I just wish there was a way for me to stop questioning myself so much, and to stop the jealous feelings, interrogating him about what they do and talk about, etc. I don't want my jealousy to mess things up between us.

You do not have to trust the girl.

Just be careful and take care of you. It's understandable what you're feeling, but if he must keep up appearances then you need to try and trust him, and yourself.

Personally, I wouldn't like it either if I KNEW this girl had set her cap for him. He probably doesn't even KNOW that she's after him. If he does know, then shame on him for accepting her requests for lunch dates, etc. I would let him know that she's after him, and also tell him how much it bothers you. Think of it this way ~ if a GUY had his sights set on YOU and your boyfriend knew it ~ and you kept accepting lunch dates with him, what would your boyfriend do?? Would he get mad?? Would he ask you to stop it?? I have a feeling he would. In fact, he'd probably break up with you!!! So use that as an example when talking to him. I don't think he needs to keep this up. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee